good morning to you all <br />took Pappy out  as usual <br />i am preparing  some dishes but not cooking yet  LOL for my dad while my mom is in CA next week with my brother and family of course helping out with Calleigh. i am kind of little down about me not going but i will be alright and i do wanted to vent out,<br /><br />i have a vent  to get off my chest <br />i don’t understand why mother refused to let me go see my brother and family and even  to meet Calleigh. She did that to me again twice she did that to me last march before easter and now she doing it again that make me pissed off sorry for language he is my brother and a family member i have RIGHT to see him sighs. <br />i do know that mother is kind of controlling me in some way of where i travel  i think she not like me to visit  family members unless she is there what is that &#33;&#33;&#33;&#33; she does to herself  alone why can i do that too. I guess her overprotective is getting bad as i am been on my own for long time and i guess i don’t have husband or a boyfriend but i don’t need them anymore. i can do well on my own thank you, gosh.<br />it is making me feel so sad that i feel that i am not allowed to see my brother. Guess i will have talk with my brother about our mother and also i would have to save money for  my trip out there. i guess i would get 2 weeks of break that i need badly. SO i need to make it really happen soon. <br />My mother have been controlling my sister and me after we became adult  but it was my sister first since she was 4 years older than me and later when i became adult and already on my own she start on me too but she not controlling our brother because he is a guy and favorite of the family i don’t understand why she did to me and my sister and she said that our mother complained that our grandmother did same thing to my mom and her baby sister  (my aunt) and now my mother is doing same thing repeating my grandmother’s controllings. My sister and i made a pact that we will not be like our mother when we have little girls. actually my sister have her little girl so she not doing anything to her, but our mother was kind of little not very pleased of what my sister is doing not do the repeating control to her daughter (my eldest niece actually i have 2 other nieces anyway).<br />so there  i feel better.  sorry for long vent.<br /><br /><br />i am sorry Falina for canceling the cruise  hugs you  i hope things will be better then you can go.  cruises will be always there for you to take   i really need that myself smile<br /><br />kevin had point, i had inside state room on my first cruise not big deal and i did see EVERYTHING when i went out on the top it was wonderful and i did get oceanview but not balcony which was wonderful and i did see everything once i go out on the top smile  i hope you can figure out how. smile<br /><br />i like the way you  did  Kevin  thank you and it does help me thank you again<br /><br />debbie i am glad you are getting better and good luck on Tues and Happy Anniversary being a crazie smile..<br /><br /><br />gotta go and will be back later to check on you guys