Jeffrey Benjamin

When my dear friend Julie went into labor three years ago, I was sitting in a hotel room in Madison Wisconsin. I had been accepted there for grad school, and flew out to look at the program. It was freezing! And I had just returned to my room with some delicious Thai take out. I can still remember hearing Tom's voice, telling me all was going well. There was this tone of excitement in his voice, and I wished so much I wasn't that far away. Jeffrey was born while I was away, but I went to see him as soon as I got back. He was gorgeous immediately. So small and perfect, and Julie looked ecstatic! She is an amazing mother, and the best proof of this can be seen by simply spending time with them together. For the one night I was in San Diego last week, Ben and I went to dinner with Julie, Tom and Jeffrey. The last time I saw him was December 2003, and I posted some photos of a very happy baby. We arrived at the restaurant first, and when they walked to meet us, I saw Jeffrey running towards me. He literally ran into my knees and gave them a hug. Generous love without any expectation! My heart almost exploded. He was the same way the last time I saw him -- all smiles and affection.

I had potential heart explosions all through the dinner. He sat next to me, and drew on the paper table cloth with crayons for ages. At one point, I asked if he would draw me something. "Don't tell me what it is, I want to guess when you're done," I said. He grabbed a green crayon and started to draw. looking from the paper up to my face. Staring at me so intently. A portrait! I nearly died. He was so thoughtful and quiet. When I guessed at the end, he seemed thrilled that I knew what it was. I had him sign it with a pen, and I tore it off, and placed it in my sketchbook when we left. If I have kids that cute, I am screwed. They will be able to do and say as they please.

Another amazing quality, is his vocabulary. For someone who literally turned three a few weeks ago, he was able to converse with us during dinner, formulating whole sentences. At one point Julie explained that he likes to have a word of the week, and suggested he share his most recent choice with me. "Rambunctious!" he explained and burst out laughing. I will need a spell check just to insert that into this post. His favorite word the night we had dinner, "Appetite!" I had to control myself from taking a bit out of his arm.

We joked when he was born that I would marry him the day he turned 18. This was before he could even speak. And now, Julie explained, Max is in even more danger because Jeffrey has taken to cooking things in the kitchen. I believe the gauntlet has been thrown.

To see more photos of that gorgeous face, click here.

Beautiful Landing

Last week I was in San Diego to see Ben and his mom. To get there, I flew down, and then we drove back up the coast the same way we did last Fall. We had an awesome time, and Ben was rewarded for his eight hours of driving by Max with an outstanding dinner. ]This dinner deserves it's own post, which will come later in the week.]

Certainly spending 2 days driving up the coast, only to then turn around and return the 3rd day, is not the best form of travel. But Ben loves to drive and really wanted us to spend our time this way. There is something special that happens when you take a road trip. It's a different way of spending your time together. You see things on the roadside and share the experience of that. You tell stories and make each other laugh. You listen to music and spend time in silence together. It’s one of my favorite ways to spend a vacation, as long as there is air conditioning and music. Max and I have taken a few road trips together without these luxuries, and this can make things much harder.

When I landed in San Diego, it was already dark, and I took these photos from the plane. I am so in love with them. I love blurry photos, and these fall directly in line with that aesthetic. I may paint these huge, or just print the photos big, but I think I will be doing something with these images. To see all the images, click here.

Saved text messages

Inspired by Sarah B.

Wish you could have stayed on. On my way to work and missing you.

Too bad, I'm watching slaves! Boomboodudu

Curtain puller

Au bon PAIN!

Rent something upbeat and funny. No need to be foreign and sad.

I am home. Going to buy mousetraps.

You are my sunshine.

I just stepped on poop.

WTF, I just tripped and fell on my face.

Are you bored yet?
No, but I just woke up.

You are a butt slut.

Poop, almost done.

Jamie Rose Bolin

While working out on the treadmill Friday, I listened to the initial reports on CNN that they had found Jamie Rose Bolin’s body. There were no details at that point, except to say she had been found in the same neighborhood she lived. As the weekend progressed, more details have been revealed, and the story is just horrific. This little girl’s father will never be the same again. To discover that his missing child was murdered and being kept in the apartment below his is unimaginable. It’s a nightmare.

The man who killed her had apparently kept a blog, and wrote about his mental health, and not taking his anti-depressants. He said that his thoughts and ‘fantasies’ were becoming weirder, and he knew they would put him away if they ever found out the things he wanted to do. What he ended up, and further planned doing to Jamie Rose is too much for me to even write out in this post.

I am continually catching my breath when I think of the fear that must have surged through her body when he captured her. This terrifies me the most. What she must have been thinking in those final hours. I pray she didn’t have any pain, and that it happened quickly.

