So there's this thing, the Seattle-Freeze, which I am not really sure is a thing at all but which everyone talks about. The idea is that for newcomers to the city it's hard to make friends in Seattle.

Now I hate to break it to you, but it's hard to make friends in <em>any</em> city after college so I am not really sure what makes Seattle different in this respect. Like somehow, it's really, really hard to make friends here? Unclear.

But it's enough of a thing (and Seattle is enough of a nerdy-tech place), that there's a <a title="The Seattle Freeze" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze" target="_blank">wikipedia entry</a> for the Seattle Freeze--you know because the Seattle Freeze clearly needs its own wikipedia page. And Seattle public radio, <a title="KPLU and the Seattle Freeze" href="http://www.kpluwonders.org/content/why-seattle-freeze-so-hard-melt" target="_blank">KPLU also has a piece on the Freeze</a> but it's more light hearted and inquisitive than anything else.

Here's the deal, I don't want to believe in the Seattle Freeze. I think it's just a state of mind. Then again, I'll also talk to just about anyboy and it's in my best interest <em>not</em> to buy into the Seattle Freeze.

All of this said, what's a nearly friend-less girl like me to do? Well, I am working on making friends in Seattle. Now to be clear, I'm not exactly friend-less.

One of the reasons I ended up here is because my sister C. calls Seattle home. So step one to making friends in Seattle has been this: steal my sister's. I've wormed my way into book club, I've been invited to celebrate birthday parties and we've consumed lots of good, bad and questionable alcohol together. So far, so good. I'm well on my way to stealing all of her friends. Lucky for me, she has good taste in friends.<!--more-->

I also have a few really good friends from high school who live in the area. We've been reconnecting and having a lot of fun doing it but their lives are different than mine. They are married and have children. Really cute, smart and funny kids but kids nonetheless. It means making plans further out and negotiating more complicated schedules. I am glad to do it and I am happy to see that our friendships are strong enough and flexiable enough to adjust to these changes. But,<em> gasp</em>, we aren't as available as we were at 16 to just hang out.

So I've been busy putting myself out there in an attempt to make new friends.

That's the thing about making friends you have to put yourself out there. You can't wait for others to invite you along. You have to make plans and you have to initiate hangouts. You have to be proactive. You have to claw your way in but you also have to be willing to go out.

Last week, for example, I attended the monthly book club meeting hosted at <a title="The Secret Garden Bookshop in Ballard" href="http://secretgardenbooks.com/" target="_blank">the local bookstore Secret Garden Bookshop</a> in Ballard. They have a standing meeting on the third Thursday of the month. I was a little nervous to go for the first time, but once there, everyone was so nice. It was little hard to get a word in edgewise but I think that's one of the signs of a good book club. Now I didn't leave the meeting with a new best friend but I did leave with a sense that the men and women who attend are interesting lively people and that I'll be back next month.

I've also been busy getting to know a number of my neighbors in my apartment building. The thing that has been hard about this is just timing issues. We always have a good time when we see each other, but our schedules don't always match up. This seems to be a modern problem--not just a problem when it comes to making friends. Anyhow, we're going to a show on Friday night together so that should be great fun.

In my mind, that's how this making friends thing works--little by little.