A work of interactive fiction is a web of descriptions. Nearly every
object and room in a work has a description, a block of text
> I think this comma should be a semicolon.
associated with that object which is printed after a LOOK or EXAMINE
command.
<P>
The word "description" is a lie, though, or at the very least
> 'at the very least' is a parenthetical and should be
> enclosed in commas.
misleading. The main purpose of a description may not be to describe
> I think this would read better if the sentences were joined.
an object. At the most basic level, descriptions are the primary
method by which an author conveys information about a game world.
> The last sentence seems to contradict the previous -- I realize that
> it's not necessarily a contradiction, but it sounds like one.
> Maybe there should be a word like 'Nonetheless' or 'Still' at the
> beginning of the sentence.
<P>
Authors don't have to reveal much about an object or room at all in a
description. They can overtly or subtly mislead players. Elements of
an object can go undescribed in order to emphasize other elements. An
author can write a description that lies, if the narrator telling the
story is unreliable. Descriptions can also carry more information
> There's a fairish shift in topic here. Perhaps a transition
> would help
about an object than the physical: what mood the room or object
evokes, the state of the game world, and even meta-game information.
> This whole paragraph is structurally awkward. Maybe if it were expanded
> somewhat with some examples.
<P>
Letting go of the preconception that descriptions must describe frees
authors to achieve any number of effects. This hasn't been discussed
in depth before, despite the sizeable amount of extant advice on
> 'This hasn't been discussed in depth before' isn't really relevant.
writing descriptions, especially for rooms. Graham Nelson, in "The
Craft of Adventure" (later subsumed into the "Inform Designer's
Manual"), explores both the craft and art of writing room
descriptions. He focuses on physical descriptions, a relaying of what
the room looks like, as well as how you provide the player with
directional information. Similarly, in "Writing Basic Adventure
Programs for the TRS-80," Frank DaCosta gives five guidelines for
writing room descriptions, four of which are generally applicable:
include pathway hints, use non-oriented language (language which
depends on how you entered the room, such as "You fall into a dark,
slimy pit"), avoid describing unimplemented objects, and use creative
descriptions. In both works the assumption is that descriptions
describe. This assumption is so self-evident that neither work
discusses how you describe objects, since you'll just be talking about
what the object looks like.
> The discussion of DaCosta's guidelines is in more depth than is warranted
> given that the article doesn't really interest itself with that
> aspect of description.
<P>
I'm interested in the things you can do with a description besides
describe. If you're looking for a primer on how to describe objects,
look elsewhere, preferably at how games you like handle this
task. Throughout I'll be speaking to authors, though players may find
this article interesting. I won't be talking much about the <i>art</i>
of description-writing. I'm taking a nuts-and-bolts approach to the
task: if I have three goals for a description, how do I go about
assembling sentences to achieve those goals?  Last, I'll continue to
call the text associated with objects and rooms "descriptions," but
keep in mind that a description doesn't necessarily have to describe.
> I'll talk about the tone later, but a lot of this paragraph
> is just sort of chatty 'justification' stuff.
<P>
Rather than pull examples from other games, I'm going to invent
descriptions for a completely new game, "Quod Erat." In it, the player
is a tourist visiting the ruins of Ostia, once a thriving harbor city
some twenty miles from Rome. While there, the player will be thrown
back in time, visiting the city when it was still a city.
<P>
Let's start with mood and atmosphere. How you describe is as important
as what you describe. Choice of words and phrasing; the use of
literary techniques such as metaphor, assonance, and juxtaposition of
images; and what you emphasize in your descriptions have as much of an
effect on the atmosphere you invoke as Monet's choice of colors did on
his series of paintings of the Rouen Cathedral.
> This paragraph is a bit too vague; I'm reminded of the PAP
> 'if you can dream it, you can make IF of it' article, and that's
> not a good memory for anyone to have.
<P>
The first location in Ostia the player will reach is actually the
> 'that the player'
tombs just outside of Ostia. I want to emphasize the emptiness of the
ruins as a contract to later in the game, when the player travels back
in time to when Ostia was a thriving city. And I'm not above using
cheap dramatic tricks to get my point across -- good thing I'm
discussing craft and not art. I also want to remind players of their
status as tourists.
<P>
  Tombs Outside Ostia
<P>
  Walls, or the remains of them, box you in on all sides.  Wind
  whistles through the head-height niches in some of the
  walls. Underneath your feet loose stones crunch. The southwest
  corner where the walls meet is low enough and the dirt in the corner
  piled high enough that you could scramble out.