In light of this monstrosity, I am thinking of someone unexpected - Tom Cruise. We all know that he believes that anti depressants simply “mask the problem”, and that ‘there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance”. But if the accused was in fact mentally ill, then I have to ask myself if Jamie Rose’s death could have been prevented. Living in San Francisco near Union Square, I see large numbers of homeless people everyday – many of whom are mentally ill. They walk around talking to themselves, screaming at no one in particular, screaming at diet coke bottles, screaming at me. Is their imbalance my imagination? Is it the poorly nourished diet, that includes genetically altered or chemically processed foods?

And what of the blog this guy kept? This all seems too little too late. Should there be a monitor of sorts for blogs now, in the hopes that crimes like this could be avoided? I told Max that I fear these things must happen more often than we know about, and he questioned whether films today are planting seeds in the minds of those who do them. This of course brings up the age-old debate about whether art imitates life, or vice versa. Obviously, as an artist, I am torn on the topic.

After reading this post, please take sixty seconds out of your day, close your eyes and just send your positive energy and light to the spirit of this little girl and her family. It will cost you nothing, and the ripple effects of positive energy are never wasted.

My gym teacher Connie

High point in gym class:
Connie included me when referring to her 'regulars' in the class.

Low Point in gym class:
Connie told the class my water bottle looks like hillbilly moonshine.

My kind of town

I thought I would take a moment to showcase a few of my favorite spots in the city. All too often I rave about San Francisco, but it is only clear through the places I love to frequent that this would be evident. Obviously the biggest advantage of moving here has been the people I've met, but there are so many factors that add up to why this is the best place to live in America. That's right: hyperbole is my best friend.

Best bookstore:
A Clean Well-Lighted Place for Books. Hands down the coziest place to look for/read through books. They have a huge Biography section (my favorite), which many stores don't include anymore.

Best Indian Food:
Chutney. I'm thrilled to see they don't have a website, so I can't share too much information about this place. For years now I have not written about it, because I didn't want to share this Indian restaurant. But at some point last summer, I am sure that one of the guides did write about it, because it's been packed ever since. It's nothing fancy, but the food is phenomenal and you can't beat a dinner for two at $15.

Best place to people watch:
Union Square. This is a neighborhood, but the square itself is a great place to sit , catch some sun and people watch.

Best Vegan Meal:
Medicine Eatstation. I've written about this place before, but felt it was worth re-iterating: not the cheapest, but satisfying to me everytime.

Best Vegan Breakfast:
Herbivore. This place is not worth going to on a Saturday unless you're willing to wait for ages, and the server isn't great. I'm not a fan of someone who asks me what I want to eat, and then responds with 'Right on' after I tell them. But if you can go early on a Sunday morning, it's fantastic!

Best Stationery Store:
Paper Source. I seriously cannot go in without buying something.

Best sushi:
Sanraku. Super nice staff, and excellent sushi. I also love the rewards incentives card-we receive gift certificates in the mail periodically.

Big Studio Movies Theatre:
Sony Metreon. I am all about the stadium seating.

Best Saturday Brunch:
Whole Foods. It seems like a weird choice, but the international food bar here is amazing.

Indie Film Theatre:
Embarcadero Cinema. Even though I think the Landmark Group is overpriced, this is my favorite one.

Best Art Supply Store:
Arch. Amazing paper selection, and the back corner includes a collection of nick-nacks you never realized you always wanted.

Best View of the city:
The elevators in the St. Francis Hotel. If you're scared of heights, this isn't for you. These glass elevators are on the outside of the hotel, and shoot up 32 floors.

Llama!

When we drove up the coast a few weeks ago, I saw this llama when we stopped for gas. As the truck pulled up, I saw something in the back, and had this weird moment where I felt like I'd slipped into a parallel universe. Have you ever seen a llama? They are so weird looking! And I'm not sure if it was just this one, but the teeth are maybe the strangest feature. It's like upside down buck teeth. Max was pumping gas, and had his back to the truck. I was yelling from inside the car, but all he saw was my crazy face. I got out of the car and pointed, at which point he turned and started laughing. I got a bit closer to the truck, and asked the woman, who was now pumping gas, "What is that?" I actually didn't know initially. It seemed more like a creature from Dr. Snuggles or The Neverending Story. She explained it was a llama and agreed to let me take these photos. I've decided that they are very cool animals, and everyone should see one in person at least once before they die.

A nice dude from the art world?!

