One Bitchin’ Story1512Babs, in general, is just a bitch…Queen Bitch to be exact.  My real name is BARB, which I’m told is simply an acronym for Big Angry Raging Bitch.  Well, I guess just because of my demeanor, I’ve attracted 4 others bitchy guys to be my teammates. So here’s a random story of Babs’ Bitches:1512One day the 5 bitches were riding up a long ass hill and they were all bitchin about something… my cranks are creaking, the altitude is killing me, stop kickin’ up so much dust, my ass hurts, F**@#%*!! baby-heads!  “Quit your bitchin’”, Bunny Bitch says, “and let’s get up this Bay Area Bunnyhill.”  Then Bab’s says to Her Bitch, her fiancé, “Get your butt up here in front of me so I can stare at your ass!”  Just then, Little Bitch starts wheezing and hacking, sputtering, then finally in exhaustion, he falls off his bike.  The rest of the bitches, showing their true colors, left him on the side of the trail to become vulture food.  A few minutes later, he finally comes-to, picks up his bike, and starts walking up the hill.  A few local biker chics come riding up the trail and encounter Little Bitch pushing his bike.  They say to him in taunting unison, “Hey Biker Boy – that bike’s too nice to be walkin’ it!”  This lit a fire in Little Bitch.  He jumped back on his bike, cranked it into the granny gear, and sped off chasing the local chics with a big smile on his face, his tongue hanging out and drool dripping on his handlebars.  Finally, Little Bitch catches up to Harry Bitch.  “So Harry Bitch, how’s your training been coming along?”  “Awe man – it’s been awesome!  You wouldn’t believe how many hot chics  I run into on the bike trail!  Literally, I was looking behind me at this girl’s ass as she rode by in the other direction, and then I looked forward again and crashed into this gorgeous rollerblader! After I helped her clean the blood off her knees, she gave me her phone number! Score!!”  “Dude, What the hell are you doing training for a 24Hr race on a F**@#%*!! paved bike path!!???”  “Priorities, man.  Priorities!”15