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[caption id="attachment_3358" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Gelatinous Goo aka Speedy Chicken Pot Pie"]<a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1130180.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-3358" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1130180-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a>[/caption]

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<p>My disgusting culinary catastrophe all started when my mother gifted me with a <strong><em><a href="http://www.cookinglight.com/magazine/" target="_blank">Cooking Light magazine</a></em></strong> subscription a year ago Christmas.  One year and 12 issues later, I never cooked a recipe. </p>

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<p><strong><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/?s=cooking+light" target="_blank">I pledged on Day 107</a> </strong>that I would cook one recipe from the January 2010 issue to absolve myself of all thankless gift receivee sins.  In a moment of delusion, I pondered cooking a recipe from each of the 12 issues, but I can now assure you that pigs will be flying and hell will be freezing before <em>that</em> ever happens.</p>

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<p>My recipe du jour seemed harmless enough:  Speedy Chicken Pot Pie.  Sounds yummy, right? </p>

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<p>Does the Speedy Chicken Pot Pie pictured above look yummy to you, my friends?  Hmmmmm??? </p>

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<p>Granted, I couldn't bring myself to schlepp to the regular grocery store for Simply Potatoes (whatever the heck those are).  I substituted red, white, and blue potatoes from Trader Joe's.  In retrospect, I suppose I whipped up a Speedy Patriotic Chicken Pot Pie. </p>

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<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #666699;"><strong>I WASN'T THINKING THAT THE BLUE POTATOES WOULD TURN THE ROUX INTO A PALER SHADE OF BLUISH-GRAY GOO!!!!</strong></span>  </span></p>

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<p>And since when does roux turn gelatinous????   What up with this roux recipe, Cooking Light???</p>

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<p>The leftovers were evolved into something more exotic:</p>

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[caption id="attachment_3359" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I actually ate these leftovers because I was too lazy to fix something else for dinner. "]<a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1150182.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-3359" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1150182-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a>[/caption]

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<p>I SWEAR to you that all of these photos are untouched. </p>

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<p>Luckily, my friend, David aka Captain Adventure was my dining partner that evening.  He gets his nickname for traveling all over the world to dangerous, off-the-beaten-beaten-beaten path places, so he's eaten plenty of disgusting food in his day. </p>

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<p>David assured me that the Speedy Patriotic Chicken Pot Pie was "edible".  I was grateful that he didn't ask to call for pizza. </p>

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<p>He was a good sport and cleaned his plate like a good boy. </p>

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[caption id="attachment_3360" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="All gone! Now THAT&#39;S true friendship. "]<a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1130181.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-3360" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1130181-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a>[/caption]

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<p>A very good little girl waited in the wings for her turn.  I caught David trying to sneak her a table scrap before I freaked out and reminded him that table scraps are not healthy for poochies.  (Captain Adventure travels too much to own a dog.  Please forgive him.) </p>

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[caption id="attachment_3361" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Gratuitous &quot;World&#39;s Most Precious Pooch&quot; Photo"]<a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1130179.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-3361" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/P1130179-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a>[/caption]

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<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>Comic Relief Moment of the Night:</strong> </span></span>When the onions were burning during phone call distractions, "Disco Inferno" was playing on iTunes.  Remember that song?  "Burn, baby, burn!  Disco Inferno!  Burn, baby, burn!"  I could not have scripted this better. </p>

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<p>Apple is known for "intuitive" technology.  My iTunes apparently has intuitive comic timing.</p>

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<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong><span style="color: #ff0000;">Saving Grace of the Night: </span></strong></span>I don't consider investing time and effort in a disappointing dinner at the end of a long day "soul-scintillating" (which is supposed to be the determining factor for all of my blog activities).  I dreamed that this would be very Top Chef, and instead it turned out to be Hell's Kitchen. </p>

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<p>Captain Adventure to the Rescue!  He just so happened to bring along his computer and latest iMovie of his recent travels to Burma.  He invites you to take a look, too! </p>

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<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>Captain Adventure's Burmese iMovie: </strong></span></span> <a title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vinOwcerAXE" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vinOwcerAXE"><strong>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vinOwcerAXE</strong></a></p>

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<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>Saving Grace 2:  </strong></span></span>We have our upcoming <strong><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2010/11/30/day-61-thankful-for-fellow-t-day-orphans/" target="_blank">Lusty Cooking Project</a></strong> to turn this dud around.  Something tells me that these recipes will be simply divine, dahlings. </p>