Before you get into this I wanted to point out that, although my comments
below are mostly negative, I really enjoyed this particular essay.  The
stuff I liked I didn't comment on, so the tone of the rest of this email
is misleading.
<P>
This is a great article, and very well written.  It was a pleasure to
review.
<P>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
<P>
However, like any variety of genre fiction, Lovecraftian horror is easy
to do, and somewhat more difficult to do well.
<P>
How about:
<P>
 However, like any variety of genre fiction, while Lovecraftian
 horror is easy to do, it's somewhat more difficult to do well.
<P>
I suggest this change because I had to re-read your sentence to get your
point.
<P>
One can too easily get so lost in the trappings at to forget what makes
<P>
"as" to forget
<P>
Lovecraft's stories so distinct and compelling -- to lose sight of the
forest, as it were, amongst all the tentacles.
<P>
Heh.  Sometimes a mixed metaphor is just what you want. :-)
<P>
To pose just one example: Lovecraft's stories are not particularly
scary. It's true. It is something of an open secret amongst fans of the
<P>
Not sure what stating "It's true" buys you here.
<P>
wonderful suspense worthy of any action film . . . but the stories
aren't frightening, not in a visceral way, not in that way that makes
you turn suddenly in your chair, shiver, and check down the darkened
stairs before trepidly returning
<P>
"Trepidly" doesn't show up on m-w.com.  Perhaps timorously would be better
here?
<P>
to the computer keyboard to enter your next move.
<P>
Whoops.  I had been in 'reading a book' context, not 'playing a horror
game at my keyboard' context.  My suggestion is to switch to "returning to
the book to read the next sentence."
<P>
And no amount of blasphemous horrors from beyond the universe will ever
make them so.  The monsters of the Lovecraftian world are often, by the
author's own admission, indescribable. Its horrors are unnamable. How
can the reader be frightened by something which, he is flatly told, is
beyond his every experience?
<P>
Counterpoint: sometimes (oftentimes?) that which you don't know can be
more frightening than that which you do.
<P>
From this perspective, Lovecraftian horror can be ideally suited to the
genre of interactive fiction, because the player of the game and the
protagonist in the game mirror each other in their goals. Both are
presented with a hidden story that is gradually revealed, puzzle by
puzzle, to the enterprising seeker. Both sift through fragments of text
until the final narrative is laid bare. Hopefully, only one will have
cause to regret it when the search is finally over.
<P>
I don't understand this last sentence.  What do you mean by "only one"?
The player?  Why should the player regret the "final narrative" (which is
apparently the antecedent of "it").
<P>
I *think* what you're trying to say is that the player will be so caught
up in the narrative (and the game) that he will be disappointed that it
has to come to an end.
<P>
The exploratory phase of your game is important.
<P>
There was no prior description of phases.  Perhaps an overview of what
phases you think belong in a game with horror would be in order.
<P>
Whatever you do, don't dump the entire backstory on the player all at
once. Make him work for it. Scramble it, scatter it, reveal it in
fragments and in the wrong order.
<P>
I understand your point, but it the last sentence makes it look like
you're saying the *player* ought to 'scramble it, scatter it'.
<P>
 Make him work for that backstory by scrambling it...
<P>
For example.
<P>
Remember that the Awful Truth cannot truly be described, only implied.
<P>
I think this is an important point.  The Awful Truth, as you put it, works
better if the player figures it out for himself, rather than being told
it.  Even to confirm that Awful Truth later on is to belabor the point
(and can be seen as an insult to the player's intelligence).
<P>
In *Anchorhead,* that the earth was nearly devoured by a giant squid-god
is terrible; that, to the squid-god, our earth is merely a single crumb
amongst many, a morsel hardly worthy of attention except for the tiny
noise made by a handful of cultists -- *that* is the Awful Truth.
<P>
Earth should be written with a capital e.
<P>
In any case, that last message,
<P>
   *** You have won ***
<P>
should always be read with a hefty grain of salt, if it to be read at all.
<P>
Or it should be 'You have survived'.
<P>