Phone sex is to remain a secret. At all times. Because that's just exploiting masturbation and THAT is not proper cocktail party talk. Blowjobs are, but doing the deed to yourself or getting someone else to? Nope. Taboo.

Ok, but seriously what I was thinking was, "Dude. Keep it to yourSELF."

Which is the best pun I have come up with in weeks. So I'm going to let it stand.

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