Lately, I can’t stop thinking about good, bad and sometimes ugly brand spokes figures in today’s media. Some of my favorite ad campaigns are smoother than your very best wingman. However, I’ve observed a few commercials that offer up some pretty hokey spokes figures that have me flipping the channel just to escape their cheese.

Let’s take Car Fax for example. I really used to enjoy their commercials, especially the one featuring a grandma trying (unsuccessfully) to back her car out of the garage, all while destroying all the contents. That was an undeniably funny spot. How can you not laugh out loud at this old commercial?

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="350" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/k2UX3_8RuIE&amp;feature" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/k2UX3_8RuIE&amp;feature"> </embed></object>

My question is, why did they think they had to develop an ultra lame brand figure? Check out the new fox:

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="350" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AHcd4r6U6gc&amp;feature" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AHcd4r6U6gc&amp;feature"> </embed></object>

I understand the need for the development of a brand figure to positively represent your brand. But…a Car Fox? Are you kidding me? The Car Fax Car Fox? No explanation, no cuteness, no redeeming brand attributes or values, no good old fashion funny spots like their former thirty-second gems. I honestly have no clue as to why their executive team OKed this bizarre puppet as brand spokes person. Can someone, anyone, explain this please? To me this seems like a lame attempt to associate your brand with a random figure so you can say you tried. It feels like there was no real thought or creativity put behind the campaign. Car Fax, I implore you: is a cheesy fox puppet really the best you can do?

Another great example of a brand figure gone wrong is the Bar None sock puppet. It was terribly cheesy and ineffective when Pets.com used it, so why would it would be any better now? See what I’m talking about:

Pets.com:

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="350" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Si1oCq1hwUY&amp;feature" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Si1oCq1hwUY&amp;feature"> </embed></object>

Bar None:

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="350" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/s6FmJpcJU0w&amp;feature" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/s6FmJpcJU0w&amp;feature"></embed></object>

If this spot doesn’t say tired and low budget, what does? I am uncertain as to how the Bar None sock puppet conveys positive brand values or attributes. Does it even say cute, clever or funny really? No, no and no again. How original; buy the asset from Pets.com because you can’t come up with anything else better, funnier, or clever? I am also confused as to how a dog is related to auto financing; at least it made sense representing a pet supplier. Bar None, let’s go back to the drawing board.

So on the value side of the spectrum, your beer is a fringe product. Yet you are desperately trying to make it smooth and sophisticated. Even more mind boggling is the development of the brand figure/character Keith Stone. Do the head honchos over at Keystone really believe that Mr. Stone oozes smooth sophistication? Are you serious? Here is what I see:

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="350" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hNz0kdGLX-E" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hNz0kdGLX-E"></embed></object>

Always smooth… really? Dude is the antithesis of smooth. Pardon my repetitive vocabulary, but this spokesman is CHEESY. When I first started noticing this guy on billboards, my first reaction was less smooth and more rough with a strong after taste. A few years ago Keystone aired  a campaign that poked fun of the “bitter beer face,” made when one drinks cheap beer. Keith Stone gives me bitter beer face, and I haven’t even flipped the cap. Keith, is this really the best you could do to represent your brand?

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="350" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U0u8AHYqi5E" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U0u8AHYqi5E"></embed></object>

Just like an afternoon special, there is a lesson to be learned. When choosing or developing a brand figure or spokes person/character, try creating ones that represent the brand in a positive light. It’s always best to communicate brand attributes and values with a clever and memorable character, instead of using an obnoxious representation that is cheesy, rough and has a strong after taste.

Stay tuned for a blog entry about brand spokes figures that could show Keith Stone a thing or two about “smooth.”