(8149,1,'2011-11-02 20:49:37','2011-11-03 03:49:37','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <em>E! News</em>.  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWe won \"Most Innovative\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reportedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week . . . .','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-5','','','2011-11-02 20:49:37','2011-11-03 03:49:37','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(8150,1,'2011-11-02 20:51:27','2011-11-03 03:51:27','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <em>E! News</em>.  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWe won \"Most Innovative\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reportedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week . . . .','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-6','','','2011-11-02 20:51:27','2011-11-03 03:51:27','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(8151,1,'2011-11-02 20:53:46','2011-11-03 03:53:46','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <em>E! News</em>.  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reportedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week . . . .','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-7','','','2011-11-02 20:53:46','2011-11-03 03:53:46','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-7/',0,'revision','',0),(8152,1,'2011-11-02 20:55:22','2011-11-03 03:55:22','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <em>E! News</em>.  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reputedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week . . . .','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-8','','','2011-11-02 20:55:22','2011-11-03 03:55:22','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(8153,1,'2011-11-03 09:01:26','2011-11-03 16:01:26','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <strong><a href=\"http://www.eonline.com/e/enews/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>E! News</em>.</a></strong>  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs for the next week . . . .\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reputedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\n\n&nbsp;','One more week!  (And Halloween Modern Family Style.)','','inherit','open','open','','8143-autosave','','','2011-11-03 09:01:26','2011-11-03 16:01:26','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(8154,1,'2011-11-02 20:58:34','2011-11-03 03:58:34','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <em>E! News</em>.  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reputedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week . . . .','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-9','','','2011-11-02 20:58:34','2011-11-03 03:58:34','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-9/',0,'revision','',0),(8155,1,'2011-11-02 21:02:15','2011-11-03 04:02:15','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <strong><a href=\"http://www.eonline.com/e/enews/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>E! News</em>.</a></strong>  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reputedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week . . . .','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-10','','','2011-11-02 21:02:15','2011-11-03 04:02:15','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-10/',0,'revision','',0),(8156,1,'2011-11-02 21:07:42','2011-11-03 04:07:42','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <strong><a href=\"http://www.eonline.com/e/enews/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>E! News</em>.</a></strong>  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reputedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week . . . . (And Halloween Modern Family Style)','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-11','','','2011-11-02 21:07:42','2011-11-03 04:07:42','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-11/',0,'revision','',0),(8160,1,'2011-11-15 20:52:26','2011-11-16 03:52:26','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Corinniecakes:  Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Me:  The Pan???</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range, previously livin\' the high life Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','publish','open','open','','guess-whos-coming-to-dinner','','','2011-11-15 21:20:10','2011-11-16 04:20:10','',0,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/?p=8160',0,'post','',22),(8158,1,'2011-11-02 21:08:31','2011-11-03 04:08:31','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <strong><a href=\"http://www.eonline.com/e/enews/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>E! News</em>.</a></strong>  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reputedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week!  (And Halloween Modern Family Style.)','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-12','','','2011-11-02 21:08:31','2011-11-03 04:08:31','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/02/8143-revision-12/',0,'revision','',0),(8159,1,'2011-11-03 09:01:32','2011-11-03 16:01:32','[caption id=\"attachment_8144\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Halloween 2011 at Noble Publishing Superpower **\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8144\" title=\"104\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/104.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nI\'m currently on a blog vacation.  After the intensity of a 365 project, I thought 2 weeks to veg sounded like a swell idea.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter the intensity of a 365 Living Curiously project, veg-ing is overrated.  I\'m a bit . . . . bored.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'m not the kind of person who does well with time on her hands.  I like projects.  Without a project, I resort to mind-numbing activities such as watching too many DVR\'d episodes of <em>Real Housewives</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast night, in my greatest moment of shame yet, I found myself glued to <strong><a href=\"http://www.eonline.com/e/enews/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>E! News</em>.</a></strong>  Unfortunately, I am not making this up for comedic value.  I really am <em>that pathetic</em>.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>So....one more week to go!  Yay!  I\'ll be back with Lost Footage from the Late Bloomer Vaults as well as a few Real Time Surprises through 2011.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>On January 1, 2012 we will launch into Chapter Two:  The Year of . . . . (Shhhhh....It\'s a secret for now!)</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFor those of you interested in joining my Wishing Club* aka a book club focused on the book <em>The Wishing Year</em>, I have started a discussion board on the Diary of a Late Bloomer facebook page.  As <a href=\"http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/coffee-talk/275019/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Linda Richman</strong> </a>would say, \"Discuss!\"  (Go <strong><a href=\"http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=155985501079157&amp;topic=376\" target=\"_blank\">here </a></strong>to do just that.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for the next week . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs God is my witness, I will never watch <em>E! News</em> again!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* You can read more about the Wishing Club<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/25/day-364-would-you-like-to-join-my-wishing-club/\" target=\"_blank\"> here.</a></strong>  For now, just start reading the book, Cupcake.  We\'re reading from now through December 10th-ish.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n** Before I found myself swimming in the <em>E! News</em> gutter, I used my brain cells to contrive a cerebral Halloween team costume idea for the Halloween Party over at Noble Publishing Superpower.  The costume?  Henry VIII and His 6 Wives.  (#6 is not pictured above because she had to leave early.  She chose her unbelievably adorable newborn bundle of joy over us.  Go figure!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800080;\"><strong>We won \"Most Innovative\".</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never seen the show <em>Modern Family</em>, but I was told that our little office episode was something right out of this reputedly smart and clever show.  Perhaps I could watch this week in an attempt to restore the brain cells lost during <em>E! News.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI cannot take full credit for this unique costuming idea which <em>I am sure</em> will be all the rage next Halloween.  It takes a village -- or a few colleagues -- to dream up an idea this \"innovative\".  A shout out to Mr. Now-Not-So-New Male Team Member and Megan, as well as to my other teammates who always humor me by playing along on bloggy days and beyond.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','One more week!  (And Halloween Modern Family Style.)','','inherit','open','open','','8143-revision-13','','','2011-11-03 09:01:32','2011-11-03 16:01:32','',8143,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/03/8143-revision-13/',0,'revision','',0),(8161,1,'2011-11-15 20:02:27','2011-11-16 03:02:27','Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been with my family where my mother does all the cooking.  (Sorry, Mom!)  Since I\'ve lived in Phoenixwith Kimmeee (where she cooks the bird and mashed taters while I contribute the homemade pumpkin pie with fresh whipped cream,\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Mom &amp; Cooleenie:  \"Turkey breast.  It\'s more than enough for the meal and leftovers, it\'s easier, it\'s quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Dina <em>Dah</em>ling &amp; Corinniecakes:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my self-talk is not so nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you -- her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thang.\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, and works full time?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes:  Dahling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision','','','2011-11-15 20:02:27','2011-11-16 03:02:27','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(8162,1,'2011-11-15 20:05:31','2011-11-16 03:05:31','Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been with my family where my mother does all the cooking.  (Sorry, Mom!)  Since I\'ve lived in Phoenixwith Kimmeee (where she cooks the bird and mashed taters while I contribute the homemade pumpkin pie with fresh whipped cream,\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Mom &amp; Cooleenie:  \"Turkey breast.  It\'s more than enough for the meal and leftovers, it\'s easier, it\'s quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Dina <em>Dah</em>ling &amp; Corinniecakes:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my self-talk is not so nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you -- her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thang.\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, and works full time?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-2','','','2011-11-15 20:05:31','2011-11-16 03:05:31','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(8163,1,'2011-11-15 20:14:32','2011-11-16 03:14:32','Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been with my family where my mother does all the cooking.  (Sorry, Mom!)  Since I\'ve lived in Phoenixwith Kimmeee (where she cooks the bird and mashed taters while I contribute the homemade pumpkin pie with fresh whipped cream,\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  It\'s more than enough for the meal and leftovers, it\'s easier, it\'s quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my self-talk is not so nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you -- her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thang.\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, and works full time?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  25 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUgh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for 25 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina Dahling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-3','','','2011-11-15 20:14:32','2011-11-16 03:14:32','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(8164,1,'2011-11-15 20:25:32','2011-11-16 03:25:32','Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  It\'s more than enough for the meal and leftovers, it\'s easier, it\'s quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thang.\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, and works full time?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  25 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUgh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for 25 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and cooking mojo.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-4','','','2011-11-15 20:25:32','2011-11-16 03:25:32','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(8165,1,'2011-11-15 20:37:11','2011-11-16 03:37:11','Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  25 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for 25 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-5','','','2011-11-15 20:37:11','2011-11-16 03:37:11','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(8166,1,'2011-11-15 20:39:11','2011-11-16 03:39:11','Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-6','','','2011-11-15 20:39:11','2011-11-16 03:39:11','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(8167,1,'2011-11-15 20:39:48','2011-11-16 03:39:48','','688914','\"The Pan\"','inherit','open','open','','688914','','','2011-11-15 20:39:48','2011-11-16 03:39:48','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(8168,1,'2011-11-15 20:39:18','2011-11-16 03:39:18','Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nvs.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-7','','','2011-11-15 20:39:18','2011-11-16 03:39:18','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-7/',0,'revision','',0),(8169,1,'2011-11-15 20:41:11','2011-11-16 03:41:11','<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\" /></a>Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-8','','','2011-11-15 20:41:11','2011-11-16 03:41:11','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(8170,1,'2011-11-15 20:42:39','2011-11-16 03:42:39','<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nvs.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-9','','','2011-11-15 20:42:39','2011-11-16 03:42:39','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-9/',0,'revision','',0),(8171,1,'2011-11-15 20:42:57','2011-11-16 03:42:57','<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nvs.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-10','','','2011-11-15 20:42:57','2011-11-16 03:42:57','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-10/',0,'revision','',0),(8172,1,'2011-11-15 20:44:33','2011-11-16 03:44:33','<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nvs.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-11','','','2011-11-15 20:44:33','2011-11-16 03:44:33','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-11/',0,'revision','',0),(8173,1,'2011-11-15 20:46:05','2011-11-16 03:46:05','<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-12','','','2011-11-15 20:46:05','2011-11-16 03:46:05','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-12/',0,'revision','',0),(8174,1,'2011-11-15 20:47:42','2011-11-16 03:47:42','<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-13','','','2011-11-15 20:47:42','2011-11-16 03:47:42','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-13/',0,'revision','',0),(8175,1,'2011-11-15 20:51:13','2011-11-16 03:51:13','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-14','','','2011-11-15 20:51:13','2011-11-16 03:51:13','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-14/',0,'revision','',0),(8176,1,'2011-11-15 20:52:03','2011-11-16 03:52:03','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-15','','','2011-11-15 20:52:03','2011-11-16 03:52:03','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-15/',0,'revision','',0),(8177,1,'2011-11-15 21:20:26','2011-11-16 04:20:26','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s him.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, it\'s REAL!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Corinniecakes:  Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Me:  The Pan???</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUh-oh.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range, previously livin\' the high life Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**********\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhose camp are you on?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\n\n&nbsp;\n\nor\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\n\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-autosave','','','2011-11-15 21:20:26','2011-11-16 04:20:26','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-autosave/',0,'revision','',0),(8178,1,'2011-11-15 20:52:26','2011-11-16 03:52:26','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-16','','','2011-11-15 20:52:26','2011-11-16 03:52:26','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-16/',0,'revision','',0),(8179,1,'2011-11-15 20:57:47','2011-11-16 03:57:47','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs for me, spoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-17','','','2011-11-15 20:57:47','2011-11-16 03:57:47','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-17/',0,'revision','',0),(8180,1,'2011-11-15 20:58:38','2011-11-16 03:58:38','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-18','','','2011-11-15 20:58:38','2011-11-16 03:58:38','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-18/',0,'revision','',0),(8181,1,'2011-11-15 21:00:52','2011-11-16 04:00:52','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-19','','','2011-11-15 21:00:52','2011-11-16 04:00:52','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-19/',0,'revision','',0),(8182,1,'2011-11-15 21:01:41','2011-11-16 04:01:41','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-20','','','2011-11-15 21:01:41','2011-11-16 04:01:41','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-20/',0,'revision','',0),(8183,1,'2011-11-15 21:03:33','2011-11-16 04:03:33','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-21','','','2011-11-15 21:03:33','2011-11-16 04:03:33','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-21/',0,'revision','',0),(8184,1,'2011-11-15 21:10:44','2011-11-16 04:10:44','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Corinniecakes:</span>  Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.