Tammy,I am very moved by your sharing.  How honest and transparent of you to admit that at first, you wouldnt have cared if your ex had exited the planet.  But, how beautiful your testimony of how God changed your heart to desire for him Gods mercy. and especially how in your repaying evil with kindness, you are learning to have peace over darkness.  Peace over darkness. Yes, yes, yes.  Instead of the darkness invading your heart and bringing hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, or despair.