Herb has been an aspiring, but not so successful, bike racer for many years. At last years 24 hour race Herb completed 2 whole laps at a blistering mid pack pace. This was seemingly his best performance ever. However most of the credit for this goes to his good friend Ekim. Ekim, being the selfless friend he is, spent all season consuming nothing but beer and pizza and as much as he truly desired, refused to ride his bike at all. Then in a spectacular show of frienship he made a trip to Mexico to  engage in adult situations with the famous Donkey Show performer Catalina Francisca María Constanza just to contract his fat kankle infection. Why would anyone do this to themselves? Though Ekim tells a different story, it has been revealed that he did it Just to make Herb look fast! Even Lute pitched in by bringing not 1 but 2 women with him to the race insuring he would be to distracted and way to tired to preform at his best just to further the illusion that Herb was fast. When asked about this rare display of selflessness, Herb could only reply through his tears "Those 2 are truly the biggest dorks on wheels I know". What a very touching sentiment.


This year looks to be different though. Ekim, after a 6 month stint in China, has been all but cured of Venereal fat Kankle Disease. He has also cut his beer and pizza intake by 1/3rd and increased his ridding by 1/8th. In addition, Lute is only bringing one woman this year and looks to be in solid 2 lap shape. Its very obvious that Herb will not be able  to coast like he did last year. And of course the big story for the Dorks this year is the return of the legendary Mtn Biker and original DOW member, Skank. When asked about the return of the former team member Herb replied "It will be an honor to have my butt spanked  by such a phenomenal performer... on the trail, and in my tent" he also adds "I cant wait to see him is a pair of my riding chaps!"


Rumors of a heated competition between Herb and Skank have surfaced and are creating a great deal of controversy for this seasoned team. Ekim the team captain was quoted as saying "I cant wait to see the battle between Herb and Skankers!"
Herb adamantly denies any such rivalry, citing a recent Mountain Bike action article that state 26" wheels will never go as fast as 29's which proves that Herb will never beat Skank.