I have two confessions to make. First, I sang my babies to sleep. I did not “teach” them to "self-soothe" themselves to sleep. Second confession: I am so very, very glad I sang my babies to sleep.

[caption id="attachment_448" align="alignleft" width="194" caption="Andrew as a newborn"]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/AndrewNewborn.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-448" title="AndrewNewborn" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/AndrewNewborn-194x300.jpg" alt="" width="194" height="300" /></a>[/caption]

Andrew, our oldest son, our first “miracle” baby - now a handsome 32 year old man - was full of energy and enthusiasm for life from the moment he was born. He loved life and he hated sleep. He seemed to think that as soon as he went to sleep, he might miss out on something truly wonderful that life had to offer. So he fought going to sleep.

I breastfeed my babies. So for the early months of his life, he simply nursed himself to sleep. When he woke in the middle of the night, I nursed him back to sleep. He was several weeks old before a night came when he woke in the night, nursed and did not fall back to sleep.

So, I put him in his crib. And he cried. And cried.

Following the wisdom of parenting in 1979, I patted him and then proceeded to let him cry himself back to sleep.

He didn’t.

He cried and cried and cried and cried. And seemed to become more and more and more frantic. After more than an hour of letting him cry, I quit. Picked him up, rocked him and consoled him.

[caption id="attachment_449" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="My father, Charles Shaw, rocking Benjamin to sleep. Daddy also sang to my children."]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/DaddyRockingBenj.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-449 " title="DaddyRockingBenj" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/DaddyRockingBenj-300x260.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="260" /></a>[/caption]

The next night, we tried letting him cry again. And again, it went on for more than an hour, with Andrew becoming more and more frantic, as if he was saying, “I need company. Is there anyone, ANYONE out there listening? Maybe if I cry louder someone will come. Maybe I am ALONE in the universe.”

The next day I prayed and prayed over the situation. And that night, when he woke in the night, instead of letting him cry, I nursed him and then laid him down in his crib, patted his back and sang to him. And within 10 minutes or so, he had fallen back to sleep.

Hmmm, I thought. Ten minutes of singing to my baby, or an hour of listening to him cry frantically. The decision was easy.

So I sang to all five of my babies. Did not teach even one of them to “self soothe.” I sang mostly old hymns. I like old hymns, and they have lots and lots of verses, which I could sing several times through.

[caption id="attachment_450" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The day Lisette was born. That&#39;s Andrew nose-to-nose with his new sister and Matthew peering over his shoulder."]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LisetteBornAM.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-450" title="LisetteBornAM" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/LisetteBornAM-300x209.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="209" /></a>[/caption]

Even today, many years since I’ve had a baby to put to sleep, I can sing every word of every verse of an amazing number of hymns.

My grown children do not seem to have suffered any major emotional distress from having not learned to “self soothe” as babies. They are, all five, amazingly independent, remarkable, adventuresome people. Well-bonded to their parents and to each other.

[caption id="attachment_21" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Lisette, Andrew, Jonathan, Jessica and Benjamin, in May 2011, when Andrew and Jonathan graduated from Asbury University"]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/cropped-family_graduation_2011.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-21" title="cropped-family_graduation_2011.jpg" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/cropped-family_graduation_2011-300x86.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="86" /></a>[/caption]

And, in recent years, two young men, both cousins roughly the same age as my children, have come to me at family gatherings (at different family gatherings, since they come from different branches of our family) to tell me that they loved to hear me sing to my children, when they were children and we were visiting them. One went so far as to say that he wanted to marry a woman who would sing their children to sleep.

[caption id="attachment_166" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="At Emily and Matthew&#39;s wedding in 2007. Lisette, Jonathan, Matthew, Emily, Gregg, Debi and Andrew"]<a href="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/cropped-EmilyMattWed.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-166" title="cropped-EmilyMattWed.jpg" src="http://motherhoodstress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/cropped-EmilyMattWed-300x86.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="86" /></a>[/caption]

Last year a young mother told me that their family was at a loss to know how to get their three year old to go to sleep. They were following a recommended program for helping their high-energy son to “self soothe.” But the process was taking them two hours or so each evening and their son was waking up, screaming in the middle of the night. And this had gone on for several months, with little progress.

“Our entire family is suffering extreme sleep deprivation. I don’t know how my husband and I are functioning at all,” she sighed.

So I told her how I sang my babies to sleep. And how precious my memories of those moments with my children are.

A week or so later, she came back to me. “You have changed our lives!” she said. “I’ve been singing my son to sleep. It takes 15 minutes or so a night. And he started sleeping through the night the very first night I sang. We are all getting the sleep we need. I can’t believe the difference it makes for our entire family.”