<P>
I've pulled out every cliched trick in the book. I have wind whistling
through empty openings, I have crunching stones underfoot, and I have
a total lack of life. Players will undoubtedly look at the niches, so
I'll re-emphasize the dead nature of Ostia. I'll also remind them that
they're tourists.
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE NICHES
  Burial niches, according to the poorly-photocopied sheet you read
  back in the Welcome Center. They are just deeper than you can reach,
  and all are empty.
<P>
One of the main locations in Ostia is the Capitolium, an ancient
temple dedicated to the Capitoline triad of Jupiter, Juno, and
Minerva. The Capitolium is an imposing edifice, despite its lack of a
roof or front wall. As above I want to mention the ruins of Ostia and
the general disrepair of the Capitolium.
<P>
  In Front of a Brick Shell
<P>
  To the north rises a shell of reddish brick. It's twice as wide as
  it is deep or tall, and it's rather tall. The wall in front of you
  is missing, giving you room to enter the shell. The whole thing is
  on top of a tall podium, though your side of the podium has
  stairs. Ruins are on all other sides, though most of them look to be
  to the south.
<P>
I didn't call it the Capitolium because the player doesn't know that's
what it is yet. This segues nicely into my second point: descriptions
don't have to be static. They can reflect the increasing knowledge of
the player or the changing state of the game world. In the case of
"Quod Erat," the player will eventually find a tourbook and map, the
better to learn about Ostia. Once they find the tourbook and return to
the Capitolium, they'll see the following:
<P>
  In Front of the Capitolium
<P>
  According to your tourbook, the rectangular shell of reddish-brown
  brick rising in front of you is the Capitolium, dating back to the
  reign of Hadrian. The shell is over fifty feet high and deep, and
  twice as wide. It stands atop a tall podium; luckily there are
  stairs leading up to the Capitolium. The wall in front of you to the
  north is missing, giving you room to enter the former temple. The
  forum stretches out on all other sides, the bulk of it lying to the
  south.
<P>
I would limit how much game-critical information is in a changed room
description. Even though my games default to verbose room listings,
not all players will stick with that setting.
> Might be worth noting the converse:
> Don't put too much game-critical information (exclusively) in the original
> room description; when it changes, a player may be unable to
> to access information in the original version.
<P>
The description of an object can change as the player learns more
about it as well. A common trick is to describe an object in sketchy
details when listed in a room description, only to have the object's
description tell the player what it really is. The EXAMINE command is
commonly assumed to mean, "I want to take a close look at the object."
It's thus reasonable for what is described as a piece of paper in a
room description to turn out to be a grimy dollar bill when examined.
<P>
The coin that will take the player back into the past begins as a
dirt-covered nub on the floor of a room.
<P>
  Base of the Western Spiral Staircase
<P>
  This narrow niche off the <i>cella</i> ends to the west in a spiral
  staircase winding around a thick column. The floor of the niche has
  been swept smooth by countless feet, except for raised nubs of dirt
  near the north wall. The <i>cella</i> itself is to the east.
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE NUBS OF DIRT
  For the most part, rocks covered in dirt. There is a glint from
  one of them.
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE GLINT
  Something disc-shaped, and covered in dirt. Metal shows through the
  dirt in places.
<P>
The glint serves to tell the player that there's something special
about one of the nubs of dirt. The hint of metal suggests that the
disc should be cleaned. This is important, since the coin is activated
by rubbing it. When the dirt is cleaned off, it is revealed to be a
coin.
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE DISC
  Now that you've cleaned off the dirt, you can see that the disc is a
  coin. One side is badly damaged and nearly smooth, but the other
  side has a picture of a man on a chariot holding a spear aloft.
<P>
And to olden Ostia the player goes! Mentioning the results of an
action in an object description is a good way to acknowledge the
player's actions, but can become tiresome if they carry the object
throughout the remainder of the game. After the first time they
examine the disc/coin, I'll strike the first sentence and add the
phrase "of the coin" to the remaining sentence, so that the
description will begin, "One side of the coin is badly damaged..."
> Might be cleaner to simply write out the modified description.
<P>
I'm glossing over a number of game details, of course, like what
synonyms for "nub(s) of dirt" or "glint" the game should
recognize. Since I'm worried about descriptions and not general game
design, I'll merely wave my hands about furiously and assume we'll get
those details right.
> Since this article is about description and not synonyms, etc,
> better to omit this paragraph altogether. The reader should know the
> scope of the article by now and not need to be told that you're not
> discussing how to write a game.
