I was lonely and depressed <br />Having fled the family home <br />When I met an old acquaintance <br />I had only barely known <br /><br />And I told her over tea <br />Of my worries and my woes <br />And a morbid fear of eating beans <br />In tightly fitting clothes <br /><br />And she said psychoanalysis was just the thing for me <br />And she knew a Mayfair analyst I really ought to see <br /><br />So I went round to his rooms <br />And he saw me right away <br />Though he asked a sum of money I could ill afford to pay <br /><br />But I lay down on the couch <br />By a bowl of flaccid flowers <br />And I talked and talked and talked and talked <br />For hours and hours and hours <br />And he told me tales of Oedipus with great authority <br /><br />And he asked me if my mother <br />Wore stiletto heels and rubber <br />And I realized that this poor soul <br />Was more confused than me <br /><br />Well the shock was so profound <br />That I fled into the strand <br />Where I saw a Hare Krishna group <br />And joined in with the band <br /><br />This was just the life for me <br />Free of worldly goods and care <br />And I chanted and I ranted <br />Round and round Trafalgar Square <br /><br />I converted tens of thousands and they joined us then and there <br />But the bagwan was so jealous <br />That he called me over zealous <br />Then he threw me out <br />When i refused to cut off all my hair <br /><br />(Dr. Ruth, Dr. Ruth, why not write to Dr. Ruth?) <br /><br />So I wrote to Dr. Ruth <br />And she helpfully proposed <br />I should <b>join </b> a nudist colony <br />And throw away my clothes <br /><br />All that sun upon my flesh <br />Would set my libido free <br />And would guarantee much more of it <br />Whatever &#39;it&#39; may be <br /><br />But I don&#39;t feel that I was quite equipped for such a life <br /><br />Fair of skin just like my sisters <br />Too much sun would give me blisters <br />So I think I’ll turn the whole thing in <br /><br />And go home to the wife<br /><br /><br />Sects Therapy – The Alan Parsons Project<br /><br /><b>wife</b><br /><br />