hey all <br /><br />sorry i have not been around... been going thur a rough time.. mentally and physically.. as ya know they cut my graveyard shift and i had to move to swing ( go to work at 300 pm instead of 10 pm ) and i work till midnight.. .. which has messed up everything from my sleep patterns to appts etc etc .. and i loss 2 % pay.. i am glad i have a job but the transition has been terrible.. i have not been sleeping.. i have been having mood swings like crazy... poor Gary he is a trooper .. he has had to put up with so much...i am finally sleeping about 4 hrs now.. which is better then it was.. i was going two three days with no more then 4-5 total for all the days... i almost fell alseep at the wheel drivng home one night .. so i have been trying all the natural things to sleep i just don&#39;t want to take another pill.. i am sure most of ya understand that one..<br /><br />then the worst was losing one of my baby doggy spreakles .. i know to some they understand how a pet could take such a toll when ya lose them, but i had had then for 13 yrs , him and my other older do helped me thur my divorce the lost of my mom and dad.. so i think i relived all that when he passed away.. i think it was the first time in a long time i just sat down and really cried .. i am not sure if you know what i mean.. sometime we hold so much inside that all it takes is one thing and all the tears , anger sadness finally comes to the top and you finally let it all go.. well that was about 3 days of just crying,, somewhat depressed and i slept slept slept ... and ya know it was the first time in a long time i really felt somewhat ok.. i can&#39;t really explain it .. it was like that rock that i had been carrying for sooooooooo long was finally lifted .. like i say i am not sure anyone understands that feeling... <br /><br />i have been just hangin out and watching all that goes on.. Joey ypou crazy man.. you always bring a smile to me.. Marylou how do ya do it .. Jackie hope the back is better glad you were able to go test drive the 5th wheel , Rose how wonderful europe yaaaaaaaaaaa how exciting... enjoy the planning....so many weddings coming up ... sorry so much snow... for you all .. ( sorry to say i had the air on over the weekend it was 86) hehehehehe<br /><br />well just wanted to drop a note and say hello and let ya know i am alive and i am KICKING LOL <br /><br />to all of you dear people .. at times like this it really is nice to know friends are here to understand.. and extend a good word or a hug when ya need it... <br /><br />Vicky welcome.. these special people start to grow on ya .. as we come and go thur this board there is always love and friendship thur good bad and the UGLY ( thank god for no real time blog pic&#39;s in the morning )<br /><br />Tonia