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By Alan Ilagan </p><p><a href="/images/old/6a00e5537d966288330120a954cee7970b-800wi.png" rel="lightbox" style="display: inline;"><img alt="Screen shot 2010-03-19 at 9.43.21 AM" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00e5537d966288330120a954cee7970b " src="/images/old/6a00e5537d966288330120a954cee7970b-500wi.png" style="width: 480px;" /></a></p> <strong><a href="http://xmarkyourspot.com/#/films/film_3" target="_blank">Calvin Klein</a></strong> is desperately in need of some new juice. Having his days of Brooke Shields and Marky Mark glory overshadowed by David Beckham’s Armani bulge, Klein has tried to return to edgy territory in his latest underwear campaign starring <strong>Kellan Lutz</strong>. (Apparently Mr. Lutz is an up and coming Hollywood star, but if you’re not a teenage girl you may have missed his moment in the Twilight glow.)<br /><br />Klein’s commercials for his new “<strong>X Underwear</strong>” rely on a bit of attitude and a lot of bleeping. Both are helpful in selling supposedly sexy underwear, at least when done correctly. This version, however, falls decidedly flat – and if there’s one thing you don’t want to be when underwear is concerned, it’s flat.<br /><br />“What the bleep are you looking at?” Lutz asks the viewer. It’s almost cheeky enough to work, but manages to be more of a repellent than a cocky come-hither challenge.


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<p>“You wanna see my bleep?” the models demand in stark black and white. I guess we’re supposed to say yes, but instead of drawing anyone in, it only succeeds in establishing distance, which is the antithesis of what you want to do when selling intimates. To be a successful sales generator, an underwear ad must appeal to something in everyone: the women are supposed to want to get closer; the guys are supposed to laugh or relate. None of it seems to be happening here.</p>As for the underwear itself, those too are a bit lacking in the style department, relying on big, bold, boffo block letters that scream anything but sophistication or sexiness. It’s supposed to have been “inspired by the fighting shorts of a boxer”, which lends a masculine angle in name only; macho kind of goes out the window when you start parading guys around in their underwear, no matter how tough they might be.<br /><br />The final tag-line, “Mark your spot,” sinks this skivvy ship completely, conjuring thoughts of marking the underwear like a dog, both front and back, and that’s not the sort of image that’s going to get anyone to slide into these Calvins.<object height="295" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uEtmQIRTYlk&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="295" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uEtmQIRTYlk&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" /></object><object height="295" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OEAW5Nj630U&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" height="295" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OEAW5Nj630U&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" /></object>