Last week we went to the Ampersand opening. It was for a loosely grouped collective from Brooklyn. I walked over to Rebecca Szeto and was chatting with her about the work. I pointed out my favorite artworks, and then she introduced me to Olen, the artist who made my favorite piece. I am SO glad I didn't say anything negative about his work! This solidifies my parent's teaching that if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Fortunately for him, I loved his piece. And he was such a nice guy! Really gave a lot of the 'artworld dudes' a run for their money. Please check out his site and take a peek at my photos from the show. I threw in a few shots of my ride to gallery -- it is still raining in San Francisco...

Rebecca, Olen, penguin

One of my favorite people

I have known Deborah just about as long as I've lived in San Francisco. Our birthdays are close together, and we are similar Sagittarian free spirits. She is neurotic and picky the same way I am, and makes me laugh a lot. A very independent woman with a lot of spunk, she easily rests at the top of my list of favorite people. I recently interviewed her to find out what life is like for a French person in San Francisco - she has an American mother and a French father. And this is what she shared with me.


Birth place: Grenoble, France
Star sign: Sagittarius
What time of the day were you born: 8:30PM
Favorite foods: cheese, chocolate, lox
Least favorite food: beets, cinnamon, ginger
Favorite drink: water, tomato juice, mocha from Tartine
Least favorite drink: apple juice
Favorite book: World According to Garp, Into Thin Air, Wuthering Heights
Favorite band: The Beatles, Built to Spill, Phoenix
Favorite film: The Godfather, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, When Harry Met Sally
Describe yourself in 5 words: overly sensitive, loyal, quirky, fun, particular
Something people don't know about you: I am constantly battling my inner slob

Have you enjoyed being an only child?
No, I have always wanted siblings. I am completely fascinated by that relationship, and I have a tendency to idealize it. I get really upset when siblings fight in front of me, and really moved when they seem to be enjoying each other's company.

What is life like as a French woman in America?
Well, I do not consider myself a "French woman", I don't consider myself American either. I really feel like I am half n' half. It's a great advantage in life, but I also sometimes feel like I don't fit in in either country. I have a lot of what some of my friends have labeled as "the European inflexibility" in me. This has sometimes caused problems for me living in a country where people don't go by "traditions" and are always looking to modify and "improve" things. Sometimes I like to go by the "rules", and I don't want to explain why I do things a certain way, or why I don't want to change it.

What were your parents like when you were a teenager?
My parents have always doted on me (I am their only child), but when I was a teenager, they were pretty strict with me. I was always the kid that couldn't go out, and who had to be picked up early. At the same time they really instated a sense of independence in me. Now that I am an adult they are very supportive of any decision I make about my life.

Having worked with so many, what is your opinion of artists?
I hate to generalize; artists are like everyone else they come in all shapes and sizes. They are amazing passionate people, that I definitely really look up to. I am very envious of people who seem to know exactly what they want to do with their life, and are committed to it 100%. One thing I have noticed about artists is their lack to seem to relate to other people.

What did you want to be when you grew up (when you were a child)?
A chemist. I really wanted to wear a lab coat, have my hair up in a bun, and wear glasses (?????)

Which vacation, thus far, has been your favorite?
I think my trip to Peru really topped all my other trips, but it's hard to pick. I also really loved Norway.

What is it that you love and hate about San Francisco?
I love how beautiful this place is, the landscape, the weather, the architecture. I love the amazing people I have met here, and the never-ending list of things to do. One thing I have had a problem with, is that it seems very hard to make meaningful bonds here. People are not committed to this place, and I feel that they hesitate to commit to friendships as a result. It's a great place to have a blast for a few years, but I miss a sense of community.

What do you value most in life?
This is going to sound totally corny, but I feel there is no other response. The one thing I truly value in life is my family and my friends.

Best surprise you've ever gotten?
I have a knack for ruining surprises. I have rarely been surprised in my life. When I was kid for my birthday, I would hold a present and know exactly what was in it. My mom would get so annoyed at me.

Why don't you have a blog?!
Well, probably for several reasons. One I don't have the self-discipline, I've never been able to keep a journal, either. The second reason would probably be linked to some insecurities of mine, and not feeling like I would that have much interesting stuff to share.

Best and Worst teachers you've ever had and why?
Best: my sixth grade physics teacher. He was super strict, asked for a lot of respect, but gave it right back to us. As an 11 year old, it was really thrilling to feel like I was getting a glimpse at adulthood. Plus he made physics interesting.
Worst: so many, I wouldn't even know where to start. France is known for its BRUTAL teachers.

Do you accept your neurotic behavior or do you try to fight it?
I have no idea what you're talking about! I accept most of them, in fact, I like them!

