Parenting changes one's perspective Richelle Sy-Kho December 14, 2011 1:33pm 14 Email2 762 ShareThis779 If someone had asked me 10 years ago what I would be in 10 years' time, my answer would’ve been a no-brainer. You see, I had just finished a three-month long course on International Broadcast Journalism with the Thomson Foundation at Cardiff University in Wales, after a one-month internship training with CNN in Atlanta in 1999, and I was on a journalistic high. At 27 years old, my career was the only thing in my mind. So I would have said that I’d be a famous and award-winning TV anchor and reporter, with my own show. Or, I’d be working as an anchor and/or reporter for an international media organization like CNN or BBC. Oh, and I’d have a masters and a doctorate degree tucked under my belt at the same time. The thought of having a family, or being a mother, didn’t even figure at all in the equation. That’s why it’s still hard to believe that I’m now a full-time wife to my husband Aldrich, and mother of three young kids, living a quiet and stress-free life away from the limelight. (At least it was quiet and stress free when I was in Iloilo the last seven years.) Quite a long way off from the dreams I had 10 years ago. But don’t get me wrong. I love my life now. Being a full-time yaya, driver, tutor, cook, mother and wife may not be what I envisioned, but I wouldn’t exchange it for the world. When I got married in 2004, I decided to quit my job as a reporter with GMA-7 to settle down and raise a family. I wanted to have time for my kids, to see them grow and be with them every step of the way. I figured I’d only be able to do that if I stay home full-time and be a hands-on mother. I had seen a lot of my colleagues struggle to balance work and motherhood, often missing milestones in their children’s lives because they were out covering a story and doing their job. I decided I wasn’t cut out for that kind of life. The Lord didn’t bless me with a child immediately after my wedding in July 2004. There came a point where I questioned my decision to stop working. After all, I had no children to show for it. It was just me and my husband. It didn’t help that I was stuck in the middle of Iloilo City, with nothing to do but be a bum. I started entertaining thoughts of going back to work and being useful again. Suddenly, just before our first wedding anniversary, I got pregnant, and all thoughts of work went out the window. I was sooo happy. Finally, my wish was granted. I took all the necessary precautions, ate mostly healthy food, and read to my baby even in the womb. I couldn’t wait to be a mother. In February 2006 I gave birth to my firstborn, a baby girl. I named her Raine Alexis. Raine was barely a year and a half years old when I gave birth to my second child, a boy named Aidan Riley, in August 2007. And in July 2009, I became a mom for the third time with the birth of my baby boy Aaron Russel. Being a mom... I’ve always loved Freddie Aguilar’s song “Anak”. But it took on a whole new meaning when I had children. The first time I held Raine in my arms was pure bliss! I couldn’t believe my husband and I were capable of producing such a perfect creature. I was content just to stare at her the whole time, even while she was sleeping. I’d smell her breath, breathe in her scent like Edward breathes Bella’s, and generally smile at her like I had gone crazy. But all that warm fuzzy feeling toward my baby immediately disappeared during times when she’d cry for no reason at all. I was grumpy and tired from nursing and lack of sleep, and here was this abnormally loud creature who wouldn’t give me even a moment of peace and quiet. I was almost ready to throw her out the window. Good thing my husband was there to stop me by getting Raine and letting me cry out my frustration and baby blues away. When Aidan came along, things got worse. I had to take care of an eternally-hungry infant and an energetic toddler. I had to make sure I gave equal love and attention to both. Sure I had yayas, but they were there mostly to assist. I was still the primary caregiver, and the one who slept with them at night. So I often ended up nursing Aidan in one arm, while putting Raine to sleep using the other arm. Talk about multitasking! With Aaron now, things have settled down quite a bit. No more baby blues. I’ve gotten used to getting up several times at night, for feedings and to check on the children. Raine and Aidan are a bit older and have each other as playmates so they don’t bug me that much. Besides, that’s what Papa is there for, to take pesky kids out of Mama’s hands. Good thing my husband is more than up to the task of reining in their “kakulitan.” … is the best thing in the world But despite the occasional complaints I have about the headaches my kids give me, I can’t imagine life without them. I don’t think I can go back to work full-time anymore. I’ve gotten so used to being with my children the whole day that I’ll miss not being with them. The thrill of being looked upon with adoring eyes by my kids, of seeing them grow up and achieving important milestones in their lives … these are priceless. And having three kids doesn’t seem to lessen the excitement I have in being a mother. It helps that all three of them have their own personality and special ways of sucking up to me. As the firstborn, Raine is, and will always be, extra special to me. She’s my mini-me, in terms of looks and katarayan. She’s very perceptive, is naturally curious and is forever asking questions. I usually run out of answers to give her. She’s also sensitive and caring, and easily empathizes with people around her. As an ate, she’s bossy and very protective of her younger brothers, and usually acts as their self-proclaimed yaya. Aidan, my second child, is such an imp. He may be innocent-looking but is actually full of mischief, as most little boys usually are. Mayhem follows him everywhere he goes. At more four years of age, Aidan is still prone to tantrums whenever he doesn’t get his own way. But he’s very cheerful and affectionate, always ready to give me a kiss and a hug. He also politely greets people by touching their hand to his forehead as a sign of respect. Of my three children, Aaron seemed to be the easiest baby and more good-natured than his older siblings. He didn’t cry that much, and generally just ate and slept. But now at two years of age, he’s the most masungit, and prone to throwing temper trantrums, or even doing his own version of planking, when he doesn’t get his own way. Aaron may be the most innocent-looking, but he’s the naughtiest of the three. It’s true what they say that once you become a parent, your whole outlook shifts. Whereas before, I thought only of myself, now my children come first. I made it a point to breastfeed all three of my children to give them the best nutrition, eating boiled malunggay leaves every day to increase my milk supply and bearing with all the soreness and pain that came with nursing. I read up on parenting articles in magazines and on the net to find out how to raise my children better. I buy mostly books and educational toys to further hone their skills and to make them smart kids. And when they smile and look at me with such need and adoration and love, I feel like I’m the most important person in the world. But at the end of the day, I’ve realized that what’s important is not what our children manage to achieve, but who they are and how they turn out. My husband and I try to teach them the right values, to care for others and to learn to strive for what they want. However, I think the best thing I can do for my children is to introduce them to Jesus, and to raise them to be individuals who love and serve God above all. For I believe each child of mine is a treasure from the Lord. He gave them to me for safekeeping that’s why I should do my best to cherish and take care of these precious ones.