My living on leva challenge has almost come to an end.  As predicted, there are somethings I was really successful  with and other things that really tripped me up.

One of the big things that tripped me up wasn't something I'd really thought much about before I started the project. It's this: your friends influence your spending.  Okay, okay. I know this shouldn't be shocking and it wasn't. I was just reminded about the role of friends in one's finances.

Here's the thing, the majority of my friends are expats. We get paid expat salaries and on a whole most of us don't have to worry about whether we should buy the 15 leva bottle of wine or the 9 leva bottle. If we want to go to the movies we do. And it's generally no big deal to take a taxi. Oh and I never blinked at paying 2.50 for a cappuccino in Onda at school.

But then I decide to live for a month on 400 leva. For me, this meant no more Onda, few taxis, no movies and the 6 leva bottle of wine.  No big deal. I was actively making the choice to live more deliberately.  Sure, I had to tell a few colleagues that I couldn't grab a coffee with them at Onda but that's okay and they understood.<!--more-->

Then I said no to the movies, a couple of different restaurants and skiing (okay, I don't ski so this one wasn't so hard).  Still I was struck by how much I was saying no to--or how many different creative ways I was saying no. Oh, I've got plans. No I can't tonight. Thanks but I've got to grade. I'd love to but I have to do <em>X</em> early tomorrow.

I didn't want anyone to feel bad about the choices they were making. The ways they were spending money.  But I also copped out. I didn't make other cheaper suggestions. There are a lot of good restaurants in Sofia that aren't expensive and I should have been suggesting these.  But I didn't.

Today, it makes me wonder in what ways I unknowingly and without meaning to exclude Bulgarians from my life--my friends, colleagues and others. People who can't or don't say--hey, that's too expensive. Let's try this instead. For me, it's much less about the food and much more about the company but I am a creature of habit and it seems that I in my "regular" life I make choices to frequent restaurants, bars and clubs that aren't cheap. And I have a hunch I am excluding some really interesting people as a result.

Of course, this problem is coupled by another.  The mid-level and slightly more expensive restaurants tend to be willing to take reservations over the phone in English and have better English language menus. And as an expat, I can say this is something I appreciate.  I can also say that as expats we don't want to be completely reliant on our foreign friends to help us make out the menu or to make reservations.  It's infantilizing. So, we make choices that give us more control even if it's more expensive.

And so, this issue of negotiating restaurants choices with my friends (or not as the case maybe) has really gotten me thinking about my "membership" in the expat "club" in Sofia. It was hard for me to say--that's too expensive, when normally it's not something that concerns me much. And it's this that I think is most important to think about and investigate. What's difficult.

When none of your friends are trying to stick to such a constrictive budget, they're not thinking much about cost.  It's like being on a diet when none of your friends are.  Your friends are ordering pizza, french fries or hamburgers and you're eating a salad.  The only different is that I'm on leva diet.