<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/evanosherow/3393932916/sizes/m/in/photostream/"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-3213" title="SantaCruzDharma.org" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/3393932916_db7abf50e5-e1294622022284-300x172.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="172" /></a>In my former life (around 10-15 years ago), I took a meditation class through a community learning center.  After the two month class, a few of us diehards broke away and formed our own meditation group. </p>

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<p>We met at a couples' house every Wednesday night.  We would chat.  And chat.  And chat.  And then meditate together for 20 - 30 minutes.  This group stayed in tact for years, and we became the closest of friends. </p>

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<p>Every Wednesday night, like clockwork, I would fall asleep during the meditation.  Which I guess is sort of good if the meditation relaxed me <em>that much. </em>But after all of those years, I never quite felt like a meditator. </p>

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<p>I'm great at <em>mindful </em>activities, like yoga or hiking.  I can shut my mind off and stay in the present moment.  I simply don't shut my mind off very well when I'm not doing anything. </p>

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<p>Sadly, our meditation group disbanded around 2002.  It's always on my "to do" list to take up meditation again, but...</p>

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<p>I thought the New Year present was no better time to give it another try. </p>

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<p>On day 103, I situated myself in a half-lotus position in my living room and...</p>

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<p>Fell asleep. </p>

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<p>When I awoke, I attempted the meditation again, but this time I couldn't stop thinking about the prior evening and how I really missed making out with boyfriends in hot tubs (one at a time, of course).  So my meditation suddenly turned somewhat soft-pornish in nature which is I believe is technically a "fantasy" and not a "meditation". </p>

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<p>I am committed to trying yet again!  Perhaps my problem stems for the late evening hours when my body is ready for sleep and making out.  Therefore, I will</p>