First real mountain bike ride: Slick Rock on a rigid Coyote with cam-over brakes.  Still not sure how I survived, it was close.
First real mountain bike: Used Malcolm Smith with Scott elastomer fork.  I had to take the fork apart periodically to sand the rust off the sliders to get it to move again.
Current mountain bike: Yeti 575.  Fits like a glove and makes me feel almost fast.
Current goal:  To survive the 24 hours of Moab without permanent injury to my body or psyche.