<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong><span style="font-size: medium;">Photo of Biggest Fashion Faux Pas in History of Female Bloggerdom exists within the bowels of this post.</span></strong></span>  But first...</p>

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<p>Fashion Makeover Part One was supposed to take place on <strong><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2010/11/11/day-45-fashion-mags-or-soft-porn/" target="_blank">Day 45.</a></strong>  I originally intended to acquaint myself with "what's hot now" in fashion and quickly became sidetracked by another sort of smutty "hot" in Cosmo. </p>

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<p>I ultimately decided that it would be easier for me to arrange for a personal shopper at Nordstrom because she'll actually know what she's doing and won't get sidetracked by articles on untamed va-jay-jays.  (<strong><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/2010/11/11/day-45-fashion-mags-or-soft-porn/" target="_blank">You'll need to go back and read Day 45</a></strong> for the latest and greatest on retro "hairstyles".  If you've invested in laser hair removal, then you're SOL.  Oops! ) </p>

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<p>And yes, a personal shopper at Nordie's is FREE.  Can you believe it?!?! </p>

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<p>Oh, Nordie's, Nordie's, Nordie's.  How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways! </p>

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<p>On another day.  I need to focus on Day 59. </p>

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<p>Before the Nordie's Fairy Godmother makes me over, I needed to make room in a closet overbrimming with unworn clothing. </p>

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<p>You may be asking, "How does cleaning out a closet serve as a Day of Living Curiously?  Aren't you supposed to pick something 'soul-scintillating', as you like to call it?" </p>

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<p>Fair question, dear reader.  Fair question. </p>

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<p>When you are born in the month of September, then there is a very good chance that you are a Virgo.  And if you are a Virgo, then there is a very good chance that you like to organize and clean.  And if you like to organize and clean, then there is a very good chance that reorganizing and cleaning a closet gives you a cheap thrill. </p>

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<p>I am guilty all of the above. </p>

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<p>So on Day 59, I couldn't wait to get in the trenches and toss clothing and shoes that met the following criteria:</p>

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<ul>
	<li>Not worn in a year</li>
	<li>More than 7 years old (call it my 7 year itch)</li>
	<li>Outdated</li>
	<li>Uncomfortable</li>
	<li>Anything that would cause my sister to taunt me with, "You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny."</li>
</ul>

<p>I present to you the embarrassing "Before" photos. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB230178.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2178" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB230178-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="300" /></a></p>

<p>Granted, it could be worse (the closet is still fairly color, type, and season coordinated), but it is still enough to drive a Virgo to the edge. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB230180.jpg"></a> <a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB2301791.jpg"><img title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB2301791-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>

<p>I'm no Mommy Dearest, but the dry cleaner hangers need to go.  NO MORE WIRE HANGERS, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB230180.jpg"><img title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB230180-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="300" /></a></p>

<p>And look at my hamper!  Or more specifically, the floor surrounding my hamper!  You would think a bachelor lived here!!!</p>

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<p>In the midst of battle, I decided to concentrate only on fall/winter clothes.  All shoes were game. </p>

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<p>Holy Duststorm, Batman!  Have you ever noticed how much DUST accumulates in closets???  I had no choice but to whip out the dust mask and super-duper-micro-fibered As Seen On TV dust cloths.  Choke, choke, cough, cough. </p>

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<p>I was ruthless about the rules above.  In the past, I've gone soft with the "I haven't worn it in a year, but I promise to wear it soon" and "It's getting old, but it's so comfy and sentimental" excuses. </p>

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<p>Since I am a Virgo, I usually clean out my closet twice a year.  I wondered how much stuff I would really part with this time around.  I surprised myself. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260194.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2185" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260194-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>

<p>Before you think I'm waaayyyy too anal, I'm the rare Virgo who refuses to make her bed.  Except when I'm expecting guests, of course. </p>

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<p>In case you wanted to laugh at me even further, allow me to supply you with yet more humiliating photos.</p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260196.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2186" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260196-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="300" /></a></p>

<p>I remember buying this dress for my first year of teaching in Arizona.  Which means that...ahem...THAT THIS DRESS IS FROM 1995!!!!  Kimeee, Dina <em>dah</em>ling, and Cooleenie -- WHY DIDN'T YOU STAGE AN INTERVENTION???</p>

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<p>Moving on...</p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260197.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2187" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260197-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>

<p>3 token male readers -- It's true.  Women buy too many black shoes.  Sue us. </p>

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<p>I'd rather not move on, as our next "exhibit" could rank as one of the most embarassing photos every posted by a female blogger with any sort of fashion pride. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260198.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2189" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260198-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>

<p>Arizona readers -- These are called "Duck Shoes", and I actually wore them in college to keep my feet dry as I trekked across a snowy New York campus.  Why do I still have them?  Your guess is as good as mine. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260206.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2190" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260206-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>

<p>One woman's trash is another woman's treasure.  All clothing and shoes will be donated to Bosom Buddies, a breast cancer charity. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260205.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2191" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260205-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="300" /></a></p>

<p>Do you ever find unexpected goodies when cleaning out your closet?  Look what timely treasure I found!  [The Ttouch, not the puppy. :-) ]</p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260208.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2192" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260208-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>

<p>Ahhhhh...Virgoan bliss = Pared down, as well as type, season and color coordinated.  I actually arrange the colors by their order in the spectrum.  (Roy G. Biv!  Red, orange, yellow, etc.)  Now that I say that out loud, I'm wondering if this is healthy. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260207.jpg"><img title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB260207-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>

<p>Bella is perfect and does not chew on shoes.  She merely poses alongside them. </p>

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<p><a href="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB2602101.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-2195" title="OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA" src="http://www.diaryofalatebloomer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/PB2602101-225x300.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="300" /></a></p>

<p>Yes, mom.  Even<em> I</em> was mortified with myself and placed the clothes inside the hamper where they belong. </p>