<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1220184.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-3547" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1220184-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="300" /></a>You know how some people joke about turning into their parents?</p>

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<p>Well, I've turned into my Uncle John.  He'll be front and center at a Broadway show and falls asleep.  It drives my aunt crazy.</p>

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<p>I dozed off Saturday night at the opera.  During each of the three acts.</p>

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<p>But wait a minute!  This is not like me!  I never fall asleep at the theatre!</p>

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<p>I am an "arts person"!  I performed in the theatre for over 10 years!  I was an "arts teacher" for 16 years!  I consider myself an "arts advocate"!</p>

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<p>The arts are in my blood!  <span style="font-size: 13.1944px;">I <em>revel </em>in all things artistic!</span></p>

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<p>Except for opera.  I'm coming right out and saying it:  Opera is Boring.</p>

<p>(you can take the girl out of musical theatre, but you can't take musical theater out of the girl.)</p>

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<p>I have tried opera a few times now, and I've decided it's a complete snoozaroo.</p>

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<p>Believe you me, there was no one more excited about dressing up and meeting my fellow arts-fartsy friend, Mark, for <em>Turandot </em>on Saturday night.  "Nessun Dorma" invaded my brain weeks ago, and I couldn't wait to hear it performed live for the first time.</p>

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<p>Mr. Opera Announcer came out to report a sold out house.  I applauded passionately.  Hurrah for the arts selling out!  In a week where a <em>Jersey Shore</em> intellectual midget's book topped the best-seller list no less!  There is hope yet for American culture!</p>

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<p>The lights dimmed.  The curtain rose.</p>

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<p>Zzzzzzzzzzzz...</p>

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<p>Is it just me, or is the story of <em>Turandot</em> completely and utterly ridiculous?</p>

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<p>Late Bloomer's <em>Turandot</em> in a Nutshell:</p>

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<p>Once upon a time there was a trainwreck of a Princess Turandot of Peking who carried not only her own man-hating baggage, but the man-hating baggage of her ancestors.  In other words, she was a Royal Biotch.  Since men have loved trainwrecks since the beginning of time, suitors crawl out of the world's woodwork to pursue Her Royal Pain in the Ass.  (Because even those men have professed to hate "drama" since the beginning of time, we all know that they crave a challenge.)  The suitors must answer three riddles to win Turandot's hand in marriage, and if they answer incorrectly, they are immediately beheaded.  Heads roll (literally and frequently) around Peking in ceremonial fashion.  Hordes of sick bastards come from all over the country to watch the entertainment.</p>

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<p>One of these onlookers is the most Co-Dependent Man of All Time, Prince Calaf.</p>

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<p><span style="font-size: 12.7315px;">tually thought I was getting sick sooooo tired.  but nope.  Just sheer boredom.  and disbelief.</span></p>