</span></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Me:</span>  The Pan???</span></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-22','','','2011-11-15 21:10:44','2011-11-16 04:10:44','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-22/',0,'revision','',0),(8185,1,'2011-11-15 21:11:44','2011-11-16 04:11:44','[caption id=\"attachment_8167\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"&quot;The Pan&quot;\"]<a href=\"http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8167\" title=\"688914\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nThanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nRemember the Love Letter from <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/\" target=\"_blank\">Day 365</a></strong>?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s him.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn fact, I\'m going to pinch myself again right now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYes, it\'s REAL!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSpoiled Thanksgiving brat that I am, I have never cooked a turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the thought of it makes me want to run out to Whole Paycheck for a precooked bird.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCurrently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:</span></strong>  \"Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it\'s also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway.\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>vs.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:</strong></span>  \"It\'s THANKSGIVING!  He\'s never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What\'s the matter with you?!?!\"\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nO.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say \"What\'s the matter with you?!?!\", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I\'ve been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nToday in Cooleenie\'s cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes\' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI wish I could recount Corinniecakes\' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I\'m stumped.  I remember something about \"searing\" and \"turning the bird over so that the juices settle\" so that \"you\'ll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOther than that, I can\'t tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn\'t stop me from panicking and obsessing over....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You\'ll get a small bird.  It will be fine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray\'s \"Stuffin\' Muffins\".  They take a lot of preparation though.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Corinniecakes:  Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Me:  The Pan???</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a \"V\".)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomething about \"the juices\" again.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI have no earthly idea what she is talking about.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nShe sits down at her computer and types away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here\'s one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUh-oh.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let\'s try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn\'t I?</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you\'ll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you\'ll prepare with this pan!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSomehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes\' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 36 bucks ever spent.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhose camp are you on?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nor\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I\'m taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.</span></strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Guess Who\'s Coming to Dinner?','','inherit','open','open','','8160-revision-23','','','2011-11-15 21:11:44','2011-11-16 04:11:44','',8160,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/8160-revision-23/',0,'revision','',0),(8346,1,'2011-12-13 21:23:01','2011-12-14 04:23:01','<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/olympus-digital-camera-662/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8451\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-8451\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PC1200281-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>I\'ve never been showered with gifts by a man.  Ever.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWell...I suppose that\'s not entirely true.  My father has always been extraordinarily generous.  And so has my uncle.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYou get my gist.  It\'s a bit on the pathetic side.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI\'ve never brooded about my fate because I\'m not someone who wants lots of things.  Just this past week, my mom put pressure on me for my Christmas Wish List for <em>days</em>.  I couldn\'t think of anything.  I called my sister for ideas.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  What did you tell mom you wanted for Christmas?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Sis:</strong>  Nothing.  I couldn\'t think of anything.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI finally wrote a list of four things:  another pair of my favorite Gap PJs (they\'re the most comfy I\'ve ever worn!), a book, and I honestly can\'t remember the other two.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSee what I mean?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo....in my past, when the romantic interests of my life failed to lavish me with gifts, I didn\'t think about it.  Too much.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #ff0000;\"><strong>Although perhaps these romantic interests should have thought about it a little more. Because all women enjoy gifts of \"just because\" every now and then.  It\'s not the<em> things </em>that make us feel special.  It\'s the <em>thoughtfulness</em>.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThis is one of many attributes that I adore about my Man from a Land Far, Far Away.  He\'s thoughtful.  About many, many things.  Including showering me with gifties almost immediately upon arrival during his recent Thanksgiving visit.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAfter 25+ hours from doorstep to doorstep, I was concerned about the welfare and physical state of my Man from Far, Far Away.*\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nDid he sleep?  No.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nDid his 6\'2\" frame lock up from sardine-like conditions for ungodly amounts of time?  Si.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nDid he eat?  Sort of.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #ff0000;\"><strong>We all know airline food is crap, but how does a man from a culinary culture survive for 25+ hours without cheese, pasta, gelato and espresso???  Wings and a beer in Philly!  That\'s how!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI had a cheese plate with a smorgasbord of Italian meats ready to eat in the car.  He opted to wait for home.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOnce home, I insisted that he \"mangia mangia\"!  He asked me to wait a few minutes as he plunged into his suitcase.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nHe ignored his growling belly and sore, sleep-deprived body while hauling out numerous gifties.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt wasn\'t my birthday.  It wasn\'t Christmas.  It was \"just because\".\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSigh...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #ff0000;\"><strong>I\'m not sure who was more elated, me or my Man from Far, Far Away.  It may not have been Christmas, but he acted like a kid on Christmas morning.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy first giftie (pictured above) was made especially for me.  How incredibly sweet is that???  I sense that all women reading this blog are letting out a collective \"Awwwwww!!!\" right about now.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt gets sweeter.  The apron -- with our shared motto of \"Carpe Diem\" -- was custom-made 50 feet from Juliet\'s balcony.  Yes, girls, I\'m talking about <em>that</em> Juliet.  From Verona.  Could you die?!?!?!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAwwwwww...\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIf you\'d like to visit the website of where the apron was made, please <strong><a href=\"http://ricamiverona.it/punto_vendita.php\" target=\"_blank\">click here.</a></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe next gift was for the woman who craves espresso nearly as much as the Italians.  As my Man from Far, Far Away describes it, this mini chocolate filled with caffeinated bliss is the perfect afternoon pick-me-up.  Now that I\'ve tried it, I agree.  Buonissimo!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<img class=\"size-medium wp-image-8383 alignnone\" style=\"border-style: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: 0px;\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PC1200341-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" />\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI was thrilled with the apron and the chocolates, but apparently there was more!