The other day, we learned that <strong><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/06/19/day-264-dream-analysis/" target="_blank">I am a Dream Analysis Expert</a></strong>.  I offered by services free of charge, and a few of you took me up on it.  Thank you for entrusting your psyche with me.  he he he.

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<span style="font-size: medium;"><strong><span style="color: #008000;"><del>Victim</del> Dreamer #1:  Little Michelle </span></strong></span>(Another Michelle.  She's even littler than me.)

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<em>I couldn't find my car.  I was in a field, like at an event or a concert.   It was scary.  We used an app to try to find it.  I could hear the alarm, but we could never find it.  We then heard that aliens had just landed on the moon. </em>

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<span style="color: #800080; font-size: medium;"><strong>Madame Michelle Speaks: </strong></span> Little Michelle, I asked  if you had seen any sci-fi movies this past weekend, and you responded "no", but...you did overhear a conversation about someone's dream to visit the moon.

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When Americans think of "the moon", they think "outer space".  When they think "outer space" they then think "aliens".  (Am I right?  You're shaking your head and agreeing with me, are you not?)  Anywho, "aliens" morphed into an alien moon landing.  Once aliens take over the moon, we're toast.  They immediately started beaming up what suburbanites absolutely can't live with out, our cars.  (Your iPhone and chocolate were next on the list, sister.  Aren't you relieved that it was only a dream?  Life without facebook would be a NIGHTMARE!)<em>
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<span style="color: #008000; font-size: medium;"><strong><del>Victim</del> Dreamer #2:</strong></span> Anonymous (Not to be confused with Anonymous Male Reader, although something tells me he would dream something wacko like this.)

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<strong><span style="font-size: medium; color: #ff6600;">Warning:  This Dream is rated PG-13 for bizarre visual.</span></strong>

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<em>My nipple was projectile squirting EVERYWHERE!  I couldn't get it to stop!  So embarrassing...</em>

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Madame Michelle Speaks:  Anonymous I asked if you had seen naked chests within the past 24 hours.  You sheepishly confessed to me that you watched <em>The Bachelorette</em> pre-bedtime, and this week's episode involved a bunch of shirtless hunks boxing.  (I'm sorry I missed it.)  Apparently, many of these shirtless hunks received blows to the chest.  If it were possible in our waking lives for nipples to explode, nothing would bring this oddity on more quickly than a testosterone-filled boxing exhibition.  <em>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><strong><del>Victim</del> Dreamer #3:</strong></span> Little Michelle again  (She was overly zealous about the free dream analysis, and turned out to be the perfect zealot for me because she dreams often and recalls everything.)

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Actual email from Little Michelle:  <em><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial;">I went in and got my  haircut.  I wish I could draw you a picture but imagine it was a little like a  party in the back and business in the front!  I had a fricken  mullet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It was super short like boy short and then  had long hair in the back.  LOL </span></em>

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<em><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial;">Then it switched and I  was in a wedding party.  I can’t remember all the details of that but my hair  was long again.  The photographer wanted me to model for some beer  advertisement. </span></em>

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<em><span style="color: #000000; font-family: Arial;">OK dream interpreter –  interpret that!!!!!</span></em>

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<em>Mullet</em>

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Madame Michelle Speaks:  This one is so easy that I could have analyzed it in my own sleep.  You had "country" on the brain after my two-stepping tales from the past weekend.  Nothing screams "COUNTRY" like mullets and beer.  Lots and lots of beer.

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Wow, I'm good.

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<del>Victim</del> Dreamer #4:

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