Funniest grocery shopping story?  Oh my, there's SO many to chose from!  Okay, here's one that comes to mind right away:

I have terrible seasonal allergies.  I wear contact lenses.  Put those two facts together and you can imagine how mucky and dried-out my eyes can get.

Especially, at the end of the day.

I was grocery shopping with my 4 kids - because, I am also a major DORK! - and was nearly done, when my right eye started bugging-out around the end of the meat aisle.

I kept blinking like a bleeping beacon.

"I'm sorry...ma'am...but, I'm married."

[eyes go wide]

"Excuse me?"

Because, I'm also very slow on the uptake.

"Jeez, Mom...you were totally winking at him!"

UGH.

"NO, my contacts are bugging me!"

Riiiight.

Yes, my 12-year-old told her Dad and, well, I'm NOT allowed to go food shopping, anymore.

Did I mention I'm a total DORK?

[shrugs shoulders]

Dumb, not so much ;o)