Supermom: You know who I’m talking about.  She does it all. Her house is always clean. Her children are always dressed in matching clothes, with no stains.  She’s managed to keep her figure.  She never, ever loses her temper with her children.

[caption id="attachment_214" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Lisette with Debi, still in their church clothes"]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/LisetteDebiPorchswing.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-214 " title="LisetteDebiPorchswing" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/LisetteDebiPorchswing-300x219.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="175" /></a>[/caption]

And she’s on the fast track at work, blazing new paths for women in the workplace. Bringing in that extra income that helps her family’s finances stay healthy.

[caption id="attachment_209" align="alignleft" width="186" caption="Andrew helping me bake cookies at age 4"]<img class="size-large wp-image-209  " title="Andrew lickingbeaters" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Andrew-lickingbeaters-666x1024.jpg" alt="" width="186" height="286" />[/caption]
<p style="text-align: left;">All the while baking cookies with her children and sewing their halloween costumes.</p>
We may hate her, but she’s the myth most women feel pressured to emulate.

In a new study from the University of Washington, entitled <a title="Supermom_myth_depressed" href="http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/23/working-women-who-subscribe-to-the-supermom-myth-are-more-likely-to-be-depressed/" target="_blank">“Even Supermoms Get the Blues,” </a>researcher Katrina Leupp reports that women who believe the myth---that they can juggle children, home, husband, career and volunteer work with perfection --- end up more depressed than other moms.

According to Leupp, the University of Washington sociology graduate student who authored the study and presented her research in August at the American Sociological Association's annual meeting: “Ascribing to an ideal that women can do it all… increased the level of depressive symptoms compared to women who were more skeptical of whether or not work and family can be balanced."

"Women are sold a story that they can do it all, but most workplaces are still designed for employees without child-care responsibilities," Leupp reported.

Some of her suggestions were:
- Go into motherhood with more realistic expectations; realize that it won’t be easy.

- Don’t buy into the "supermom" complex; don’t pressure yourself to be an overachiever in all aspects of life.

- Delegate some of your responsibilities. Let someone else run the bake sale.  Ask your husband to do his share of folding the laundry.

- Let a few things slide.

- Limit your work-outside-the-home hours when you can.

And here are some other suggestions, from my book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Stress-Busters-Moms-Deborah-Shaw-Lewis/dp/0310205662" target="_blank"><em>Stressbusters for Moms</em></a>:

[caption id="attachment_212" align="alignleft" width="210" caption="Jonathan after a soccer game"]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Jonmuddysoccer.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-212  " title="Jonmuddysoccer" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Jonmuddysoccer.jpg" alt="" width="210" height="395" /></a>[/caption]

“Remind yourself that you are not perfect. Your  husband is not perfect.  Your children won’t be perfect. Let love be the undercurrent running through the times of frustration and turmoil.” <em>- P. B., mother of two, ages 3 &amp; 5</em>

“Good mothers some in many styles. Know your style and build on your strengths. This can free you from the trap of comparing yourself to other moms.” <em>- Diane Eble, A Life You Can Love</em>

“Anticipate your children’s needs. Before I’d take my baby into a store, I would sit and nurse him, so he wouldn’t be hungry in the middle of shopping.  Later I learned to start my grocery trip down the aisle that led toward the bathrooms. Then five to ten minutes into grocery shopping, I’d take my preschoolers into the restroom with me, and let the power of suggestion take care of that stress.”  <em>- Deborah Shaw Lewis</em>

“Pick your fights carefully. There will be disagreements galore while your child is growing up. Look at each situation and ask, “Will this decision matter in ten years?” If it will, stand your ground.  If it won’t, let your child make his or her own decision.  If the kid end up with blue hair or a weird haircut, it will grow back.”  <em>- P. W., mother of one, age 17</em>

“Don’t obsess! Nobody does this parenting thing perfectly. Give yourself a break and don’t dwell on mistakes or fears.”  <em>A. L., mother of one, age 1</em>

“Get into a weekly Bible study that has decent child care. You will gain wisdom and encouragement, and you will build a network of Christian women to share and support you as a mother.”  <em>D. S., mother of four, ages 12, 16, 17, 19</em>

<em>Some material above was adapted from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&amp;field-keywords=Mother+in+the+Middle+Yoest&amp;x=0&amp;y=0" target="_blank">Mother in the Middle</a> by Deborah Shaw Lewis and Charmaine Crouse Yoest.</em>