ONLY on a Saturday night talent show. A man who looked like the kid from the old Irn-Bru adverts beat two black guys to win a Lionel Richie tribute-act contest.
Now,[url=http://www.cheapuksalehandbagsoutletlv.co.uk]louis vuitton sale[/url], I've been in my sick bed for the last week, double-dosing on antibiotics and various other things they give to old men with lungs like cement mixers.
I've checked the side-effects on the leaflet, but seemingly my pills don't bring on hallucinations.
Which leads me to only one conclusion, the peely-wally guy with ginger hair and see through skin really did convince Lionel's celebrity superfans that he was African-American.
As Lionel himself might say, hello? Authenticity, however, isn't the name of this game.
"Who better to kick off the show than Old Blue Eyes himself,[url=http://www.lououboutinsshoesuk.co.uk]louboutin uk[/url]?" panted Graham Norton.
Sadly, it wasn't Frank Sinatra himself. He couldn't make it on account of being dead for the last 10 years.
That's the thing about The One And Only,[url=http://www.lououboutinsshoesuk.co.uk]christian louboutin sale[/url]. None of the winners are, alas,[url=http://www.cloboutinsaleukshoes.co.uk]cheap christian louboutin[/url], the one and only Diana Ross, Dusty Springfield or Tom Jones,[url=http://www.lououboutinsshoesuk.co.uk]christian louboutin shoes[/url].
They're lookielikies, like the French and Saunders p**s-takes without the intentional comedy,[url=http://www.louisvuittonsaleukoutletcheap.co.uk]louis vuitton bags[/url].
Take Anthony, the one and only frozen food driver who sings Frank Sinatra at the wheel.
Or Michelle, the one and only care home assistant who sings Mariah Carey songs to demented pensioners.
Meanwhile, over at the Care Commission HQ,[url=http://www.lvuittoncheapsaleukoutlet.co.uk]louis vuitton uk[/url], an anonymous phone-call was received,,, Thankfully, unlike the X Factor, no-one here seems to be taking this too seriously, except perhaps vocal coach David Grant, who sanctimoniously hoped fans could see through ginger Moni's skin colour (or lack of it) and hear his rich(ie) singing voice instead.
Ironically, at the same time, sidekick Carrie Grant was fretting over whether one Cher bore enough of a physical resemblance to the singer.
"She's not the same shape," she said,[url=http://www.chrilouboutinshoesoutletsale.co.uk]christian louboutin sale[/url]. Cher? Shape,[url=http://www.mulberryuksalehandbagscheap.co.uk]Mulberry bags[/url]? Plastic's a tough act to follow.
There's a sort of school-talent-show feel to affairs and a ramshackle air of "make it up as we go along". Quite literally in the case of one Elton John who forgot the words and ended up sounding more like a TellyTubby.
Elsewhere, the Madonnas were busy drawing gaps in their front teeth and for some reason the Tina Turner impersonators weren't given enough screen time for us all to enjoy figuring out which of them were men.
That wasn't the only conundrum though. Oddly,[url=http://www.mulberryuksalehandbagscheap.co.uk]Mulberry outlet[/url], there was a Robin Gibb in the Rod Stewarts, a Kylie in the Dusty Springfields and even a thoroughly convincing Yvette Fielding in the Madonnas.
Or maybe that was just the tablets. Who knows?
Think I'd best get back to bed.
'The peely-wally guy with ginger hair really did convince celebrity fans he was African-American'
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