<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852748091/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2553/3852748091_467626286f.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Dear Sirs:<div><br /></div><div>While at your county fair last weekend the fact came to my attention that several items and livestock in your exhibition hall are in violation of one or more of the following universal rules: </div><div><br /></div><div>1. No animal on the face of the planet should be allowed to be this cute.</div><div>2. No animal on the face of the planet should be allowed to be this ugly. </div><div>3. No such animal as pictured can exist on this planet and is, therefore, an alien life form and should, therefore, be studied by scientists and psychics and producers of silly reality television shows. </div><div><br /></div><div>To wit:</div><div> </div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853548652/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3428/3853548652_bc2d86445a.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This animal is in violation of Rule 1 as stated above. Upon beholding the intense and excessive cuteness of this baby bovine quadruped, my husband was forced to call your janitorial staff to squeegee my puddly remains from the floor of your livestock expo area. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This scene could have been avoided had your board ensured all animals on display at your county fair were in compliance with the aforementioned three rules. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Other examples of violations of Rule 1 include:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853547462/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2672/3853547462_0d6de95306.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852754461/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2596/3852754461_f1783337bc.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852753025/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2664/3852753025_6716eb2fbf.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852748969/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2513/3852748969_5e69eb39c9.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853538390/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3576/3853538390_d71a416d19.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852747603/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3574/3852747603_6c3a1ba7e3.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div><br /></div>Last but not least of the violations of Rule 1, sirs, was this little number: <div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852738739/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2481/3852738739_505686fb5c.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div><br /></div>And...I just spontaneously became pregnant with three sets of twins. Maybe four.<br /><br />The 2009 Ottawa County Fair reckless rule-breaking madness didn't end there. Just look at the following photo accounts of violations of Rule 2 I recorded while visiting your ignoble and base gathering of beasts:<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853540546/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2435/3853540546_bb58d75d18.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852741173/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3478/3852741173_b0f5996ed8.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852744453/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3647/3852744453_c0e438579a.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852745839/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3439/3852745839_7f0b20cc46.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853541834/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3429/3853541834_5797258a02.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853543046/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2656/3853543046_283e629c9c.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853679632/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3463/3853679632_fb01ed197d.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br />That this man, dressed in overalls and a trucker's cap, was posed to look incredulously at a tornado shelter in the middle of a public fair was obvious. <div><br /></div><div>If the budget funding your attempts to portray the local townsfolk in a realistic way is running low, allow me to suggest turning the produce and baked items sections of your expo center into cash cows by unleashing them onto the free market:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852739333/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2629/3852739333_e3544dbf43.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3853530364/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3505/3853530364_80a135ee29.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br />Perhaps your fundraising efforts will yield a surplus profit that could cover shipping costs incurred by sending the following specimens in violation of Rule 3 to appropriate authorities for study and, if necessary, deportation to their native planets:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852747051/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3552/3852747051_260667c7d3.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852740663/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3535/3852740663_61ebebdb9f.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br />See how these beings perplex your locals. This befuddled man was later seen putting cereal in the refrigerator and milk in the pantry and, later still, beer in the grill and burger patties in the makeshift ice bath he made in his wife's prized Maytag.<br /><br />As for this specimen, no one has seen or head from it since its escape from this year's Ottawa County Fair:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tashadoestulsa/3852739929/" title="Ottawa County Fair 2009 by Tasha Does Tulsa, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2614/3852739929_f8b1e4030d.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Ottawa County Fair 2009" /></a></div><br />If local search parties are unsuccessful in locating this escapee, I would be happy to help connect you with the federal or even intergalactic authorities, both of whom seem particularly interested its apprehension.<br /><br />Thank you, sirs, for your attention and prompt cure of these violations. I trust the 2010 Ottawa County Fair will warrant a different sort of letter entirely - perhaps a benign form letter, or maybe even a congratulatory one, if you play your cards right.<br /><br />Warmest regards, </div><div><br />Tasha Ball<br />Official Blogger of the Tulsa State Fair Cheese on a Stick<br />Auxiliary Strawberry Newberg Photographer<br />Amateur Funnel Cake Taste-Tester, API (Always Prepared Interpreter)<br /><br /></div>