by <a href="mailto:kulamckula@gmail.com">Kula</a>

There is an old adage that simply states, "you are what you eat". A mere five humble little words have the power to define us right to our very cores. What is at your core? Are you made up of a Nutella, blueberry, salmon existence? Or do you lean more to the side of Ramen noodles and frozen burritos? I personally LOVE comparing people to food. If you spend more than 40 minutes with me there is a high probability of me sharing my "Pickles and Mayonnaise Theory" with you. Laugh all you want, but I have done enough field research and meticulous studying, and am proud to say that I have this theory down to a science. It will soon be taking over the world. I don't like to brag on myself, but let's just say that I can spot a "Bread&Butter-Pickle-Eater" a mile away! 

Please, don't be jealous of this talent, we all contain special powers, this just happens to be mine.  Now putting the pickles on the shelf for a moment, I have stumbled onto yet another food that allows us into the brain of the eater, and BONUS, offers a guided tour of what makes up that lovely creature. Nothing can quite open up the person within and spill all it's juicy secrets like that of a famous frozen treat. Whether soft serve, scoop service, late night pints, or sundaes a plenty....show me your ice cream and I'll tell you what kind of person you are!

Now in the interest of full disclosure, I am not a scientist researcher of human behavioral patterns. What are those people called? Do they even have a name/title? See, the very fact that I don't even know what they are called proves I have no doctorates on my walls to back up my misplaced ramblings and theories. I am a people watcher people! Some may call this "snoopy" but I just claim to be observant. In addition, I am a life long investor and lover of the type of food group that always catches a bad rep, That being the misunderstood so called "junk food". Thanks to my father, I have this imprinted notion, that a meal is never done unless finished off with something sweet. Enter stage right: ice cream!  

<strong>Flavor: Vanilla</strong>
<em>Let's start with the basics shall we? A clean and classic taste. I picture a Vanilla society soiree to be that of 18th century dance and feast. White gloves, ribbon, and brandy-oh my!  Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth would be the prom king of queen.</em>

I would assume that most would have the feeling "Vanilla?!?! Can you saying SNOOZE FEST!!" And, if I'm being a 100% honest, I once felt the same way, good sirs and madams. I decided I needed to take a deeper, unbiased look into this flavor. Taking a survey of those for whom vanilla is their go-to choice, I have come to this conclusion: vanilla lovers are soft, simple, calm, classic individuals (do not count Vanilla Ice in this, I think he was forever banned from this club). They don't need a whole lot of fluff in life and they don't let things ruffle their feathers. But they have this confidence about them. Linking this to the flavor itself, which plays the foundation for hundreds of other flavors and toppings, it is a strong base, one you can count on. Same for the people behind the flavor, they might choose to play in the background a bit more, but they get the job done and you can rely on them. They also seem to be unbelievably organized. (Side-note: my roommate is a member of the vanilla fan club and it is almost painful to me how she just ALWAYS seems to know where EVERYTHING is that she is looking for. Pfft!)

<strong>Flavor: Chocolate</strong>
<em>Rich and decadent to the taste-buds. Every occasion calls for chocolate! Example: what is Bill Nye the Science Guy doing at this book club for Eat, Pray, Love? Oh, there is a chocolate fountain! (And he secretly wants to dish over what David must of looked like!!!)</em>

Ah, chocolate, just when I thought I could not adore you more you go out and have a whole movie with Johnny Depp advertise your goodness! Can anything quite satisfy a deep craving that sweeps over you unannounced like that of a good piece of chocolate? Let me help you with that. The answer is NO! Even though it seems almost improbable, unnatural, and completely other-worldly, (spoiler alert), there are some out there that do not care for the taste that can at times make all your problems disappear if but for a moment. That is why my fellow ‘Chocolateers’ ( I just made that up!) hold a special place in my heart. Those who enjoy a simple cone filled with the sweet and non flashy flavor usually tend to be fun-loving, strong, nurturing, passionate people (if you couldn't tell, my mother is a Chocolate girl). 

Chocolate forms bonds. Whether in cookies or relationships. It is universal. It fits in with anybody and everybody. Chocolate with an apple? Peanut Butter? Potato Chip? Bacon? Sure! It is a skilled conversationalist, because it comes in some many forms. Sauce. Fudge. Bars. Pieces. Sprinkles! Options are limitless. It makes you feel like even though today was the absolute pits, someone has got your back, and that it's all going to be okay. 

Thank goodness for those in Spain who saw the cocoa bean's worth after Christopher Columbus failed to see it's value!

<strong>Flavor: Fruit</strong>
<em>The stuff that grows on trees and vines and have a lot of nutritional value, antioxidants and vitamins. They are better than vegetables because they are sweet, not bitter. Just like their fanclub!</em>

Let's throw a little healthiness into the mix shall we? Let's talk about Fruit baby! Let's talk about you and me! No wait. On second thought, yeah, let's just stick to the fruit. Strawberry, black cherry, or sherbets are definitely not every one's cup of tea, or scoop of preference! I feel as if these flavors may get over looked, as do their consumers. Fruit people are sweet, loyal, independent, non dramatic humans. I feel like they always seem to be giggling, and they are never the ones to initiate some type of conflict. They do not require too much attention, and I think we can all be a little bit better about reminding them how much we appreciate them! (I'm looking at you Vanilla and Chocolate for your other partner in the Neapolitan mix! Show Strawberry some love!).

So which one are you?! 

<em>Check back tomorrow for three more revealing flavors and the conclusion to this v</em>