Born in the primordial swamps of the Atchafalaya, Jason Sager has emerged as a fairly average cyclist when compared to the world's best. Never one to rest on his past, he strips himself of all titles on the first day of each calendar year. With this, we tackle Moab.

Ranked as the 100 Best pro bike racer blog as rated by USA Today (http://jasonsager.com)

Was once banned in 50 states and Puerto Rico. That's a strong street cred. Props.

Ranked as the best pro bike racer/mortgage broker as rated by Newsweek by a group of his professional banking peers.

Fastest vegetarian Cajun bike racer of modern times. (1995-2007)

Honorary Puerto Rican, as designated by Aldy and Doel, who are authentic Puerto Ricans.