Here's the thing, I love to read. And I read a lot. Neither of these facts will probably surprise you.

This month, I'm supposed to be reading the novel <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch-22" target="_blank">Catch 22</a> for book club. However, I am having a really hard time getting into it. Now I've been known to go to book club without actually finishing the whole book. <em>Gasp</em>. Sometimes I have time management problems. Sometimes I just don't love the novel but mostly I read the books from start to finish each month. Sometimes I even finish them early.

The problem is that this time I've actually got to read this one because this month I am one of the two discussion leaders. As a discussion leader, you've really got to read the book. <em>Go figure</em>.

I knew I was in trouble when I thought: oh I've never read this book. It'll be good for me.

Then I started reading it and realized that at some point in my life I'd started the novel and then put it down. Never to pick it up again. The first chunk of the story is very familiar to me.

This second time around as I read I realized that I couldn't relate to the characters. I couldn't remember their names. And I didn't really care very much about their stories. That's not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. (At one point, I even wondered: is this how my students feel?!)

Recently instead of reading the novel, I decided to read about the book on wikipedia. (Right?! I should really suck it up and just read the novel but these things happen sometimes.) The only thing is that wikipedia didn't actually make me any more excited to read the novel.

Instead it just made me wonder: what's wrong with you, Carolyn, why can't you get into this book and the story?!

The interesting part is, if I was reading this book on my own I'd have started it and then promptly stopped reading it. It seems to me that there are too many good books in the world to spend your time reading one you're not actually that excited about. Only when it comes to book club, it's your duty to read the novel. To think about the book. To consider the characters. To examine the problems that they face and the choices that they make.

More often than not it is a pleasure to read for book club. I get to read books that I wouldn't normally select by myself and then talk about them and the ideas they explore with friends. Only reading<em> Catch 22</em> currently seems more like taking bitter medicine than anything else. I plug my nose, swallow and tell myself that it's good for me.  And again I find myself confronted with this problem: What's wrong with me?! Why can't I just like this book?!

Luckily a friend told me recently: don't worry, it gets better. I hope so. I certainly hope so.