<a href="http://www.target.com/p/Oneida-Heavy-Gauge-Commercial-Carbon-Steel-Roasting-Pan-with-Rack/-/A-688914" target="_blank"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-8167" title="688914" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/688914.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="300" /></a>Thanksgiving Dinner, to be exact.

&nbsp;

Remember the Love Letter from <strong><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2011/10/26/day-365-a-love-letter/" target="_blank">Day 365</a></strong>?

&nbsp;

Yes, it's him.

&nbsp;

<strong>Could this be any more romantic???  A man from a land far, far away is coming to visit me for 10 DAYS during Thanksgiving!!!!</strong>

&nbsp;

My life feels like a screenplay these days, and I keep pinching myself and wondering if this is all real.

&nbsp;

In fact, I'm going to pinch myself again right now.

&nbsp;

Yes, it's REAL!

&nbsp;

Now...Dear Readers...I ask you...actually I <em>plead</em> with you...

&nbsp;

It's just going to be the two of us for Thanksgiving, and I have this tiny, little question:

&nbsp;

<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>

&nbsp;

Thankgivings Past have always been either with my family where my mother does all the cooking (Sorry, Mom!)  or here in Phoenix with Kimmeee where she cooks the bird, steamed green beans, and mashed taters while I contribute the pumpkin pie with whipped cream, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce  (all from scratch).

&nbsp;

Currently, I have two Turkey Camps feeding me Bird Advice for Turkey Day.

&nbsp;

Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom:  "Turkey breast.  Not only is it more than enough for the meal and leftovers, but it's also easier, quicker, and you only eat white meat anyway."

&nbsp;

vs.

&nbsp;

Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling:  "It's THANKSGIVING!  He's never eaten a Thanksgiving Meal!  You must be AUTHENTIC!  You must cook the whole bird!  Carpe Diem!  What's the matter with you?!?!"

&nbsp;

O.k., o.k.  My friends are much too nice to say "What's the matter with you?!?!", but my nasty self-talk is not as nice.  I've been berating myself incessantly for days for shying away from the Real Deal.

&nbsp;

Today in Cooleenie's cube at work, Corinniecakes shared her Tale of Turkey Roasting Perfection.  I am telling you, her interpretation was Oscar-worthy.  It was <em>that</em> convincing.

&nbsp;

I wish I had caught this all on video, because the entire nation would suddenly be on Corinniecakes' Turkey Roasting Perfection bandwagon.  The Food Network would contact her for a lucrative TV Cooking Show Host contract, and Corinniecakes would become the Next Big Thing.

&nbsp;

In a culture that is currently obsessed with a dimwit whose only claim to fame is a bodacious backside and a 70ish-day marriage, America could use someone with intelligence, wit, and turkey roasting prowess to rise to the top.

&nbsp;

I wish I could recount Corinniecakes' Tale of TRP to you right now, but I'm stumped.  I remember something about "searing" and "turning the bird over so that the juices settle" so that "you'll eat the most tender bird of your life, sister".

&nbsp;

Other than that, I can't tell you how she cooks it.  Her storytelling was marvelous, but that didn't stop me from panicking and obsessing over....

&nbsp;

<strong>How do I prepare a Turkey for Two???</strong>

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  You'll get a small bird.  It will be fine.

&nbsp;

<strong>Me:</strong>  What about a Cornish Game Hen?  I read about this on the Internet.

&nbsp;

<strong>Cooleenie:</strong>  My mom makes Cornish Game Hens for Thankgiving!

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(waving her finger in the air)</em>  No, no, no, no, no.

&nbsp;

<strong>Me:</strong>  But...but....but....

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>(in her calm Corinniecakes Way)</em>  I also suggest Rachel Ray's "Stuffin' Muffins".  They take a lot of preparation though.

&nbsp;

<strong>Me:</strong>  <em>(Silent.  For once.  Because what do I have to say to the Woman Who Does It All on Thankgiving?!  Oh.  And did I mention that she has a newborn, a toddler, works full time and is always Zen calm?!?!?!)</em>

&nbsp;

My negative self-talk skyrockets as I break out into a cold sweat.

&nbsp;

Cooleenie shoots me The Look of Sympathy.

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:  </strong>Come over to my cube.  I need to show you The Pan.

&nbsp;

<strong>Me:</strong>  The Pan???

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  <em>Dah</em>ling, you need a Turkey Roasting Pan.  With a rack that looks like this.  <em>(She shapes her hands into a "V".)</em>

&nbsp;

Something about "the juices" again.

&nbsp;

I have no earthly idea what she is talking about.

&nbsp;

She sits down at her computer and types away.

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Voila!  Here's one!  <em>(pause)</em>  Oops!  You can find one cheaper than this.

&nbsp;

I peek over her children to see a $199 price tag.

&nbsp;

Uh-oh.

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  Let's try Target.com.  Voila!  36 bucks!  You can swing that.

&nbsp;

<strong>Me (ugly inner self-talk version):</strong> <em>Ugh.  I bet I could swing a precooked, organic, free range Turkey for Two from Whole Paycheck for less than 36 bucks.  Couldn't I?</em>

&nbsp;

<strong>Me (Carpe Diem outer version):  </strong>I suppose I could stop by Target on Thursday after work.

&nbsp;

<strong>Corinniecakes:</strong>  And you'll have the pan forever!  Think of how many Thanksgiving turkeys you'll prepare with this pan!

&nbsp;

Somehow, the anxious self-talk dissipates, and Corinniecakes' enthusiasm washes over me.  If this bird turns out to be as delectable as she makes it out to be, this could be the best 25 bucks ever spent.

&nbsp;

**********

&nbsp;

Whose camp are you on?

&nbsp;

Camp Corinniecakes &amp; Dina <em>Dah</em>ling

&nbsp;

or

&nbsp;

Camp Cooleenie &amp; Mom?

&nbsp;

If you are rebellious type, feel free to form your own camp.  I'm taking any and all ideas on how to prepare a Thanksgiving Turkey for Two in the comment section below.

&nbsp;

I should probably also note that this man from far, far away means the world to me, so I will feel the cooking fear and do it anyway for his sake.

&nbsp;

Thank you for your advice, support, and Turkey mojo.

&nbsp;

&nbsp;

&nbsp;

&nbsp;

&nbsp;

&nbsp;

&nbsp;

&nbsp;