 if only we could get some kind of profile on these guys as i was returning to work with my hardearned lunch from taco bell i heard on the radio that there an attempt to detonate a car bomb at a christmas tree lighting in portland oregon portland i thought they were very progressive out there why would someone want to hurt them when all us nasty conservatives are in the middle of the country the attacker was first described at a teenager hmm must be teenage angst or anger that bristol palin made it so far in dancing with the stars then i heard it was a somali immigrant oh probably protesting atrocities in rwanda or not enough food or general incompetence by african dictators or an american president then i heard his name was mohamed osman mohamud hmm mohamed that type of name sounds familiar is he catholic those progressives are always pointing to timothy mcveigh who at one point in his life was catholic so we can t profile based on religion probably not though catholics normally don t have a last name the same as their first name timothy mcveigh timothy nope doesn t sound right couldn t possibly be muslim right they are the religion of peace as they demonstrate on a daily basis finally i understood which religion he was he was an environmentalist he was protesting the death of a tree for the commercialized holiday of christmas in the united states the great satan if you will i knew i d get to the bottom of it  