Welcome to Motherhood Stress.com. . . . Why motherhood <strong><em>stress</em></strong>, when I LOVE being a mother, find great joy in my children? Because I expected the joy.  The stress came as a shock.

Before our first baby, Andrew, was born, I enjoyed imagining what my life as a mom would be like. I never thought it would be a vacation - like relaxing on a beach in the Bahamas for a few years; but I didn't think of it as "work" either.

I dreamed of outings to the park and visits to the library and wonderful afternoons in a warm kitchen baking cookies with my children.  And the house in the background of all my dreams was always spotlessly clean, because, after all, I planned to "stay home" with my children.

My reality included parks and library trips and baking and other wonderful things: cuddling children; reading stories; playing games.  I had no idea how much I would enjoy breastfeeding my babies.

In my wildest fantasies of motherhood, I could never have imagined all the joys of my reality.  From the rush of tender feeling I got when my nursing babies looked up into my eyes and grinned their first toothless grins.  To the intense joy of watching our youngest son Jonathan walk across a stage to accept his college degree, following just steps after his oldest brother Andrew.

Yet my reality included other things which were NOT a part of my dreams. I never realized how much time I would spend changing diapers, washing clothes, and more clothes, wiping up spills, picking up toys, driving children everywhere, pinching pennies between paychecks. I never imagined yelling at my children in frustration.  I never pictured myself walking out the door to take my children to a park and feeling guilty for the messy house I was leaving behind.

When my oldest children were young, I taught child development classes at Triton College, usually just one course a semester.  After one particularly stressful morning with my children, I headed in to teach about "Playing with Kids All Day: Job Stress in Early Childhood Education."

The list of job stresses for teachers of young children included:
<ul>
	<li>an excess of novelty and uncertainty</li>
	<li>lack of control</li>
	<li>high expectations</li>
	<li>ideals vs. reality</li>
	<li>no clear guidelines or measures for success</li>
	<li>lo</li>
</ul>