Nicest compliment you've been given.
Oh, this is a very long story. Short version: when I was 16, and working at a summer camp, a man who had been my counselor, and who I always really looked up to (he was very COOL, well read, into music, hilarious) made a point of telling me he had misjudged me in the past, and now that he really knew me he thought I was an interesting person, and wished he hadn't jumped to conclusions. I don't know if this makes any sense to you, but it's a moment I have never forgotten, and it was 12 years ago.

What do you like to do on Sundays?
Go out to brunch, make soup, fight the Sunday night blues by having dinner with friends.

Newman or Redford?
In general I would say Newman, but in "Butch Cassidy", I would have to go with Redford.

Do you think the story behind 'When Harry met Sally' is still relevant today?
I don't know that it ever was relevant. I love the movie for the dialogue mostly. I definitely think it's possible for men and women to be friends. I've never succeeded at it, but I still believe!

Biggest lie you've told yourself.
N/A

Biggest lie you've told others.
N/A (I'm not much of a liar, I can't think of anything). I exaggerate A LOT, ALL THE TIME.

I think you are a very funny person. Do you think of yourself that way? Yes, when people laugh. I have friends who think I'm funny, but I also get a lot of blank looks from people (I am assuming they don't think I'm funny).

Street Talk

As I walked home from the subway yesterday, I passed a guy who was playing the saxophone on a street corner. An older woman walked by and threw some money in his case and thanked him. He stopped playing and they started to talk.

Woman: Thank you for that.
Sax guy: You're welcome.
Woman: That really lifted my spirit!
Sax guy: Wow. Well that really lifts my spirit!

Only in San Francisco (or California) will you hear this kind of banter. And despite this moment of potential upliftment (is that even a word?) I was almost immediately annoyed by some people who were walking too slowly in front me as I crossed the street. I have discovereed that I have 'walker expectation'. As a local resident, I have come to find the tourists rather annoying, and would prefer that they get their own special sidewalk. A place where they can wander freely, slowly and with little disregard for those around them who may be in a hurry to catch their train on time, or make it up the hill before peeing in their pants. Why must they stop in the middle of the sidewalk, or push their baby strollers at 1MPH? It is honestly the tipping point that can make or break my day, depending on how I feel.

I suppose that the east coast still simmers below the surface in me. Perhaps Worcester did ruin me forever, and I'm only realizing that now.

Welcome dear Milly

Milly (Mildred) rolled off the truck last Tuesday, and soon after became a new member of our family.

My top 5 reasons why Milly is awesome:

1. She is spacious. Max's head doesn't brush against the ceiling, which is a refreshing change.
2. She is economical - 37 miles to the gallon.
3. She is an automatic, which is great for all the hills in our San Francisco neighborhood.
4. She has 4 doors! Good lord we love this luxury.
5. The iPod extension, which allows us to play 30 G's of music whenever, wherever we want! And of course the controls for volume in the steering wheel don't hurt either.

We took a few days off and traveled up the coast, testing her abilities and strengths. I am happy to report that she is a dreamy ride!

See pics from the roadtrip here.

Charcoal really works

This post is an after thought about the trip to New York earlier this month. As mentioned, I contracted a pretty bad stomach flu on the first morning there. The night before we ate at a vegetarian friendly place, which I've been to before. But for some reason I was really sick from it the next day. Melissa kept count, and I crapped ten times throughout that day. In the morning I tried peppermint tea and some imodium, and this settled things a bit, but did not remedy the situation. We had a fairly tight schedule, and could only see the Whitney show that one day, so I forced myself out, and ate a bag of spelt pretzels in the hopes that this would slow things down. But inevitably what happened was I did bathroom rounds after each floor of the exhibition. The weather was unseasonably warm the week we were there, and the Whitney was not equipped to handle this. With no air conditioning, the temperature was at least 10 degrees warmer inside, and this doesn't help when you're feeling nauseous already. It was disgusting. The bathrooms at the last Biennial included an art installation with deep blue lighting and a sound piece. This year all the lights were on, and we were able to see and hear how gross and unkempt the toilets were. It definitely made me rethink whether this is in fact my favorite museum...

I finally ended up going to Whole Foods and buying some charcoal, per my mom's suggestion, and this stopped things dead in their tracks. So - if you ever have diarrhea, be sure to avoid trying all futile remedies and go straight for the charcoal - it works!

The next day at the Armory Show, we were shocked to find a few themes permeating between the different galleries: vaginas and poop. This zeitgeist seemed to show up in work regardless of country, race or gender. And most of it was unsavory. Melissa and agreed that we are definitely on the wrong track to making it big, and perhaps a little more shit would help things along...

Towards the end of the night, we stumbled on this large painting, and decided this needed to be documented. It solidifies the nickname given to me on the trip quite well: shit butt.