<P>
So much for evolving player knowledge; what about an evolving game
world? In Infocom's "Enchanter," the room descriptions change as the
game progresses, describing a castle that decays further with each
passing day. The change I have in mind for "Quod Erat" is even more
dramatic. The player can, by mucking about in the past, end up
destroying the Capitolium. When the player does so and returns to the
present, the description of the Capitolium has changed.
<P>
  In Front of the Capitolium Podium
<P>
  The podium where the Capitolium used to be rises in front of
  you. Marble stairs lead northward to its top, where a few of the
  Capitolium walls, none more than two feet high, still stand. The
  forum stretches out to all sides of you.
<P>
After the very first description I gave, I mentioned that players will
undoubtedly look at the niches. When you mention things in room
descriptions, players will generally examine them. The more
prominently you mention objects, or the odder you make their
description within the room description, the more notice they'll
draw.
<P>
You can use this fact to direct players' attention and lead them in
the direction you want them to go. For instance, once in old Ostia,
the player will come across a Roman terra-cotta lamp. This lamp will
serve a two-fold purpose. One, it will provide light. Two, it will
provide a source of heat. (It will also provide fire, always a
dangerous substance in interactive fiction. I'm sure the game will
deal with it properly, hand wave, hand wave, hand wave.)  The heat
> The time you've spent explaining that you're hand-waving could
> have implemented some of these things. Best not to mention the handwaving
> at all.
from the lamp will be necessary to soften the wax stopper of a bottle
later on.
<P>
Since players won't necessarily connect heat with light, I'll mention it
explicitly so as to direct players and help them follow my lead. When
reading a paragraph, people remember best what's in the first
sentence, followed by what's in the last sentence. For this reason I'm
going to mention the heat in the first sentence. This is an effect
that is not to be overused. Players may figure out that you always put
important details in the first or last sentence if you don't vary your
technique. Save the first-or-last-sentence trick for situations where
you want to give a stronger-than-normal clue.
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE LAMP
  Heat rises from the lit wick of the terra-cotta lamp. The lamp is
  teapot-shaped, with a circular handle on one end and the wick
  emerging from the spout on the other end. Where the convex lid of a
  teapot would be is a concave top inscribed with a battle scene.
<P>
Similarly, if there's something important in a room which a player
needs to examine, you can make sure to mention it in such a way as to
set it apart from the rest of the room description. For instance, in
the builder's guild courtyard, there are some marble columns which
contain clues to a puzzle. I want to make sure players notice them.
<P>
  Courtyard of the Builder's Guild
<P>
  The courtyard, surrounded by the builder's guild, is a rectangle
  with its narrow ends to the north and south. The entire courtyard is
  surrounded by a porticus with brick piers. The north and south sides
  have squat marble columns that differ from all the others you've
  seen. Leaning in one corner of the courtyard is a statue.
<P>
The phrase "differ from all the others" is meant to catch the player's
attention: hey, here's something out of the ordinary. This effect can
be used as a stage magician uses patter and fast hand movements, to
distract the player for a while. There is a bathhouse in Ostia, and
> I think 'like' would be a better word here for the simile.
> The first time I read the sentence, I took it to mean 'this effect
> can be used *while* a stage magician...' -- I worked it out
> quickly, but tripping up the reader over the grammar is Bad.
one of the rooms with a basin has a trap door leads to a tunnel
below. The room's floor is covered with mosaics, except where the trap
door is. If the player examines the gap in the mosaic, or even the
mosaic or floor itself, the trap door will be described.
<P>
To delay that event, I'm going to make one of the architectural
details of the room more prominent. I'll also make sure to mention the
basin in every sentence, and only mention the mosaic as a lead-in to
describing the basin.
<P>
   Northern Cold Basin
<P>
   Geometric designs picked out in black-and-white mosaics run nearly
   all the way around the basin in the center of the room. All three
   walls of the basin have niches; from them, water jets from a
   pipe. The west niche seems deeper than the other three. Tall
   columns separate the basin from the frigidarium.
<P>
I said I wouldn't discuss how you deal with room exits in room
descriptions, but I lied just the tiniest bit. There is a south exit
from the room which I didn't describe because the only initial way
into the room is through that exit.
<P>
Object descriptions can carry meta-game information. There are times
when use of an object requires special syntax that will not be easily
guessible. The stone-placing game in "Quod Erat" is one such
object. Players must place marbles on a rectangular grid.
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE BOARD
  The wooden playing board has hemispherical depressions arranged in a
  six-by-five grid. Each depression is just big enough to hold one of
  the marbles from the trough beside the board.
<P>
  [To place a marble in a specific depression, type >PUT MARBLE IN X,
   Y where X, Y are the x and y coordinates on the board.]