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nA glass carafe just like the ones I drank water and wine from during my visit to Italia!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/olympus-digital-camera-664/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8388\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-8388 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PC120035-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n2 liters (yes, LITERS!) of fresh pressed olive oil from <a href=\"http://www.fontedifoiano.it/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>the olive oil mill that makes not only the best olive oil, but the best Tuscan soup on Earth.</strong> </a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI am also the recipient of a cute wee can in which to store the olive oil!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/olympus-digital-camera-665/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8389\"><img class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-8389\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB180020-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #808000;\"><strong>And now for a brief rewind to 3 months ago...</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_8390\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"300\" caption=\"9-23-11: Lost in Amsterdam. But guess what? I now have more olive oil than I can handle! Terrorists, you can kiss my olive-oiled grits!\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/img00614-20110921-1017/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8390\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-8390  \" title=\"IMG00614-20110921-1017\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/IMG00614-20110921-1017-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nTake<em> THAT,</em> terrorists!  I may have been <a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/17/day-359-when-in-rome-eat-french-fries-with-mayo/\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>too sleep-deprived and hungover</strong> </a>to remember to transfer my olive oil from my carryon to my checked baggage in Rome which resulted in the confiscation of my olive oil in Amsterdam!  But we lovers of freedom take care of one another, and now I have two liters!  TWO LITERS!!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #808000;\"><strong>Back to the Thanksgiving visit...</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhat else did my thoughtful man from far, far away bring?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOlive oil needs a canvas.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_8397\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Yes, it tastes better than any imports I&#39;ve purchased at Whole Paycheck.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/olympus-digital-camera-668/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8397\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-8397\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PC130007-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd pasta needs seasoning.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_8393\" align=\"alignnone\" width=\"300\" caption=\"What he calls &quot;Magic Powder&quot;. It is, in fact, so magical that I&#39;m currently addicted to it. I&#39;ve had pasta almost every night since he&#39;s left. I better stop that pronto.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/olympus-digital-camera-666/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8393\"><img class=\"size-medium wp-image-8393 \" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PC120038-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAnd the his inner techie/Mac Worshipper couldn\'t resist treating me to Apple TV.  (The actual \"TV\" is the streaming device, not the flat screen.  Mom and others who have been wondering, \"What the heck is Apple TV?\" go <strong><a href=\"http://www.apple.com/appletv/\" target=\"_blank\">here</a></strong>.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<img class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-8394\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PC120040-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" />\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNow he tells me that there\'s absolutely no reason why I shouldn\'t cut my cable like I\'ve been threatening to do for eons.  EEEeeeekkk!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt will be good for me.  I know it.  Has anyone else out there cut the cord?  I mean, cut the cable?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhat else . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOh, yes.  What Italian would show up without wine?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/olympus-digital-camera-669/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8398\"><img class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-8398\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400281-224x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"224\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI saved the best for last.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/13/gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away/olympus-digital-camera-670/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-8399\"><img class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-8399\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PC130008-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nYou\'re probably wondering what could possibly top the apron from Verona?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOne week before his arrival, my Man from Far, Far away sent me The Most Special Gift of My Life via snail mail.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhen I opened it, I thought it was a homemade CD of Italian music.  I popped it into my computer to find a DVD with eye-catching graphics entitled \"Our Carpe Diem Wish List\".  I gasped out loud upon my discovery.  Each chapter included slideshows (set to Italian or French music) of his own photos from places he would like to share with me and Carpe Diem together:  Toscana, Corsica, Les Trois Vallees, Torino, Venezia and Cinque Terre.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI may have waited a looooonnnnng time for a man to bestow gifts upon me, but it was more than worth the wait.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n**********\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n* I\'ve decided that my Man from a Land Far, Far Away needs a new nickname.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFirstly, it\'s too long to write out every time.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSecondly, you\'ve probably surmised from very obvious clues that he\'s from Italy, so I\'m not sure why I\'m still using the oh-so-dramatic-and-romantic \"Land from Far, Far Away\" reference.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI will consult the source and ask if he would like to christen himself with a new nickname.  You may also take a shot at it in the comments section below.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Gifts from My Man from Far, Far Away','','publish','open','open','','gifts-from-my-man-from-far-far-away','','\nhttp://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/17/day-359-when-in-rome-eat-french-fries-with-mayo/','2011-12-14 08:51:24','2011-12-14 15:51:24','',0,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/?p=8346',0,'post','',11),(8364,1,'2011-12-08 21:02:54','2011-12-09 04:02:54','[contact-form 2 \"Talk To Me\"]\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n[contact-form-7 id=\"7617\" title=\"Talk To Me\"]','talk to me','','inherit','open','open','','105-revision-7','','','2011-12-08 21:02:54','2011-12-09 04:02:54','',105,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/08/105-revision-7/',0,'revision','',0),(8188,1,'2011-12-04 20:09:23','2011-12-05 03:09:23','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #800000;\">Camp Turkey Breast:</span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #808000;\">Camp Whole Bird:</span>  Cook only a breast for a man who has never experienced Thanksgiving? Unthinkable!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nGuilted into joining Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought that the other was utterly absurd.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #800000;\">Bag Peeps:</span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong><span style=\"color: #808000;\">V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag? Mamma mia!</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOy vay.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both revealed their turkey expertise and their recipes in the comments section of that blog post.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurky on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurky.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nKidding!!!!  :-D\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your Turkey in the Bag recipe next year, Heather!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUmmmm....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nPerhaps it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Oh, yes.  