When I was pregnant with my daughter (who is now seven) I read my first parenting magazine, and had the startling realization that most parenting magazines exist to make you feel anxious/insecure/guilty about your parenting skills, with the goal of making you buy Product X (handily advertised in said magazine) to help you deal with your anxiety/insecurity/guilt about parenting.  On a really deep level, I was disturbed that the magazine was targeting me, and by extention, my child who was not yet born, as a consumer!

So my husband and I made a conscious decision to “buy less stuff” with regard to our daughter.  Don’t get me wrong, I like to shop Rhea Lana and JBF as much as the next person, but they are a testament to the fact that we have way too much stuff, much of which we don’t even end up using, for our kids.  We put the word out to friends that we were in the market for used baby stuff – what a revelation!  A cousin loaned us her crib, we bought a new mattress for it, used the crib for two years, returned it to our cousin, and transferred the mattress to a toddler bed on loan from another friend.   A friend loaned us her infant car seat, base, and stroller and breast pump– we used them for a year, and returned them to her in time for her second child to be born.  At that point my brother-in-law’s boys had outgrown their booster car seats, and they passed them on to us, along with a bike carrier, swings, wagon, and trampoline.   A friend loaned us her $200 baby swing, my daughter tried it once, hated it, and we returned it to her the next week (we did the same thing with the hated Bopppy and exersaucer – the added bonus was that we didn’t have these huge pieces of equipment cluttering up our house).  The list could go on, but there have been other benefits as well.

A month before our daughter’s first Christmas, we were at the home of friends with a 4 year old.  My daughter loved playing with the 4 year old’s multiple Fisher-Price playsets.  Noticing this, my friend said, “I’m going to give those to you, our daughter has never liked them, and has hardly played with them.”  I told my friend that as it was clear these toys were like new, I would feel better paying for them.  She wouldn’t agree to that, but we finally reached a compromise that I would make a donation to a charity that had supported their daughter’s adoption – a winning scenario for everyone, and my daughter had a wonderful first Christmas.  We have continued our “pay-it forward” mentality.  Friends gave us their outgrown Little Tyke playset, slide, and car.  When my daughter outgrew them, we were able to donate them to a local children’s shelter.  And clothing – most of my child’s clothing has been handed down, and then we pass it along again.  If we don’t have anyone to give it to at any given time, it goes to Emergency Infant Services.  Knowing our philosophy, other friends have asked us, “What is your plan for your cloth diapers/children’s books/games/tricycles/etc. after you are done with them?” and we are thrilled to pass them along to someone who can use them.  

The bottom line?  We have saved a huge amount of money and time spent shopping.  Our mortgage is paid off, we take great vacations, and we are able to give significant financial contributions to charities that we support.   Better still?  Our seven year old has a really great attitude toward finances and has (so-far) escaped the consumerist trap.