People are always asking me questions. I like that, but let me pose one for a change.

Why do you want to write anyway? I mean it's not as if there's a million great writing jobs going out there. Or people strutting around saying, 'Look at my new Mercedes -- see where writing got <em>me.'</em>

What is the big deal exactly?

Actually I do ask this of people from time to time. Let me give you some of the answers I get and the response I'd really like to give if politeness didn't dictate otherwise. Then, finally, the answer I'd like to hear... and never have.

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<blockquote>I've always wanted to write.</blockquote>
OK. That's probably the number one response when the question comes up. I've used it myself from time to time, and will do again. But you know something? It's a really pathetic answer. Like saying, 'I always wanted to be an astronaut'. Or, 'On balance I'd prefer healthy immortality to old age and eventual death.' It may be accurate but it tells you nothing. Answers are supposed to <em>answer</em>. This one doesn't.
<blockquote>I always thought it would be cool to have my name on a book.</blockquote>
That's understandable, though I must be honest: no one except your friends and relatives will spot it <em>and they know you already.</em> Authors don't get a lot of celebrity recognition. Would you know James Patterson if you were sharing a cab? Probably not, and he's been on <em>The Simpsons. </em>If, by some miracle, the world at large actually does spot you on the cover it will, in any case, simply prompt the question, 'Is that your real name?'
<blockquote>I want to get rich.</blockquote>
Ha, ha, HA!
<blockquote>My present job sucks.</blockquote>
Generally speaking good things in life come from positive sentiments not negative ones. In other words things you <em>want</em> to do not things you want to avoid. Would you go to a job interview and say, 'The reason I need this post is because my present one's a nightmare'? Not if you want to get it. An awful lot of people seem to think that writing offers an escape route from the routine of office work in today's uncertain environment. They are likely to be sadly disappointed. Most authors have to do two jobs -- writing and something else -- for several years in order to survive. The number who go on to write full time without some other source of income is relatively small.
<blockquote>I want an easy life. You know, one where you just work a couple of hours a day and don't have to commute or get bogged down in the hassle that comes with a real job.</blockquote>
Self employment of all kinds usually entails longer working hours than would be legal in staff jobs, pay rates beneath the minimum wage and frequent savage encounters with the grim reality of spending countless hours at home: blocked drains, child and partner tantrums, sick pets and a never-ending round of highly visible household chores. Writing is no exception. Oh, and it is a real job by the way. Real work, risky work, often badly paid and hardly a secure career choice. If it's the cushy life you're after look elsewhere.
<blockquote>They say everyone has a book inside them and I'd like mine to come out.</blockquote>
How many of the people who say this have actually written books themselves? The idea that everyone can write is patently and visibly absurd.  No one says, 'Everyone can sing'. Personally I'd love to be able to paint but I know I can't. Why should writing be any different? And even if it's true everyone has a book inside them, is it really likely to be something that anyone else wants to read?

OK. Now here's the real answer. Ready?
<blockquote>The reason I want to write is because I've got something inside me I'm burning to say.</blockquote>
Good. Now go and say it.