And then there was the most pleasant distraction of the morning:  the 6\'2\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #000000;\">My mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.</span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe phone conversation went something like this:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>Me:  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  That could take all day.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>Deep breaths.</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  <em>(chuckling)</em> What do you mean there\'s no place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Mom:  <em>(announcing to the Floridian relatives)</em>  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!</span></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Floridian Peanut Gallery: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!</span></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>(Flashback:  In my culinary past, I cooked everything else for Thanksgiving, except for the turkey. Also of note: I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic, get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, and share a particular fondness for cheeseburgers, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span class=\"Apple-style-span\" style=\"color: #800000; font-size: medium;\"><strong>In a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'2\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSI, PER FAVORE!!!! (Translation:  HELL YES, PLEASE!!!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal favorite TDay dish is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds and thirds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\">Would you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!</span></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\r\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\r\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffing\'s steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Feel proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\r\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\r\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that lined the bottom of the casserole dish.  You won\'t get them all -- trust me -- but that\'s o.k.  The charred pieces are what give the stuffing that authentic smokehouse flavor.</li>\r\n	<li><strong>DRINK MORE WINE.<strong></strong></strong></li>\r\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<div><span style=\"font-size: medium; color: #800000;\"><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></span></div>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<div></div>\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8215\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"325\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThis year, the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine.<strong>  <a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">(You can find it here .  Look for \"Acantos\".)</a></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the <em>real</em> featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nGrazie for crossing the ocean to spend Thanksgiving and beyond with me, amore mio!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','publish','open','open','','turkey-verdict-buonissimo','','','2011-12-05 09:23:30','2011-12-05 16:23:30','',0,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/?p=8188',0,'post','',7),(8189,1,'2011-12-02 17:38:50','2011-12-03 00:38:50','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Breast or whole?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!  You\'re cooking for an Italian and yo\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision','','','2011-12-02 17:38:50','2011-12-03 00:38:50','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/02/8188-revision/',0,'revision','',0),(8190,1,'2011-12-02 17:40:50','2011-12-03 00:40:50','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Turkey Breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-2','','','2011-12-02 17:40:50','2011-12-03 00:40:50','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/02/8188-revision-2/',0,'revision','',0),(8191,1,'2011-12-02 17:42:53','2011-12-03 00:42:53','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Turkey Breast:  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Whole B:  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-3','','','2011-12-02 17:42:53','2011-12-03 00:42:53','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/02/8188-revision-3/',0,'revision','',0),(8192,1,'2011-12-02 17:43:53','2011-12-03 00:43:53','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Turkey Breast:  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Whole Bird:  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nBag Peeps:  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nV-Rack Thingie Peeps:  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-4','','','2011-12-02 17:43:53','2011-12-03 00:43:53','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/02/8188-revision-4/',0,'revision','',0),(8193,1,'2011-12-02 17:44:19','2011-12-03 00:44:19','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Turkey Breast:  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCamp Whole Bird:  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nBag Peeps:  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nV-Rack Thingie Peeps:  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOy vay.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-5','','','2011-12-02 17:44:19','2011-12-03 00:44:19','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/02/8188-revision-5/',0,'revision','',0),(8194,1,'2011-12-03 20:02:34','2011-12-04 03:02:34','','nw_tofurkey-1','','inherit','open','open','','nw_tofurkey-1','','','2011-12-03 20:02:34','2011-12-04 03:02:34','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(8195,1,'2011-12-03 20:01:34','2011-12-04 03:01:34','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Turkey Breast:  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Whole Bird:  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nBag Peeps:  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nV-Rack Thingie Peeps:  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your recipe in the bag next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-6','','','2011-12-03 20:01:34','2011-12-04 03:01:34','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/03/8188-revision-6/',0,'revision','',0),(8196,1,'2011-12-03 20:07:50','2011-12-04 03:07:50','','OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA','','inherit','open','open','','olympus-digital-camera-656','','','2011-12-03 20:07:50','2011-12-04 03:07:50','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240023.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(8197,1,'2011-12-03 20:10:18','2011-12-04 03:10:18','','OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA','','inherit','open','open','','olympus-digital-camera-657','','','2011-12-03 20:10:18','2011-12-04 03:10:18','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(8198,1,'2011-12-03 20:12:42','2011-12-04 03:12:42','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Turkey Breast:  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Whole Bird:  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nBag Peeps:  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nV-Rack Thingie Peeps:  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recip next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-7','','','2011-12-03 20:12:42','2011-12-04 03:12:42','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/03/8188-revision-7/',0,'revision','',0),(8199,1,'2011-12-03 20:29:27','2011-12-04 03:29:27','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options started to overwhelm me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Turkey Breast:  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCamp Whole Bird:  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nBag Peeps:  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nV-Rack Thingie Peeps:  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recip next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step fo\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-8','','','2011-12-03 20:29:27','2011-12-04 03:29:27','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/03/8188-revision-8/',0,'revision','',0),(8200,1,'2011-12-03 20:31:27','2011-12-04 03:31:27','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Bag Peeps:</strong>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nV-Rack Thingie Peeps:  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recip next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-9','','','2011-12-03 20:31:27','2011-12-04 03:31:27','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/03/8188-revision-9/',0,'revision','',0),(8201,1,'2011-12-03 20:36:29','2011-12-04 03:36:29','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recip next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and when the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show are on, I\'m\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-10','','','2011-12-03 20:36:29','2011-12-04 03:36:29','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/03/8188-revision-10/',0,'revision','',0),(8202,1,'2011-12-03 20:36:49','2011-12-04 03:36:49','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Momma mia!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOy vay.