<p>You know the AirMall catalog you get on American Airlines flights?&#0160; The one you look at when you&#39;re bored to tears and you realize you&#39;ve only been on the plane for 20 minutes?&#0160; The one with the crazy products that nobody needs but which are good for a laugh?&#0160; That&#39;s how I feel about the One Step Ahead catalog I started receiving the second the testing stick said I was pregnant.</p>

<p>I mean, come on!&#0160; Who really buys this stuff?&#0160; <a href="http://www.onestepahead.com/product/85216/150779/117.html">Knee protectors</a> for crawling babies?&#0160; <a href="http://www.onestepahead.com/product/86203/1040/117.html">Toilet locks</a>?&#0160; <a href="http://www.onestepahead.com/product/85206/303755/117.html">Cooling dishes</a>?&#0160; A <a href="http://www.onestepahead.com/product/86197/148756/117.html">helmet</a>?&#0160; Don&#39;t get me wrong, I take childproofing seriously.&#0160; I made my husband bolt all of our bookshelves to the wall (take that, evil landlady!), we&#39;ve plugged all the outlets, and most importantly, I&#39;m slowly going crazy because I attempt to keep an eye on my son at all times.&#0160; I&#39;m not exactly the most relaxed mom out there, but I think that a lot of these products take paranoia to new levels.</p>

<p>So I look through the catalog merely out of curiousity and so I can laugh at truly paranoid parents.&#0160; Ha ha ha!&#0160; I&#39;m so much better than you!</p>

<p>Well,&#0160; I think I may have to apologize to all you baby-proofing crazy parents out there.&#0160; BECAUSE my darling lovely boy has a new habit that is forcing me to swallow my pride and place an order for what I thought was one of the stupidest items out there.&#0160; Don&#39;t worry, he&#39;s perfectly safe.&#0160; I think.</p>

<p>I was in the bathroom, washing my hands in the sink when I turned around and caught my son sticking his hand in the toilet.&#0160; And licking the water off his fingers.&#0160; And liking it. </p>

<p>Grossed out yet?&#0160; Just wait, that&#39;s not the part that makes me sick.</p>

<p>It was a public toilet.&#0160; At Miami International Airport.</p>

<p>Let the toilet locking begin.</p>
