I was in the Traverse City area weekend before last and had the honor to get my hands on a copy of the Traverse City Record Eagle. And what a stellar issue! Let's discuss the five cover stories that assaulted its readers.<br />
<br />
The big story was about the city's winter festival, complete with picture. Excellent, local news about a popular event, as it should be. I even went to the aforementioned festival, and it was quite lively. And cold, so I went inside and had a beer.<br />
<br />
Along the top banner was teaser for biking around Traverse Coty. Biking as in using a bicycle.&nbsp; In winter. This sounds like a horrible idea to me. One of the things Northern Michigan is&nbsp; known for is its snow, and biking and snow don't mix. But when you're trying to save the world one tank of gas at the time, common sense is the first victim. I mean, people do really crazy things to save gas, like buy a Chevette. I mean, a Prius. But if enough people are lionized for sacrificing their comfort to two-wheel it around town, they maybe, just maybe, you'll feel guilty enough to do it, too. Not the person that wrote the story, but for you, being cold, sweaty, and wet is fine.<br />
<br />
Another front page story was about a state senator still using the title &quot;state senator&quot; in correspondences. Alright, that seems a bit odd, but is that front page news? Well, it is when it's a Republican! What madness could convince someone to use a title that is no longer theirs? That would be like a left-wing hack (say, Michael Mann), using the term Nobel Prize recipient. How crazy would that be? But it may turn out to be slightly embarrassing (for some reason) to a Republican, so that makes it front page material.<br />
<br />
In the bottom corner we have an article title &quot;Tax increases affecting more&quot; about the evils of raising taxes by Governor Snyder. Remember, when Democrats raise your taxes, it's a good thing. Without it, puppies and children and old people will starve. When Republican do it, it's so that big business can pay less. I don't like paying more in taxes for anybody because modern taxation is a pointless exercise in income redistribution. If I could get a receipt for where my taxes are spent, like on my paycheck, when there is a line-by-line description of who just stole my money, I'd probably be even more appalled then I already am.<br />
<br />
And we come to my favorite one, &quot;Living small is getting bigger&quot;. Yes, tiny homes are trendy. McMansions? Oh, those were so 90's. The REAL trendsetters live in teeny tiny houses and do without, both in size and taste. And you should, too. Having two bathrooms is so pass&eacute;. Cozy is the new buzzword, and if you can have a &quot;cozy&quot; house with solar panels that will never pay for themselves because you live halfway to the North Pole, well, so much the better.<br />
<br />
Traverse City is a beautiful place. And as long as you're a liberal, you've got a great paper. If you don't think Barack Obama is a right-wing fan of Rush Limbaugh, though, the Record Eagle is probably not the paper for you.<br />