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nKidding!!!!  :-D\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recip next year, Heather!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUmmmm....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and when the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show are on . . . .\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-11','','','2011-12-03 20:36:49','2011-12-04 03:36:49','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/03/8188-revision-11/',0,'revision','',0),(8203,1,'2011-12-04 10:01:18','2011-12-04 17:01:18','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-12','','','2011-12-04 10:01:18','2011-12-04 17:01:18','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-12/',0,'revision','',0),(8204,1,'2011-12-04 10:18:19','2011-12-04 17:18:19','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFloridian Peanut Gallery:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFloridian Peanut Gallery:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-13','','','2011-12-04 10:18:19','2011-12-04 17:18:19','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-13/',0,'revision','',0),(8205,1,'2011-12-04 10:21:19','2011-12-04 17:21:19','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFloridian Peanut Gallery:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFloridian Peanut Gallery:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of impeccable timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-14','','','2011-12-04 10:21:19','2011-12-04 17:21:19','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-14/',0,'revision','',0),(8206,1,'2011-12-04 10:28:19','2011-12-04 17:28:19','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFloridian Peanut Gallery:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMom:  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFloridian Peanut Gallery:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMe:  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe Verdict:\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird cooked in 3.5 hours -- just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  First favorite?  The Italian wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, the main featured attraction of this Thanksgiving\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe company was priceless.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-15','','','2011-12-04 10:28:19','2011-12-04 17:28:19','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-15/',0,'revision','',0),(8207,1,'2011-12-04 10:31:19','2011-12-04 17:31:19','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe Verdict:\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird cooked in 3.5 hours -- just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe stuffing\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  First favorite?  The Italian wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, the main featured attraction of this Thanksgiving me\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe company was priceless.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-16','','','2011-12-04 10:31:19','2011-12-04 17:31:19','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-16/',0,'revision','',0),(8208,1,'2011-12-04 10:32:19','2011-12-04 17:32:19','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>The Verdict:</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe stuffing\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  First favorite?  The Italian wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, the main featured attraction of this Thanksgiving me\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe company was priceless.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-17','','','2011-12-04 10:32:19','2011-12-04 17:32:19','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-17/',0,'revision','',0),(8209,1,'2011-12-04 10:33:58','2011-12-04 17:33:58','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPreviously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe stuffing\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  First favorite?  The Italian wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, the main featured attraction of this Thanksgiving me\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe company was priceless.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-18','','','2011-12-04 10:33:58','2011-12-04 17:33:58','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-18/',0,'revision','',0),(8210,1,'2011-12-04 18:02:26','2011-12-05 01:02:26','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, the main featured attraction of this Thanksgiving me\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe company was priceless.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-19','','','2011-12-04 18:02:26','2011-12-05 01:02:26','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-19/',0,'revision','',0),(8211,1,'2011-12-04 18:04:26','2011-12-05 01:04:26','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving.  My Thanksgiving dinner companion was molto, Molto, MOLTO\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-20','','','2011-12-04 18:04:26','2011-12-05 01:04:26','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-20/',0,'revision','',0),(8212,1,'2011-12-04 18:11:27','2011-12-05 01:11:27','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving.  My Thanksgiving dinner companion\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-21','','','2011-12-04 18:11:27','2011-12-05 01:11:27','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-21/',0,'revision','',0),(8213,1,'2011-12-04 18:13:27','2011-12-05 01:13:27','how...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-22','','','2011-12-04 18:13:27','2011-12-05 01:13:27','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-22/',0,'revision','',0),(8214,1,'2011-12-04 18:15:36','2011-12-05 01:15:36','','OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA','Doesn\'t this look appetizing?  A food photographer I am not.','inherit','open','open','','olympus-digital-camera-658','','','2011-12-04 18:15:36','2011-12-05 01:15:36','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(8215,1,'2011-12-04 18:19:03','2011-12-05 01:19:03','','OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA','','inherit','open','open','','olympus-digital-camera-659','','','2011-12-04 18:19:03','2011-12-05 01:19:03','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(8216,1,'2011-12-04 18:18:27','2011-12-05 01:18:27','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the real featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-23','','','2011-12-04 18:18:27','2011-12-05 01:18:27','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-23/',0,'revision','',0),(8217,1,'2011-12-04 18:20:27','2011-12-05 01:20:27','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the real featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-24','','','2011-12-04 18:20:27','2011-12-05 01:20:27','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-24/',0,'revision','',0),(8218,1,'2011-12-04 18:21:27','2011-12-05 01:21:27','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the real featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-25','','','2011-12-04 18:21:27','2011-12-05 01:21:27','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-25/',0,'revision','',0),(8219,1,'2011-12-04 18:22:40','2011-12-05 01:22:40','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and pull it out!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the real featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-26','','','2011-12-04 18:22:40','2011-12-05 01:22:40','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-26/',0,'revision','',0),(8220,1,'2011-12-04 18:24:42','2011-12-05 01:24:42','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in the comment section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the real featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-27','','','2011-12-04 18:24:42','2011-12-05 01:24:42','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-27/',0,'revision','',0),(8222,1,'2011-12-04 19:10:59','2011-12-05 02:10:59','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who has never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought that the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both revealed their turkey expertise and their recipes in the comments section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your Turkey in the Bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPerhaps it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOh, yes.  And then there was the most pleasant distraction of the morning:  the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  That could take all day.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In my culinary past, I cooked everything else for Thanksgiving, except I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.  I also happen to be particularly fond of cheeseburgers.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSI!!!  Per favore.  (Translation:  HELL YES, PLEASE!!!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal favorite TDay dish is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds and thirds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffing\'s steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that lined the bottom of the casserole dish.