<p>(No, it&#39;s not just you. I can&#39;t believe I just typed that either.)</p><p>I drive a pretty big car -- A Honda Pilot. </p><p>(OK, I guess it&#39;s an SUV.)</p><p>I hate driving big cars. I hate parking them. I hate filling them up with gas. However, I have a growing family -- one with a car-pooling preschooler, a cute toddler, and that will soon include a third child who needs to be in a car seat. Did I mention that we&#39;re tall people? We are. As much as I hate to admit it, I need a bigger car. </p><p>At this stage of the game, I&#39;m left with limited options. I could buy a crossover (with captain&#39;s chairs in the middle row so that we can actually reach the third row) or I could buy a minivan.</p><p>Just writing that makes me want to grab a gin martini and play some Nina Simone, but I can&#39;t do that because I&#39;m pregnant. So I sit here on a Boppy (for the sciatica) sipping my mango juice and humming &quot;Mysterious&quot; by The Backyardigans, writing about how I&#39;m too hip for a minivan, and yes, I do get the irony of the whole thing. </p><p>Anyways.</p><p>The only crossovers we could find were made by Chevy, GMC, and Buick. Notice a trend? Yes! They&#39;re all by General Motors! The company that&#39;s bankrupt for making unreliable cars? I&#39;ve always bought boring old Japanese cars, and I can honestly tell you that the only times I see a mechanic is when I take the cars in for oil changes -- every couple of years or so. (Shh!) I have no desire to start a relationship with a mechanic a this stage in my life, but because I have an open mind, we went to GM dealers to check the cars out.</p><p>Have you been inside a car dealership lately? It&#39;s very, very depressing. </p><p>However! The scruffy Chevy salesman still had the balls to tell me that the Chevy Traverse is a great &quot;girl car&quot; AND then he took my husband out back for a little talk, about what, I don&#39;t know. Probably about how &quot;girls&quot; aren&#39;t welcome at Chevy dealers? And, hey! Let&#39;s take a look at our shiny Camaros? My husband kept looking back at me nervously, because he knew I was pissed AND he knew that it was over. Because I&#39;m a mean &quot;girl.&quot;</p><p>Despite all of this, we went to a GMC/Buick dealer. The Buick Enclave is a pretty nice looking car. The GMC Acadia is exactly the same, but a little less attractive. I asked the salesman which one of the two models would survive GM&#39;s reorganization. </p><p>He didn&#39;t know.</p><p>I asked him if the Enclave came in Diamond White. </p><p>He said that all he has is the one they had in stock, take it or leave it. </p><p>I snorted. </p><p>He said he was serious, because the factories were shutting down for the summer. </p><p>And that was the end of that.</p><p>So! Off we went to minivan-land. I live in New England, so I have to have 4WD or I will not leave the house for six months. That leaves one choice: The Toyota Sienna.</p><p>We go to the &quot;largest Toyota dealer in New England!&quot; and tell them we want to test drive a Sienna. </p><p>He tells us we&#39;re out of luck. </p><p>Turns out, there&#39;s a waiting list to even buy a minivan. They&#39;re sold out until the fall. Let me repeat: MINIVANS ARE THE HOTTEST VEHICLE OUT THERE. You can wave all the cash you want in their faces, and they can&#39;t sell you one. </p><p>So I can&#39;t have one. And of course, that means that now I really want one. The sliding doors! The remote entry! The storage!</p><p>What has happened to me? Help me.</p>
