<p>If you represent a product that you think would be a good fit for me 
and my readers, go ahead and pitch me. I'll contact you if I'm 
interested. Please note that by agreeing to try out your product I'm not
 guaranteeing coverage - you are sending me the product as a sample for 
consideration.</p>

<p>If your client wants guaranteed coverage and/or to control the 
message, you are free to purchase display advertising on the sidebar or,
 better yet, you can hire me as a copywriter. Samples of my work are 
available upon request (and in the health and beauty section of your 
nearest pharmacy).</p>

<p><strong>WHAT I DON'T DO</strong><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br></span></p>

<p><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>As tempting as it is, I won't
 write for your site for free (or for exposure, or for fun). I will not 
reprint your press release or use a pre-written review. </p>

<p>(Seriously, people.)</p>

<p>I already volunteer to causes that are important to me. I simply 
can't donate my time and expertise to your paying clients, even if you 
ask nicely. </p>