<P>
It's customary to set such meta-game information off from the regular
description by surrounding it with square braces.
> I'm not sure that the discussion of meta-information is apropos
> to that of descriptions -- though a discussion of meta-information
> might make a neat article in its own right.
<P>
While descriptions customarily give physical information, they don't
have to. You can describe without really describing by depending on
what the player knows from real life.
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE PEBBLE
  Pebbles in the past are just like pebbles in the present, only
  newer.
<P>
Sometimes what you want to describe isn't really visible. At one point
in "Quod Erat," a mouse runs across the floor of the room and into a
mousehole. An attempt to examine the mouse will result in
<P>
  >EXAMINE THE MOUSE
  You can see nothing of it, as fast as it ran across the floor and
  into its mousehole. There is the hint of light glinting off eyes
  deep within the hole.
<P>
Sometimes you'll want to use descriptions to indicate the player's
state rather than that of the world. In old Ostia the player can find
a bottle of drugged liquor. The player will, of course, drink from it,
despite the inadvisability of such an act. Shortly after that occurs,
the player's grip on reality will slip rather badly. The resulting
room description when it first occurs will bear little resemblance to
the actual room description when the player isn't drugged.
<P>
  In a Grey Fog
<P>
  You are surrounded by a grey fog which hides most everything.
  Indistinct shapes surround you, some near, some far. Thinner patches
  of fog lead south and southwest.
<P>
The directions in the description will correspond to actual room exits
for whatever room the player is in, though subsequent movement will
take the player into uncharted territory.
<P>
I've given a number of examples of what you can do with descriptions
besides describe. They can set the tone and atmosphere of parts of the
game. They can reflect the changing nature of player knowledge and the
state of the game world. They can both lead and mislead players,
letting you choose in part where the players will focus their
attention. They can carry meta-game information, and they can even
carry no information about the true physical nature of the object they
purport to describe.
<P>
The above list is not exhaustive. It's meant to serve as a starting
> I fear that the phrase 'the above list is not exhaustive'
> is one that will occur in far too many of the articles in this collection.
point, not an ending one. Nor is it meant to suggest that all
descriptions must do more than describe. Descriptions are meant to
convey information in one form or another, and most of the time that
information should be the physical description of the object in
question. Nevertheless, knowing some of what descriptions can do will
hopefully give you ideas of things to do in your own games.
<P>
-----------------------------------------
1. Is this article clear and comprehensible?
<P>
For the most part. There are a few paragraphs and sentences that are awkward,
noted above. The only major issue I take with the main body of the
article is that there is a tendency to spend too much time dismissing
minutae (The repeated references to hand-waving over things outside the
scope of the article -- if it's outside the scope of the article *don't
mention it*).  Presumably this is designed to keep a potentially
argumentative respondant from getting hung up on irrelevancies,
which is pretty standard protocol for usenet, but isn't really
necessary in this forum. If anything, too much time is spent
defining and justifying the scope of the article.
<P>
2. Are there places where you would like to see the line of argument
expanded or explained in more depth?
<P>
One issue I take with the article is that it doesn't really seem
to *go* anywhere. It's basically just a list of examples, loosely
organized.
<P>
3.  Are there things you disagree with entirely?
<P>
Not as such. This is as good a place as any to talk about the tone, though.
I don't really think that the personal, first person tone works here.
This is a hypothetical game designed to demonstrate techniques in
description, not a study of the author's design process. As a result,
a lot of the text has a feel that doesn't help the point: I was
more interested in the game he presented than in the techniques.
<P>
4. Are there examples or interesting points you can think of that the
author has not addressed, that you think he should cover?
<P>
Lots of examples. It might be better to play down the use of the
hypothetical game in favor of some real-IF examples, not to
make the point seem more relevant, but to keep from distracting the reader;
because all the examples are from the same game, from a game which has
no existance outside the article, the reader may pay more attention to
the content of the example rather than the technique it demonstrates.
<P>
There isn't much about how description may reflect the player character's
feelings toward an object; that a kind PC might view a homeless person as
an object of sympathy, while a more cynical PC might view the same person
as an object of disgust.
<P>
Related to this, there is a *lot* of power, in terms of bringing about
the intended emotional response, in the emotive content of a description.
Furthermore, a change in a description can convey an emotional, rather
than intellectual shift in the PC, something which is not discussed.
Obviously, however, it is a point of contention whether the game has
any business projecting emotions onto the PC -- but given that this
hypothetical game is willing to project knowledge onto him, I think it's
fair.