I had my first Bulgarian lesson of the new year today and I couldn't remember a damn thing. Awesome.

Words kept coming to me in German. I knew they were German but then I couldn't for the life of me come up with the correct Bulgarian word. I just kept thinking how funny it was that German would come to me.

Needless to say, this didn't help the matter much.  So I floundered around for a 40 minute lesson.

Maybe I should study more and, um, actually memorize some words.

On my walk home today, I was considering this issue. I always tell myself I'll study a couple of hours a week. That I'll memorize all of my new words. Then I don't. It's not because I don't want to learn the language. I do. And I am actually getting better and better.

The thing is, when I was in high school and latter in college I <em>had</em> to study. I <em>had</em> to memorize new vocabulary and grammar. There were no ifs, ands or buts about it. A chapter test, pop quizzes, quarter exams, papers and final exams didn't leave me with much of an option.

Grades motivated me. <em>A lot</em>.

I liked getting good grades. I like that these tests, quizzes and papers showed my progress. They were a sign of what I knew and showed me what I needed to work on.

These days however I am much more aware of what I don't know. Rather than what I do know.

Moreover, the progress I am making is slow going. I could really use a few As or 6s rather than fumbling my way through my Bulgarian lessons. I could also stand to memorize a few more verbs, adjectives and nouns.