<p>I was surfing the Internet two weeks ago when I came across this website that reviews &quot;hidden gems&quot; in major cities.&#0160; Then I saw that they are looking for someone to write reviews on places in Boston.&#0160; And this is what went through my head:</p>

<p><em>OH.&#0160; MY.&#0160; GOD. </em> <br /><em>I live in Boston...I have opinions...I like to write them down...Hello?&#0160; Is it me you&#39;re looking for?</em></p>

<p>So I sat down at my computer this morning to write some sample reviews so I can introduce myself and beg them to let me in:</p>

<p>&quot;The best place for brunch in the entire universe just happens to be in Boston...&quot;*</p>

<p><em>Well...I don&#39;t really know for a fact that it is the best place in the <u>Universe</u> do I?&#0160; At least not the &quot;entire&quot; Universe?&#0160; </em></p>

<p>I hit &quot;delete&quot;.</p>

<p>&quot;My favorite place for brunch has a sophisticated European atmosphere but with an all-American lack of pretension - just like Boston...&quot;</p>

<p><em>Wow.&#0160; That comes across as pretentious doesn&#39;t it?&#0160; Maybe I should get back to it later.&#0160; Let me work on my bio.&#0160; Oh wait!&#0160; I think I have to submit a picture!&#0160; And all the other reviewers link back to their personal blogs.&#0160; I can&#39;t do that, can I?&#0160; I just wrote this post telling people that if there will be no pictures of me on the Housewife blog....I am such a hypocrite!&#0160; Just yesterday I was invited to join the &quot;Myself in the Mirror&quot; group at Flickr, and I RAN to take a picture of myself in the bathroom because the cool kids invited me to jump off the bridge with them.<br /><br />I wonder if anyone has seen it?</em></p>

<p>I click over to Flickr.</p>

<p><em>Ack!&#0160; I knew it!&#0160; I have ginormous hands!&#0160; I&#39;m a freak!&#0160; That girl in the comments agrees!&#0160; Maybe I should start a Flickr group for people with big....STOP IT!&#0160; Must...focus...</em></p>

<p>So I quit Firefox and focus on my open word document, all 20 words of it.</p>

<p><em>So if they take me, should I link to my blog or not?&#0160; Will I have to upgrade my Typepad account to handle the increase in traffic?&#0160; <br /><br />Traffic?&#0160; Will I have to start writing brilliant posts to please my new super huge fan base?&#0160; What if I lose my anonymity?&#0160; Will I have to build a huge security fence around my house like Dan Brown?&#0160; Or worse, could I get sued in England?&#0160; Shit.&#0160; Maybe Oprah will skewer me on her show because I may have my facts wrong on one of my personal posts.&#0160; I must remember to carry a pen and index card with me at all times so I don&#39;t forget things.<br /><br />But then, the publicity might get me a book deal.&#0160; Hmmm.&#0160; I guess I need a book first.&#0160; I wonder how far along <a href="http://www.girlsgonechild.blogspot.com/">GGC</a> is on her second Great American Novel.&#0160; Fuck.&#0160; I&#39;m still stuck at 4 pages.&#0160; She probably has at least 7 by now.<br /><br />Oh look!&#0160; An email!</em></p>

<p>&quot;Hi!&#0160; It&#39;s so nice out today, do you want to take the boys out for a walk?&#0160; Let me know, I was thinking of leaving in an hour.&quot;</p>

<p><em>An hour?&#0160; I haven&#39;t even showered yet!&#0160; Too bad:</em></p>

<p>&quot;Hey girl, I&#39;d love to but I have to get some writing done.&quot;</p>

<p><em>Ha ha.&#0160; Look at me!&#0160; I read the intro to The Artist&#39;s Way and I&#39;m already Too Busy Writing.&#0160; I&#39;m such a dork.&#0160; But it sounds better than saying &quot;I won&#39;t go out because I haven&#39;t showered yet and it&#39;s 2:30 in the afternoon&quot;.</em></p>

<p>So I hit &quot;send&quot;.</p>

<p>&quot;Writing?&#0160; Cool.&#0160; Let me know how it goes.&quot;</p>

<p><em>I guess it&#39;s official now.&#0160; I&#39;m a &quot;Writer&quot; because I said so.&#0160; I can&#39;t disappoint her.&#0160; Must get writing done.&#0160; I never said I was going to write anything good....&#0160; <br /><br />They did hand out the Pulitzer yesterday, didn&#39;t they?&#0160; Do they physically hand them out, like the Oscars?&#0160; Or do you just get a phone call?&#0160; I guess writers would prefer phone calls, wouldn&#39;t they?&#0160; I think I&#39;d rather have them give me a statue, even with my lumberjack hands...</em></p>

<p>Needless to say, I haven&#39;t accomplished anything.&#0160; If only there were awards for procrastination.</p>

<p>*Psst:&#0160; The best place for brunch in the Entire Universe just happens to be in Boston...and it is called <a href="http://www.beaconhillhotel.com/bistro.html">Beacon Hill Bistro</a>.</p>
