An article in Psychology Today, this week, <a title="Letting_Babies_Cry" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out" target="_blank">“Dangers of ‘Crying it Out’”</a> reports that allowing a baby to “cry it out” in order to go to sleep results in significant harm for children:
<ul>
	<li>increased risk of ADHD</li>
	<li>diminished brain development (When a baby is stressed, the toxic hormone cortisol, which kills neurons, is released.)</li>
	<li>greater dependence - rather than independence</li>
	<li>less personal confidence</li>
	<li>less trust in the world</li>
	<li>mothers and fathers who have “hardened their hearts” and lost their ability to read and understand the needs of their children</li>
</ul>
[caption id="attachment_828" align="aligncenter" width="480" caption="Benjamin with me, when he was 2 days old."]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/BenjDebi.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-828 " title="BenjDebi" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/BenjDebi.jpg" alt="" width="480" height="310" /></a>[/caption]

In an <a title="Singing My Babies to Sleep" href="http://motherhoodstress.com/2011/11/01/singing-my-babies-to-sleep/">earlier post</a> I explained why I sang my babies to sleep, rather than letting them cry themselves to sleep. That early pattern of responding quickly to meet the needs of our children resulted in: adult children who are all self-confident, responsible, well-adjusted adults. All five have warm relationships with their parents and their siblings. All five are Christians, active in their churches, with an outspoken faith in their Heavenly Father.

The Psychology Today article also says that a parenting style that ignores a child’s needs “is more likely to foster a whiney, unhappy, aggressive and/or demanding child, <strong>one who has learned that one must scream to get needs met</strong>. A deep sense of insecurity is likely to stay with them the rest of life.” (emphasis mine)

[caption id="attachment_448" align="alignleft" width="194" caption="Andrew as a newborn"]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/AndrewNewborn.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-448" title="AndrewNewborn" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/AndrewNewborn-194x300.jpg" alt="" width="194" height="300" /></a>[/caption]

The article also states that "caregivers who habitually respond to the needs of the baby before the baby gets distressed, preventing crying, are more likely to have children who are independent than the opposite.”

We certainly found the information in this article to be true for our family. The more we worked to meet the needs of our children - including their needs for boundaries and firm discipline, as well as their needs for affection and warmth - the happier we all were.