I have many fewer clothes in Bulgaria than I did in the States so this morning when I went to my closet and pulled out my go-to gray cardigan sweater I was sad to find an inoperable hole in it. A big one.

I hung it back in my closet. Why I am not sure. It felt too hard at 6am to part with it. So now I have an unwearable sweater hanging in my closet. That probably says something <em>awesome</em> about me especially if I was Freud and knew how to read these things.

Anyhow, I find myself surprised by how sad I was to see the hole. Because really, it's just a hole, in a sweater, a light gray one. One that, in fact, I was never 100% happy with because the sleeves never fit exactly how I thought they should. So when a sweater meets the end of it's regular life, most people wouldn't worry about it. Out with the old and in with the new.

And in my past life, in Washington DC,  it was always much more of: in with the new, in with the new, in with the new and out with a piece that I just don't love any more. It was out not because it was old, ripped, worn-out or otherwise damaged but because I just didn't feel like I wanted it any more. So I'd give it away or donate it to a local women's shelter.

My life abroad has forced me to pare back.

Today I have fewer clothes because I have what I need. I've been forced to pick what I actually use over what I want or desire. Sure I could buy more clothes, many more in fact, but I don't because anything I buy I'll have to move at some point.  I've downsized and I think that I am a better person for it. I try to buy only what I love <em>and</em> need.

Now I find myself short one sweater in the middle of winter. This is clearly not a void that I can escape from filling so I'll have to buy another.

All of this said, it' s nice the way that living abroad often challenges you to be a different (and maybe even better) person that you were at home. Even if it's just little things.