I had my first Bulgarian lesson of the new year today and I couldn't remember a damn thing.

<em>Awesome</em>.

Words kept coming to me in German. I knew they were German but then I couldn't for the life of me come up with the correct Bulgarian word. I just kept thinking how funny it was that German would come to me.

Needless to say, this didn't help the matter much.

So I floundered around for a 40 minute lesson.

At one point, I realized that I didn't know the word in Bulgarian for enough. In German, yes:  genug. But Bulgarian, I had no idea. So I asked. достатъчно﻿﻿ (which is something like dostatuchno).  This was too much for me.  I thought to myself: Really?! That's going to be a hard word to remember.  And for the record I had to look it up again when I got home because I'd forgotten it already. <em>Super</em>. Maybe it's jet-lag.

Or maybe I should study more and, um, actually memorize some words.

On my walk home today, I was considering this issue. I always tell myself I'll study a couple of hours a week. That I'll memorize all of my new words. Then I don't. It's not because I don't want to learn the language. I do. And I am actually getting better and better.

The thing is, when I was in high school and later in college I <em>had</em> to study. I <em>had</em> to memorize new vocabulary and grammar. There were no ifs, ands or buts about it. A chapter test, pop quizzes, quarter exams, papers and final exams didn't leave me with much of an option.

Grades motivated me. <em>A lot</em>.

I liked getting good grades. I like that these tests, quizzes and papers showed my progress. They were a sign of what I knew and showed me what I needed to work on.

These days however I am much more aware of what I don't know. Rather than what I do know. Moreover, the progress I am making is slow going. I could really use a few As and/or 6s rather than fumbling my way through my Bulgarian lessons. But, I guess that I could also stand to memorize a few more verbs, adjectives and nouns.