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the <em>real</em> featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-29','','','2011-12-04 19:10:59','2011-12-05 02:10:59','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-29/',0,'revision','',0),(8221,1,'2011-12-04 18:44:58','2011-12-05 01:44:58','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who has never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought that the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both bared their souls and their recipes in <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">the comments section</a></strong>.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your turkey in the bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI also suppose it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAlthough nothing was more pleasantly distracting than the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In case you have forgotten, allow me to remind you that I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nYes, please.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal featured attraction is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffings steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that touched the bottom of the casserole dishes.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the real featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-28','','','2011-12-04 18:44:58','2011-12-05 01:44:58','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-28/',0,'revision','',0),(8223,1,'2011-12-04 19:11:11','2011-12-05 02:11:11','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\r\n\r\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who has never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought that the other was utterly absurd.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOy vay.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both revealed their turkey expertise and their recipes in the comments section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nKidding!!!!  :-D\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your Turkey in the Bag recipe next year, Heather!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUmmmm....\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nPerhaps it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOh, yes.  And then there was the most pleasant distraction of the morning:  the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  That could take all day.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nDeep breaths.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n(Flashback:  In my culinary past, I cooked everything else for Thanksgiving, except I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.  I also happen to be particularly fond of cheeseburgers.)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSI!!!  Per favore.  (Translation:  HELL YES, PLEASE!!!)\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal favorite TDay dish is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds and thirds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\r\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\r\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffing\'s steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\r\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\r\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that lined the bottom of the casserole dish.</li>\r\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\r\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\r\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the <em>real</em> featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-30','','','2011-12-04 19:11:11','2011-12-05 02:11:11','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-30/',0,'revision','',0),(8224,1,'2011-12-04 19:11:59','2011-12-05 02:11:59','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who has never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought that the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both revealed their turkey expertise and their recipes in the comments section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your Turkey in the Bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPerhaps it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOh, yes.  And then there was the most pleasant distraction of the morning:  the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  That could take all day.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In my culinary past, I cooked everything else for Thanksgiving, except I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.  I also happen to be particularly fond of cheeseburgers.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSI!!!  Per favore.  (Translation:  HELL YES, PLEASE!!!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal favorite TDay dish is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds and thirds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffing\'s steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that lined the bottom of the casserole dish.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>&npsp;\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the <em>real</em> featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-31','','','2011-12-04 19:11:59','2011-12-05 02:11:59','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-31/',0,'revision','',0),(8225,1,'2011-12-04 19:12:59','2011-12-05 02:12:59','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who has never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought that the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both revealed their turkey expertise and their recipes in the comments section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your Turkey in the Bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPerhaps it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOh, yes.  And then there was the most pleasant distraction of the morning:  the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  That could take all day.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  (announcing to the Floridian relatives)  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In my culinary past, I cooked everything else for Thanksgiving, except I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.  I also happen to be particularly fond of cheeseburgers.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIn a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSI!!!  Per favore.  (Translation:  HELL YES, PLEASE!!!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal favorite TDay dish is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds and thirds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffing\'s steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that lined the bottom of the casserole dish.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n&nbsp;\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the <em>real</em> featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-32','','','2011-12-04 19:12:59','2011-12-05 02:12:59','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-32/',0,'revision','',0),(8228,1,'2011-12-04 19:18:58','2011-12-05 02:18:58','[caption id=\"attachment_8214\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\" caption=\"Doesn&#39;t this look appetizing? A food photographer I am not. Sorry, peeps.\"]<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8214\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240025.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" /></a>[/caption]\n\nhow...How...HOW can it be December already?!?!?!  <em>Where</em> has the time gone?  It\'s hard to believe that Thanksgiving was a little over a week ago.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/\" target=\"_blank\">Previously, I shared with you that the Man from a Land Far, Far Away was coming to Thanksgiving Dinner</a></strong> (and beyond).  One doesn\'t cross the ocean for turkey and pumpkin pie.  He booked his stay for 10 days.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy inner circle worried about how this serial single girl would cope with a man in her nest for 10 days.  Either I would fall madly in love or be driven to the brink of insanity.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhile my inner circle fretted about the future of my love life, I panicked about turkey.  Specifically, how the hell do I cook one?  And aren\'t turkeys too big for two people?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe options quickly overwhelmed me:  Turkey breast?  Whole turkey?  Cornish hen?  Precooked something-or-rather from Honey Baked Hams or Whole Paycheck?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nEveryone had an opinion.  I found out through this process that Americans are very, very passionate about turkey.  Who knew?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nFirst, we had Camp Turkey Breast vs Camp Whole Bird.  Each side thought that the other was completely insane.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Camp Turkey Breast:</strong></span>  Cook an entire turkey for only two people?  Ridic!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>Camp Whole Bird:</strong></span>  Cook only a breast for a man who has never experienced Thanksgiving?  Unthinkable!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhen I was guilted into choosing Camp Whole Bird, I entered yet another Turkey Debate:  Bag vs. V-Rack Thingie.  Each side thought that the other was utterly absurd.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Bag Peeps:</strong></span>  Dry out the bird while creating a monumental mess?  