<p>We&#39;re still renters.&#0160; Yes, we are aware that housing prices are going down - so much so that the desperation in realtor&#39;s eyes is making me feel sorry for them.</p>



<p>I kid!&#0160; Of course not!&#0160; Seller&#39;s agents are evil, everybody knows that.</p>

<p>But I&#39;m not going to discuss the ridiculousness of the Boston real estate market and the sorry state of most of the housing stock - especially in the &quot;desirable&quot; W towns.&#0160; Maybe another time.&#0160; Instead, I will tell you about how stupid it is to live right below your landlady.&#0160; Because it is all levels of stupid.&#0160; If there is one thing I want you to remember from this entry it is this:</p>

<p>BE YE NOT STUPID:&#0160; DON&#39;T RENT FROM AN OLD LADY AND DO <u>NOT</u> SHARE A HOUSE WITH HER.</p>

<p>Our landlady, a crochety 70 year-old woman who I&#39;ll call Vera, is crazy.&#0160; She talks to us as if we were her good-for-nothing children who won&#39;t move out of the house - despite the fact that we hand her a huge check every month.&#0160; She pleads poverty (did I mention the large sums of money she receives from us every month?) even as her 2 story apartment is getting remodeled.&#0160; Whenever we bring up issues with our apartment - the kind of things normal tenants talk to their landlords about - she tells us that her children wish they could live as well as us.&#0160; Mind you, her children are unemployed (by choice, I suspect), and we are not.&#0160; This is why we can afford to pay the rent, you see.&#0160; &#0160;(Am I bitter?&#0160; Well, yes, I am.)&#0160; Also, she knew that I was pregnant before I told her that I was.&#0160; I don&#39;t want to think about how she found out.&#0160; I pretend that she is psychic and leave it at that.<br /> </p>

<p>Vera does not have many friends, and her children stay the hell away from her.&#0160; This would be sad, except that she instead calls me for all sorts of crazy reasons, like asking me if I know whether she locked her front door. Or this:</p>



<p><em>Ring! Ring!</em></p>

<p><strong>Me:</strong>&#0160; <em>(After looking at caller ID and a long sigh)</em>&#0160; Hello, Vera.</p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; Oh, Hi.&#0160; It&#39;s Vera from upstairs.</p>

<p><strong>Me:</strong>&#0160; Yes.&#0160; I know.</p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; I&#39;m calling to see if you have any electric things running in your apartment.</p>

<p><strong>Me:</strong>&#0160; <em>(Huh?)</em>&#0160; Excuse me?</p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; I need to know if you have any electric things running in your apartment.</p>

<p><strong>Me:</strong>&#0160; You mean things that plug into the electric outlets?</p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; Yes.</p>

<p><strong>Me:</strong>&#0160; Of course I do.&#0160; Why?</p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; That explains it!&#0160; What do you have running?</p>

<p><strong>Me:</strong>&#0160; Vera?&#0160; What does <em>it</em> explain?</p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; There&#39;s a strange hissing sound in my apartment, and I believe it is caused by some electrical appliance in your apartment.&#0160; So what&#39;s running?</p>

<p><strong>Me:</strong>&#0160; <em>&#0160;</em>Vera.&#0160; We have all sorts of electrical things running in our apartment at any point in time.&#0160; The computer runs on electricity.&#0160; So does the fridge.&#0160; And the lightbulbs!&#0160; Why, this very phone works precisely because it is plugged into an electric socket!&#0160; I won&#39;t give you an inventory of all the electrical things we are using.&#0160; Use your imagination.</p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; <em>(Silence)</em></p>

<p><strong>Vera:</strong>&#0160; That reminds me...can I borrow a can opener?&#0160; I&#39;m having tuna fish for lunch.</p>

<p>Talk about a non-sequitur.&#0160; &#0160;</p>

<p>Seriously.&#0160; We pay for this.</p>
