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<p>I used to be one of those obnoxious women who can eat anything they want and not gain weight.&#0160; I have no absolutely no athletic ability, yet I somehow managed to maintain my girlish figure.&#0160; Why am I telling you this?&#0160; Oh, I&#39;m not gloating.&#0160; There is no need to hate me.&#0160; Because apparently, I AM NOT THAT WOMAN ANYMORE.</p>

<p>Aaargh!</p>

<p>Yes, I gained 40 pounds during pregnancy, but it was mostly in the belly.&#0160; I thought it was kind of cute, even if it was in a freakish sort of way.&#0160; I didn&#39;t mind.&#0160; Then I had the baby, lost 22 lbs within a week, and my body went back to normal just like that.&#0160; In 6 months I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight.&#0160; Things may have shifted a bit, but basically I was back on track.&#0160; (Except for the evil stretch marks, but I won&#39;t bore you with that today.&#0160; But I will someday.&#0160; Yes, that&#39;s a threat.)&#0160; So I bought new, ridiculously expensive jeans (Sevens and Citizens of Humanity) to celebrate my curvier, yet still slim body.</p>

<p>My dirty little secret was that I still ate whatever I wanted, whenever.&#0160; And while I am a fan of Yoga and Pilates, once a week sessions can only do so much.&#0160; Really.&#0160; You need to get some cardio in there to burn fat.&#0160; But I didn&#39;t have to so I didn&#39;t.&#0160; </p>

<p>But apparently my super-efficient metabolism was an illusion.&#0160; The Boy stopped nursing a week ago.&#0160; That was also around the last time I wore my fancy jeans.&#0160; I tried to put them on yesterday morning, and to my horror they would not go past my newly huge hips.&#0160; </p>

<p>What?!</p>

<p>Is that even possible?&#0160; I wore those pants last week!&#0160; Maybe they had shrunk from the dryer?&#0160; I was too chicken to try another pair, so I put on some sweats and headed to the gym for a visit with my neglected friend - the eliptical trainer.&#0160; I have not been inside the gym since I posted about my yoga class... when was that?&#0160; 23 days ago.&#0160; Not good.</p>

<p>I got on the scale, and I could not believe my eyes.&#0160; I had gained 10 lbs.</p>

<p>10 POUNDS!&#0160; Basically in one week.</p>

<p>My only explanation is that nursing had kept my metabolism on its toes.&#0160; Now that I&#39;m not nursing anymore the old metabolism has decided to take a vacation.&#0160; Maybe forever.&#0160; &#0160;I&#39;m sad.&#0160; That means goodbye to my dear Mallomars and all that good stuff.&#0160; I won&#39;t renounce the pleasurable foods completely (I must have chocolate) but boringly, I must begin to practice moderation.&#0160; And I&#39;ve got to get to gym more than once a month.&#0160; How normal of me.&#0160; It&#39;s either that or my new, bigger ass.&#0160; &#0160;I can&#39;t afford to buy new jeans, so the ass has to go. </p>
