<p>I am convinced that I might be the only weirdo on this planet who freaks out over a facial. </p>

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<p>Facials are supposed to be relaxing.  Soothing. </p>

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<p>For me, they make me break out into hypochondria and zits.  Let me explain. </p>

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<p>Prior to day 16, I had experienced one facial in my lifetime.  It turned my skin into that of a pimply 16 year-old.  On top of the mini-volcanoes on my face, I suffered an itchy-red-flaky allergic reaction.  Needless to say, I have not been enticed to try another facial. </p>

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<p>Until my moment of Insanity on Day 16. </p>

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<p>As I rummaged through a drawer in my master bath, I came across a bag of "Facial Steam Herbs".  I calculated that I received these for my birthday 4 YEARS AGO and set them aside for a "rainy day".  Now that I think of it, I may have told myself "rainy day", but my subconscious may have told myself "post-traumatic facial stress".  I will consult with a therapist and get back to you on this. </p>

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<p>Being my grandmother's daughter, I wasn't about to throw away perfectly good Facial Steam Herbs.  And besides, they were too old to re-gift. </p>

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<p>Day 16 Facial Steam it was!  This couldn't be so bad: </p>

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<ol>
	<li>It was free.  </li>
	<li>I wasn't applying any product to skin as was done in the Facial from Hell.  </li>
	<li>Herbs are good for you.  </li>
	<li>I needed to chill out.</li>
</ol>

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<p>I heated up a large pot of water on the stove.  I then put half of the bag of Facial Steam Herbs into the pot and set it up at my kitchen table.  I slung a towel over my head in tent-like fashion.  And I have no problem saying that I inhaled. </p>

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<p>The herbs smelled every bit of 4 years old.  </p>

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<p>And then the real fun began.  Allow me to share with you the neurotic self-talk of a woman coping with "post-traumatic facial stress":</p>

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<ul>
	<li>"What's in this stuff?  It reeks!  Could it be the 4 year-old rose petals?"</li>
	<li>"Wait a minute.  I think I might be allergic to roses!"</li>
	<li>"Great.  We're all dying from ragweed allergies out here in the Allergy Capital of the World, and now I'm snorting weed steam.  Brilliant idea."</li>
	<li>"Did I feel that pressure in my sinuses before I started this???"</li>
	<li>"Is this going to make me break out right in time for my girls' weekend in Snobbsdale???  There's nothing worse than lounging poolside with zits."</li>
	<li><span style="color: #ff0000;">"Would I be even thinking of these things if I hadn't just started my period???"</span></li>
	<li>"Crap."</li>
</ul>

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<p>When I started to get nauseated from the smell, I finally threw in the towel and called it a night. </p>

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<p>To calm my hormonally-induced anxiety, I decided to play it safe and pop a Benadryl.  This would combat any allergic reaction and make me sleep like a baby all in one fell swoop. </p>

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<p>Everything turned out to be just fine.  Whew!</p>

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<p>I apologize to the 3 token male readers who are embarrassed, aghast and don't get this post at all while 99% of the female readership nod their heads in agreement as though this all makes perfect sense.</p>

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