So wait... after finally getting your child into a preschool (if you don't live in Manhattan or well.. quite a few cities... you will have no clue why we breathe a sigh of relief after hearing a voice after hours of busy signals) and you take them to their first day you hear get the privilege of hearing some parents GOOGLE the parents on the class list.  No really.

These parents GOOGLE other parents before they allow their kid to attend a play date at their house.. and some parents don't stop there.. they actually perform background checks on other parents to determine their net worth.

I'll save everyone the trouble.  My background is quite dull.  There's nothing interesting to uncover.

My father didn't invent the Post-it and my mother doesn't know any funny jokes.  My maiden name is not Astor and when I was 20 I wasn't bailed out of jail for stealing collector's edition Pez dispensers from a pop museum in Amsterdam.

What is true and if you dig deep you may find out? I once had a Calico cat named Samantha but Sister Victoria (yes, as in a habit wearing nun) took her to another family after a few weeks because I was afraid of Samantha's claws scratching me.  (Years later, I had a declawed cat named Shea who was given away when Roman said when we moved in, I couldn't bring her since he had severe allergies. *sigh* The things you do for love.)

So what do you really need to know before you Google me pre-playdate? If you send your child to my house for a play date there are a variety of snacks and toys available...  My daughter knows how to share.  And sometime soon, my son will learn as well.  I've never had plastic surgery and as far as I know, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in zip code 10024.  I don't order take out and hide the delivery trays pretending I made the dinner.  So if it's bad, it's all me.  Same goes if it's the best meal you've had in six years. (And then I'll just wonder which minimum security prison you've been in for the past few years because I'm the first to admit my culinary feats only extend to bake sale material.)