I don't have a whole lot of memories, good or bad, of Halloween.

I can't remember a single costume I ever wore for trick or treating. What's worse, I can't even remember a single costume either one of my children wore. In fact, the only memory I have of a Halloween celebration was a party I attended in St. Louis in 1985. It was the night of the seventh game of the '85 World Series between St. Louis and Kansas City, and most of the crowd -- including my date -- was in the living room watching the game.

[caption id="attachment_48" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="The cutest pirates"]<img class="size-medium wp-image-48" title="maddie pirate" src="http://mikerappaport.net/onevoice/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/maddie-pirate-300x225.jpg" alt="The cutest pirates" width="300" height="225" />[/caption]

I was in the next room, carrying on a conversation with a very attractive woman in a Bo Peep costume. Yes, that's all it was, a conversation.

But last Halloween was little Maddie's first, and even though she was only about six weeks old, we bought her a ladybug costume that looked totally adorable on her. She'll never remember it, but someday she'll enjoy looking at the picture.

This year the world's prettiest baby is a little more than a year old, and since her birthday came on a day called "International Talk Like a Pirate Day" -- yes, they really have that -- her costume this year is as the world's littlest buccaneer.

She won't rememebr this one, either, but I hope she'll be luckier than me and eventually remember at least a couple of her favorite Halloweens.

I wonder why I don't have any memories of it. Maybe I'm blocking. Maybe I was molested by a Jack o' Lantern.

Nah, I think I'm just getting to the point where my brain is filling up completely and the stupid stuff is driving out some of the childhood memories.

I remember the theme to the Brady Bunch, even though I didn't even like the show.

But I can't remember Halloween.

Damn.