Each fall I find myself thinking about my life in Bulgaria. The whole thing often strikes me as wonderful, wholly unlikely and a little magical--even four years into this adventure. I never imagined when I moved to Sofia on a Fulbright that I'd still be here let alone that I'd be teaching English, learning Bulgarian and traveling as much as I have.
<a title="Heart by karolinka.sofia, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29050866@N06/6970314530/"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7197/6970314530_1eb0dd5d58_z.jpg" alt="Heart" width="640" height="427" /></a>
The thing is Bulgarian hasn't been easy. When I moved here, I didn't know the Cyrillic alphabet. Well I knew the basics but I wasn't any good at it. So I took an intensive course and at the end of this course thought for the first time: maybe I'll be able to do this after all. Since then I've taken regular private lessons but Bulgarian is a difficult language and the fact of the matter is I should probably commit more time to  it than I do.

Often people ask me why I even bother. Many Bulgarians see very little value in a foreigner learning their language and more practical Americans say wonder if I'd be better served learning Spanish. You know, something <em>useful</em>.

The thing is learning Bulgarian is useful.

How can you live in a country and not try to learn the language?

You'll miss out on so much if you choose to live in an insular expat community speaking only English while living abroad. And practically speaking, of course, a night out is much easier if you can read the menu, order the food you want, pay the bill when you want and take a taxi home.

I think that you learn a language for yourself but it makes the rest of your life abroad that much less frustrating.
<a title="In 10: Learning Bulgarian by karolinka.sofia, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29050866@N06/7032222419/"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7231/7032222419_34b3234532_z.jpg" alt="In 10: Learning Bulgarian" width="640" height="427" /></a>

I don't want to miss out on anything--although I am sure that I have. Enter: <em>jokes</em>.

Mastering Bulgarian is not easy or it hasn't been easy for me.  I spend a lot of time, putting a smile on my face and doing the best that I can with the Bulgarian that I have. I've bumbled my way through a lot of conversations. Very little about Bulgarian seems graceful to me. Often I feel like I am tripping over verbs and playing eni-mini-miny-moe when I'm grasping for a preposition but you know what, I know a lot of nouns and I can speak in first person, present tense pretty flawlessly these days.

However, I wouldn't have it any other way--learning Bulgarian has challenged me to think in new ways, learning Bulgarian has forced me let down my guard and open myself up to making mistakes, learning Bulgarian has made me laugh and it's made me cry, and learning Bulgarian has introduced me to people I would have otherwise never met.<!--more-->

<a title="Mladost by karolinka.sofia, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29050866@N06/5089470277/"><img src="http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4151/5089470277_64e62a4493_z.jpg" alt="Mladost" width="640" height="427" /></a>

As strange and foreign Bulgaria and Bulgarian seem sometimes, this place has become home and a huge part of this is due to my willingness to take risks and my commitment to learning Bulgarian.

There you have it. Sofia is beginning to feel like home and I am developing my own loyalties. I know which brands I like at the grocery store and I believe that my Mladost (младост), Mladost 1A is the best of the Mladost neighborhoods.There are a total of five: Mladost 1, Mladost 1A, Mladost 2, Mladost 3 and Mladost 4 but mine is clearly the best of the Mladosts. All of the neighborhoods are filled with huge crumbling block buildings, ground level shops and restaurants, dilapidated bus stops, poorly paved unnamed streets and a smattering of fruit and vegetable stands.

An outsider wouldn't know where Mladost 1 stops and Mladost 1A starts they all look the same, but I do. In Mladost 1A, I have my shops and women who smile at me and greet me when I pop in.

It hasn't always been like this.

I am tall and blond and as such don't blend into the general population. In the beginning, these women would give me at best a weary smile suspecting that I didn't speak Bulgarian and knowing that they didn't speak English and at worst they'd sigh heavily and grudgingly put down their plastic cups of espresso to help me.

They weren't looking forward to waiting on my and I hated this. Okay, to be fair, they weren't looking forward to helping anyone but this was especially true for me. Bulgarian was the game changer. As soon as I spoke some Bulgarian (and in the beginning this was very, very bad Bulgarian), their drawn faces would loosen a little and over time, these women have become almost friendly.

And you know what, I'll take it.
<a title="my Mladost fall 2012 by karolinka.sofia, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29050866@N06/7912006496/"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8314/7912006496_7f7e20b1a5_z.jpg" alt="my Mladost fall 2012" width="640" height="480" /></a>
Recently I stopped by a shop to buy sparking water. I glanced in the case, nothing. I asked her in Bulgarian: Do you have any sparking water? She told me: No, not right now. There will be more later this afternoon. I said: Okay, thanks. Have a nice day. Her response: You too.

<em>You too! </em>Ha. She spoke to me, I understood and her speech was polite verging on friendly.

I walked home sparkling water-less but happy. I had a normal exchange in Bulgarian. The kind of exchange that I could just as easily have had at home in the States. I couldn't help but smile.

In this moment, I also couldn't help but wonder if I smoked cigarettes and popped in more regularly if she'd like me more and if she'd have warmed up to me sooner but I pretty clearly never know the answer to this question and that's okay because I had a complete exchange with a normally sour shop keeper in Bulgarian

These days what I do know is that speaking the language makes you feel more confident and more at home in a place that's completely unlike anywhere else you've ever lived.
<a title="Bus Station by karolinka.sofia, on Flickr" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29050866@N06/5146270929/"><img src="http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4037/5146270929_2692074244_z.jpg" alt="Bus Station" width="640" height="427" /></a>

Four years in, I'm not as good at Bulgarian as I'd like to be. I work at an English language high school and spend my whole day teaching Bulgarian teenagers English literature. My colleagues speak excellent English and as a result I speak minimal amounts of Bulgarian. Still I've made a point of studying, keeping up with my homework and practicing my Bulgarian when I can.

Now I guess is the time to recommit to <a href="http://daybyeday.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">my Bulgarian language blog</a>. There's nothing quite as humbling as opening yourself up to criticism on the internet in a language that is not your first, in a language that you don't really know the ins and outs of and where you have basically no control over the nuances but how else can you learn?

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<a href="http://kaplaninternational.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/KAPLAN_BENEFITS_INFOGRAPHIC.jpg"><img src="http://kaplaninternational.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/KAPLAN_BENEFITS_INFOGRAPHIC.jpg" alt="inspire language learning" /></a><a href="http://www.kaplaninternational.com/index.aspx">Learn English with Kaplan</a>