Bridget O&#39;Reilly was a fine looking girl<br />Well, her skin was like ivory and her teeth shone like pearls<br />The fellas all chased her in vain til one day<br />She went and got married to Barney O&#39;Shea<br /><br />They&#39;d been married a year, when to their pride and joy<br />Along came a baby, a fine strapping boy<br />When three years had past, they&#39;d two boys and a girl<br />How to feed them and clothe them made Bridget&#39;s head whirl<br /><br />Bridget went to the priest, she was near desperation<br />Because of this process of constant gestation<br />O Father, this business is making me ill<br />Would it be a sin if I took to the Pill?<br /><br />The priest heard her story and when he had heard it<br />To higher authorities, perplexed, he referred it<br />The bishops were baffled, the cardinals too<br />Not one could tell Bridget just what she should do<br /><br />Two years they debated with holy profundity<br />What should be done about Bridget&#39;s <b>fecundity</b><br />For now Bridget&#39;s children amounted to five<br />And she scarcely was able to keep them alive<br /><br />They gave due attention to points theological<br />Points philosophic and physiological<br />Til in desperation, the Pope cried, o sod<br />There&#39;s just one thing to do, I&#39;d best go and ask God<br /><br />So the Pope sent a letter by five penny post<br />On Papal notepaper, addressed, Holy Ghost<br />Come send me an answer in double quick time<br />You can reach me at home, just ring VAT 69<br /><br />The Pope got his answer and then he announced it<br />Oral contraception, he thoroughly denounced it<br />All chemical means to prevent procreation<br />Are banned on the pain or eternal damnation<br /><br />If we were to allow it, unashamed fornication<br />Would spread like a flash to all parts of the nation<br />There&#39;d be plagues, fire, and famine and moral <b>pollution</b><br /><br /><br />Bridget and the Pill by Frankie Armstrong <br /><br /><br /><b>pollution</b>