<p>My biggest fear when I became pregnant wasn&#39;t labor and delivery or even Becoming A Mother.&#0160; </p>

<p>I was afraid of one thing, and one thing alone:&#0160; Stretch marks.&#0160; </p>

<p>Despite months of slathering my stomach with Palmer&#39;s religiously and constantly smelling like a Hershey Bar, one morning, the morning that I was EXACTLY 36 weeks pregnant, I woke up to THEM.&#0160; The worst part is that none of my friends got stretch marks.&#0160; I repeat,
NONE OF MY FRIENDS got stretch marks.&#0160; I was starting to feel like a
freak or like I needed normal non-amazon friends -
until Katie came along.&#0160; (<a href="http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/6777255.html">Never in my life did I think I would have something in common with Katie Holmes</a>.&#0160; At least I&#39;m not married to Tom &quot;Looney&quot; Cruise, but dear Katie, I feel your pain.)&#0160; I sent this panicked email to my friend:</p><blockquote><p>Hey there...I just had to share something with you - not that it will make you feel better, but I know that you will understand.</p>

<p>Today is officially the 1st day of month 9 (36 weeks!) in two weeks I am officially full term.&#0160; So anyways, I get up and when I undress for my shower and to my horror there they were.&#0160; I officially have stretch marks!&#0160; Can you believe it!&#0160; I was in shock and could not stop staring at them.&#0160; And I was almost done!!!&#0160; And my stomach doesn&#39;t look any bigger!!&#0160; If anything it looks smaller.&#0160; Maybe it&#39;s because he dropped.</p>

<p>Now that I have calmed down a bit, I realize that they are not that bad - I&#39;ve seen worse.&#0160; Please, no pity.&#0160; And they are on the lower, lower part of the tummy - but I really thought I was going to get away with an easy, scar-free pregnancy.&#0160; I know it sounds vain and shallow, but its the truth.&#0160; Oh well.&#0160; I know I will get over it.&#0160; After all I have a very pointy belly.&#0160; Just wanted to let you know to show that we all have sacrifices to make for the joy of children...</p></blockquote><p>I sent off the email and cried.</p>

<p>Once I gave birth I realized that the stretch marks actually spread out over my entire non pregnant belly.&#0160; And that sucks.</p>

<p>Yes, my stomach looks like crepe paper.&#0160; I have craters the size the Grand Canyon crossing my midriff.&#0160; My bellybutton? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.&#0160; It looks like the mouth of an old woman puckering up for a kiss.</p>

<p>The worst part is that there is nothing that can be done about it.&#0160; I know that.&#0160; But still, I try.</p>

<p>First, the friend who I sent that email to was working at Estee Lauder and promptly hooked me up with the <a href="http://www.cremedelamer.com/templates/products/sp_nonshaded.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY5782&amp;PRODUCT_ID=PROD2467">Creme De La Mer Concentrate</a> ($325!!!!&#0160; Whaaaaa?).&#0160; I slathered it on it like butter on toast, all the time thinking &quot;these tiny drops would cost about $35 at retail,&quot; but still, I saw no difference.&#0160; So the moral of the story is - don&#39;t buy it for stretch marks.&#0160; (Although it makes my face glow!)</p>

<p>I went to the dermatologist and begged for help.&#0160; </p>

<p>ME:&#0160; &quot;Strivectin?&quot;&#0160; </p>

<p>DR. SKIN:&#0160; &quot;Won&#39;t help.&#0160; Save your money.&quot;</p>

<p>ME: &quot;What about Mederma?</p>

<p>DR. SKIN: &quot;HAHAHAHAHAH!&#0160; You&#39;re kidding, right?&quot;&#0160; (I swear, she laughed in my face.)</p>

<p>ME:&#0160; &quot;I will not stop until you give me something!&#0160; I NEED SOMETHING!&quot;</p>

<p>DR. SKIN:&#0160; &quot;You may want to try Olay Regenerist.&#0160; I&#39;m doing a study on it for stretch marks.&#0160; But you can&#39;t use it while your nursing.&#0160; Would you mind just using it on half your stomach to see if you it makes a visible difference?&quot;</p>

<p>ME: &quot;Half my stomach....HAHAHAHAHAHA&quot;</p>

<p>I nursed for a year.&#0160; I lived with the marks for a whole year before I did anything about them.&#0160; They faded somewhat on their own, but the skin texture was still crinkly.&#0160; So I finally bought some Regenerist at the drugstore, and wouldn&#39;t you know it?&#0160; After a month of using it they look better.&#0160; Really.&#0160; They&#39;re still there, and they will never go away, but some days I can look at my stomach and see an improvement.&#0160; The skin is, for lack of a better word, thicker.&#0160; </p>

<p>I love my dermatologist.&#0160; She saved me $100s!</p>

<p>So there you go.&#0160; My stretch mark helper.&#0160; Has anything helped your stretch marks?&#0160; Do share!</p>

<p><em>(By the way, I didn&#39;t receive any samples or ads or anything from P&amp;G.&#0160; I just wanted to share something that has helped me.&#0160; However, if anybody from P&amp;G is reading this - you can buy my love!&#0160; Send me some stuff!)</em></p>
