<p>I finally got a call back from my sister.  I ask her where she is.  “South Carolina” she says, almost giddily.  </p>

<p>“What’s going on?”  I can hear my father in the background.  It’s loud and happy wherever it is that they are.</p>

<p>“It’s RR&#39;s graduation.  From the Marines.”  Oops.  “He looks so good.  He is the only one in his platoon wearing the dress blues and he has so many medals and everything!”  I don’t remember my sister being so proud when she attended my MBA graduation.  “Yes, I’ll let him know you want to speak to him”  she says, and although I am panicking a little, I am thankful for her white lie.</p>

<p>What do you say to a Marine?  I can’t relate to his choice.</p>

<p>I barely know my cousin.  Even when we lived in the same city, we rarely spoke.  My aunt is a single mother who works two jobs and is raising her two boys on her own.  She always looks weary, yet is always ready with a smile.  Whenever we got together for Christmas or birthdays, it was always painfully obvious that they are poorer than us.  And it made me uncomfortable.  Still does.  I’m sure it made my cousins uncomfortable as well, since they never made an effort to get to know me either.  We just live in different worlds, even though we share the same blood.</p>

<p>“Hello.”</p>

<p>“Hi RR!  Congratulations, we just wanted to call and congratulate you on your special day,”  I say, a little too loudly and a little too quickly.  I feel like such a fake.</p>

<p>“Thanks, Ma’am.”  He sounds like he was born and raised in South Carolina.  I am a little sick to my stomach, as I realize that I have NEVER spoken on the phone with my cousin.</p>

<p>“I hear you did very well...”</p>

<p>“Top of the class, Ma’am.  Top of the class.”  Ma’am?  It sounds like a joke, but it is not.  He sounds like he means it.  This is my cousin?  What have they done to him?  I haven’t decided if this is good or bad.  He sounds so, formal and distant and strangely relieved.</p>

<p>“Wow.  Well, The Baby and I and The Husband are very proud of you.&quot;  Silence.  &quot;Now you go and celebrate.  I can hear everybody in the background.”  </p>

<p>“Thanks, we will.”</p>

<p>I know I should talk to my aunt.  But I can’t.</p>

<p>“Could you put my sister back on?”</p>

<p>“Sure thing.  Bye.”</p>

<p>“Bye.  Thanks.”  My sister gets on the phone.  She is giggling.  I am so sad that I can’t be there with them at that moment.  I think of how nice and sunny it must be in South Carolina.  I want to see my grandmother, how proud she must be.  I want to see my family happy.  My cousins have not a had a happy life, I think.  And I am truly happy for them.  I wish I could be there.</p>

<p>“Sis, what does my nephew want for Christmas?”  What a stupid thing to say.  I don’t want to spoil their moment.  “Never mind, I can figure it out.  You go and have fun.  Give a kiss to everybody for me.”</p>

<p>“Will do. Bye.”  </p>

<p>I hang up and think of my aunt and what she must be feeling.  The mixture of pride and fear and anger.  I know she is angry as well.  I try to imagine the look in her eyes, but it is too much for me.  </p>

<p>So I take my baby and I hold him tight.  It’s time for his nap, but I won’t let go.</p>

<p><a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Family" rel="tag">Family</a></p>
