<p>Remember the days when I was <a href="http://diary.blogs.com/the_diary_of_a_reluctant_/2007/04/fear.html">afraid of going to the supermarket alone with the kids</a>?</p>

<p>I was so naive.</p>

<p>I just got back from a vacation where I traveled on a commercial flight with my two kids (ages 2 and 3 months) all by myself.&#0160; I believe I may deserve a medal.</p>

<p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/22/weekinreview/22sharkey.html?ex=1342756800&amp;en=2efa7ab301ede121&amp;ei=5124&amp;partner=permalink&amp;exprod=permalink">I knew sadistic flight attendants and cruel airport screeners had it in for poor mothers traveling alone.</a>&#0160; Here are my tips for surviving if such a journey is in your future.</p>

<p><strong>1.&#0160; Pack Well</strong></p>

<p>Your carry-on bag is your friend.&#0160; It needs to make you self-sufficient while being lightweight.&#0160; This means you need to pack more diapers than you think you need.&#0160; (I pack one per hour of travel, including waiting time at the airport.)&#0160; This also means you need to pack every snack known to man (what if you get stuck on the tarmac for 10 hours?) but that it can&#39;t contain any fluid or have the word &quot;paste&quot; on the packaging.&#0160; The people at the security checkpoint are crazy - do not expect them to have any common sense whatsoever.&#0160; Once, they made my husband throw away some toothpaste because &quot;regulations don&#39;t allow you to carry more than 3 oz of paste on board.&quot;</p>

<p>&quot;There&#39;s enough toothpaste in that container for 2 toothbrushes.&#0160; That&#39;s much less than 3 oz.&quot;</p>

<p>&quot;But it says 8 oz on the tube.&#0160; That&#39;s more than 3 oz.&quot;</p>

<p>Don&#39;t even try to argue with that logic because it can get you arrested.<br /> </p>

<p><strong>2.&#0160; Security Checkpoints - Where Toddlers are Public Enemy #1</strong></p>

<p>Remember that you are traveling with children - the biggest threat to the flying public after kindly old grandmothers.&#0160; That&#39;s why you only see old ladies and moms going through the &quot;random&quot; secondary screening.&#0160; It&#39;s also why the guy that stands at the metal detector will make you take your sleeping 3 month-old out of his stroller.&#0160; He will watch as you struggle to fold it while holding said infant.&#0160; He will stand by while a kind stranger folds the stroller for you and hurts his shoulder putting your huge carry on on the x-ray machine&#39;s conveyor belt.&#0160; He will not tell you that your toddler is wandering away.&#0160; And once you try to go through the metal detector, tickets and IDs in one hand, grumpy 3 month-old hanging precariously on the other, he will smile, point at your toddler and say &quot;You have to take off his shoes.&quot;</p>

<p>Yes, he could have told you this BEFORE you took the infant out of his stroller.&#0160; Yes, he did this on purpose.&#0160; Fight the urge to kick him. They live for this shit.&#0160; </p>

<p>Instead, someone with some common sense (i.e. not a TSA employee) will get on her hands and knees and take off your kid&#39;s rubber sandals for you.&#0160; </p>

<p>Modern-day air travel requires you to check your dignity with your luggage.&#0160; Keep calm and carry on. </p>

<p><strong>3.&#0160; Get Thee To The Gate</strong></p>

<p>Do not purchase any magazines or entertainment for yourself.&#0160; You will not have the time.&#0160; Get yourself to the gate, but stop at the restrooms and the food court before hand.&#0160; Take the food with you to the gate.&#0160; Ask the gate agent if they could kindly seat you in a row with an empty seat.&#0160; He will give you a sob story about how the flight is full.&#0160; Sigh heavily.&#0160; Traveling sucks.</p>

<p><strong>4.&#0160; Feed The Kids</strong></p>

<p>Do this at the gate so your fellow passengers see that while you&#39;re crazy enough to travel alone with two children, you are not stupid enough to do it with hungry ones.</p>

<p>(To Be Continued...)<br /> </p>