As you wish, sucker!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"color: #808000;\"><strong>V-Rack Thingie Peeps:</strong></span>  You\'re cooking for an Italian, and you\'re going to stick the bird in a bag?  Mamma mia!\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOy vay.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe people-pleaser in me didn\'t want to offend anyone.  Heather and Corinniecakes both revealed their turkey expertise and their recipes in the comments section.  And then Sarah suggested Tofurkey on the facebook page.  What\'s a blogger to do?\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ultimately decided on the Tofurkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.slashfood.com/2006/11/21/tackling-the-tofurkey/\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8194\" title=\"nw_tofurkey-1\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nw_tofurkey-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"316\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nKidding!!!!  :-D\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI opted for the Whole Turkey on the V-Rack Thingie.  (I promise to try your Turkey in the Bag recipe next year, Heather!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-8197\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB2400231.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a>\n\n&nbsp;\n\n&nbsp;\n\nCorinniecakes swore up, down, and sideways in her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection that the preparation of this bird was a snap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUmmmm....\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI suppose it was easy.  Just time consuming.  My Italian sous chef for the day THANKFULLY stepped up and helped me chop onions, apples, carrots, potatoes, and <strong><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/11/15/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/comment-page-1/#comment-4541\" target=\"_blank\">whatever else Corinniecakes mentioned in that recipe.</a></strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nPerhaps it would have been even easier had I allowed appropriate prep time for the main attraction of the Thanksgiving meal.  This will not surprise my mother, but I did not step foot into the kitchen until almost 1 p.m.   I tend to lollygag about in the mornings as it is, and with the Macy\'s Thanksgiving Day Parade and The National Dog Show on, I was a bit distracted.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOh, yes.  And then there was the most pleasant distraction of the morning:  the 6\'3\" Italian man visiting me from far, far away.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSo it was 1 p.m. when I removed the turkey from my fridge to discover that it was still frozen.  Even though I took it out of the freezer on Monday.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWhat does a woman do when she faces a culinary disaster?  She calls her mother, naturally.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><strong>My mother, apparently feeling sadistic (on Thanksgiving of all days!), placed me on speakerphone so that all of my relatives could laugh at my dilemma.</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nAs the turkey fates would have it, my turkey flesh was not frozen -- only the guts that were cemented inside the cavity of that thing.  The phone conversation went something like this:\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  MOM!!!!  My turkey is frozen.  I\'m going to have to run down the street to Safeway to pick up a rotisserie chicken.  Oh, darn.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  You\'re going to have to run a cold water bath for the turkey.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Uh....no.  That could take all day.  Rotisserie chicken from Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you are NOT going to pick up a chicken when this man has traveled all the way from Tuscany to see you.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  Crap.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nDeep breaths.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  There\'s no place for me to stuff the stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  What do you mean there\'s not place to stuff the stuffing?!?!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I took out that guts bag like you told me, but there\'s no cavity!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:  </strong><em>(announcing to the Floridian relatives)</em>  Hey, everyone!  Michelle says there\'s no cavity in the turkey for the stuffing!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:  </strong>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  If you keep laughing at me, I\'m hanging up and driving to Safeway.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n(Flashback:  In my culinary past, I cooked everything else for Thanksgiving, except I a) had never cooked a whole turkey and b) I\'m squeamish when it comes to cooking meat.  If I didn\'t have a tendency to become anemic and get insanely hungry when I don\'t eat meat for stretches of time, I\'d more than likely become a vegetarian.  I also happen to be particularly fond of cheeseburgers.)\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Michelle, you\'re going to have to stick your hand in there and pull out the intestines.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  WHAT?!?!  I ALREADY PULLED OUT THE BAG THINGIE!!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  There\'s more in there.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:  </strong>BUT IT\'S FROZEN SOLID.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Mom:</strong>  Run water inside the cavity and PULL!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Floridian Peanut Gallery:</strong>  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>Me:</strong>  I have to go.  Love you.  Bye.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<strong>In a moment of perfect timing, my 6\'3\" Italiano asked me if I would like a refill on my glass of wine.</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nSI, PER FAVORE!!!! (Translation:  HELL YES, PLEASE!!!)\n\n&nbsp;\n\nI ran water through the inside of that bird and pulled.  And pulled.  And pulled.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nUntil a solid block of icy guts emerged.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nIt\'s no wonder that my personal favorite TDay dish is the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n<span style=\"font-size: large; color: #800000;\"><strong>The Verdict:</strong></span>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nThe bird -- whose insides were frozen but whose flesh was not -- cooked in 3.5 hours, just as Trader Joe\'s suggested.  Corinniecakes\' recipe lived up to its monumental hype.  The bird was juicy and tasty.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nMy Italian dinner guest had never tasted cranberry sauce, and he gave my homemade version a thumbs up.  He complimented me on my al dente green beans and humored me by taking seconds and thirds of my Smokehouse Stuffing.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nNo, Smokehouse Stuffing is not a traditional family recipe.  It was a brand new invention of mine on Thanksgiving 2011.\n\n&nbsp;\n\nWould you like the recipe for Smokehouse Stuffing?  It\'s simple!\n\n&nbsp;\n<ul>\n	<li>Put your gravy on the back burner and turn it up to high when you notice that it\'s not warming up.</li>\n	<li>Then take your perfectly cooked stuffing (baked in a casserole dish, not inside the turkey) out of the oven and place it on the front burner.  Notice how steaming hot it is!</li>\n	<li>When your dinner guest questions the intensity of the stuffing\'s steaminess, note the red hot front burner and the black back burner (with cold gravy sitting on it) and shout, \"NO!  NO!  NO!\" 100 times in a row.  Be proud of yourself for not dropping the f-bomb 1000 times in front of your guest.</li>\n	<li>Grab those oven mitts and move that stuffing to the nearest, coldest place in your kitchen, sunshine!</li>\n	<li>IMPROVISE!  Find a bowl and transfer the stuffing pronto!  Try to remove all black pieces that lined the bottom of the casserole dish.</li>\n	<li>DRINK MORE WINE.</li>\n	<li>Viola!  There you have it!  Michelle\'s Smokehouse Stuffing.</li>\n</ul>\n&nbsp;\n<div><strong>And now for the BEST part of the Meal . . . . </strong></div>\n&nbsp;\n<div><a href=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-8215 alignnone\" title=\"OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA\" src=\"http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PB240028.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" /></a></div>\n&nbsp;\n\nThis year the pumpkin pie with freshly whipped cream was my second favorite food of the Thanksgiving meal.  My first favorite?  The wine. <strong> (<a href=\"http://www.montebelli.com/bio-organic.html\" target=\"_blank\">Acantos from Montebelli</a>)</strong>\n\n&nbsp;\n\nOf course, nothing in that meal compared to the <em>real</em> featured attraction of this year\'s Thanksgiving -- my very special dinner guest.\n\n&nbsp;','Turkey Verdict:  Buonissimo!  ','','inherit','open','open','','8188-revision-35','','','2011-12-04 19:18:58','2011-12-05 02:18:58','',8188,'http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/12/04/8188-revision-35/',0,'revision','',0);
