Like Deb&#39;s. both of my parents are deceased and have been for a long time.  My brothers never did anything to help care for my mom, who lived 20 yrs. after my dad died when I was a teenager, although I lived 750 miles away and they lived in the same town.  She had Parkinson&#39;s and I was the one traveling back and forth, taking care of things.  But when she died, they had all the arrangements made before I even got there.  That really ticked me off - not because I wanted to do it (which I really didn&quot;t) but because it was nothing like she would have wanted.  I knew that she wanted the man who had been her pastor when she younger to do the service.  He was old, but still very cognizant and I know he would have wanted to do it, as even though other pastors (including my father) came and went from her life, she still always called on Rev. Philbeck when she needed prayer.  My brothers said they didn&#39;t like him so they got a minister who had never even met my mom, and I found his message so bizarre.  The songs were all wrong and ahe would have hated the whole ordeal.  All the way home from the cemetary, in the family car, they kept talking about how wonderful it was, and I never said a word.  Finally they asked me if I didn&#39;t agree that he pegged mom to a tee - and I told them that obviously they never really knew her.