My original plan was to show up at an Irish local pub at 7 a.m. for their advertised "authentic Irish breakfast". 

I've never eaten an authentic Irish breakfast before.  I've had Irish breakfast <em>tea</em>.  But that doesn't count. 

I can't even tell you what comprises as Irish breakfast.  I did not google it, because if it contains anything disgusting, I would have talked myself out of it.  And I wanted the experience of an authentic Irish breakfast.  Whatever the heck