Does anyone get older without carrying memories of the past along with them?

I have reached a point my my life where there are many people I have known that I will never see again, indeed that I never <em>can</em> see again. It reminds me of the old saying that if you live long enough, you will lose everyone you have ever loved. I have written before about the 115-year-old Indiana woman -- at the time the oldest person in the United States -- who died just before Thanksgiving 2008. Her husband had predeceased her by about 70 years, and all her children and grandchildren had died too. The thought of living that long blows me away -- and totally appalls me.

I do not want to outlive my children. I don't even particularly want to outlive my wife, although I certainly recognize that is a possibility, since I am only three months older than she is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxcLlQEkxxE

All six of my grandparents have been dead for at least 20 years. Two of them died before I was born, so I never knew them. I didn't know my New York grandparents as well as my Ohio ones, but I miss them all. My mother is the only parent I still have alive, and I do feel fortunate to be in my 60s and still have her around.

My brother and my three sisters -- all younger than me -- are still with us, which is another blessing. My closest friends, including ones I rarely see in person, are all still alive, and so are most of the women who have mattered to me at one time or another. Facebook has enabled me to look in on some of their lives, and I hope all of them will live long, happy lives.

There have been roads taken and roads not taken in my life. That's pretty much true for everyone, but I wonder how many other people have spent as much time through the years wondering what was to be found at the end of those byways.

A friend from high school just sent me some fascinating materials his older brother had saved from high school. I knew his brother, although not well, and I was saddened to learn that he had died from cancer last year. Just another person I'll never see again.

It's certainly important to live without regrets. There really isn't much point wondering what might have been, but I'm not sure there's anything wrong with fondly recalling moments from the past. After all, even if I'm going to live to be 115, I have more past than I do future.