What does it all mean?

I got a call yesterday that the class I was supposed to TA in June and July has been cancelled. Only two students signed up, and they can't afford to run the class with that few people. I wonder if the economy is so bad that people can't afford classes like it this summer. Of course I am disappointed, but I am also wondering what it all means. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that one door closes so another can open. So I am wondering what is in store for the next two months? Perhaps I am meant to solely do studio work and just make art... Perhaps I will need more time than I think for my German class in June...

I am having an art block in the studio at the moment, so it doesn't feel good to have this extra added pressure. I went with Ruth to the Headlands yesterday to see Liz Walsh's work in the project space. She graduated from CCA a year ago, and when I went to check out the school, her work was the best thing in the MFA show. She paints and does animation, and I like her work a lot. We talked to her about how confused we feel now the first year of grad school is over, and that we feel we know even less than we did when we got there. She said she felt the same way, and that the first year broke you down so much - you were raw in your artmaking after that. She said she had a similar block in her first summer, and just made tons of work. That 80% of it was 'whatever' but the last 20% was a real breakthrough. I felt inspired by that, and I also liked what I saw in the project space that she had done. So... I am off to the studio to keep making the crap, in the hopes that the gems will emerge.


A badly taken pic of Liz's animation at her MFA show last year.

I never win when I enter!

My friend Deborah had emailed me a few weeks ago, asking that I enter a contest to win tickets for a private concert in Berkeley with Patty Griffin. I was shocked yesterday, when I received an email congratulating me on winning! I never win! But it feels good... Even better is the fact that another friend of Deborah's won, which means I'll be able to take Max as my guest.
--------------------------

Post Concert Comments.
What an amazing voice. Superb lyrics, that made me cry twice. It was a real treat.

Cool new blog

"Just 'cuz you have lots of dollahs does not mean you can name your kids after random ass fruits and towns." Judith Light Brigade

Reality bites.

There is a special place in hell for people like these.
Shows like The Swan and Are You Hot? make me sick.

Night of a Thousand Mushrooms

Our friends Melissa and Erik came over for dinner last night. Max cooked most of the afternoon preparing a real feast. I was the official prep cook - washing things,setting the table and entertaining Max. In the last few months we had eaten dinner at their place : Cafe de Fromage, and Erik is an amazing cook. He made multiple courses all with cheeses included. I think Max was truly blown away and was determined to create the same impression. Lucky Melissa and Lori! Melissa loves mushrooms, so Max made all these different mushroom dishes and one traditional German meal in celebration of the white asparagus festival. It smelled heavenly in the kitchen all day. And the meal was unbelievable. Good company, good food, good night!

Sign for the door.



Flowers from Melissa and Erik.



Prep time.




The meals eaten were as follows (in chronological order):

Wine: White Bordeaux and Chardonnay. Melissa and Erik brought two bottles with labels they had made. Just incredible! Max was totally fooled until they explained Erik had drawn them.



Grilled Oyster Mushrooms with Garlic infused olive oil, served with baked lavash bread.



Button mushrooms stuffed with a goat cheese, fennel, leek mix.



Grilled Polenta with a crimini mushroom ragu, drizzled with melted gorganzola.

[no picture available as I was a piggy during this portion of the meal]

White asparagus and baby new potatoes with a Frankfurt Green Sauce (cream based with dill and chopped egg)



For dessert: Vanilla ice cream with fresh raspberries and carmelized chopped almonds.

Winner!

Eight CCA Students Awarded Fellowships by SF Foundation. More...

Who's lucky? That's right!

As some of you may or may not know, I do not cook. It is very rare I feel like being in the kitchen to make a meal, and even less rare that I'm successful at it when that happens. However... I am blessed. I live with a man who LOVES to cook. I'm not talking BBQ, boiling pasta or scrambling some eggs. I'm talking full fledged - Al Clad pots - Wüsthof knives - sautee - simmer - reduction sauce cookin'! And I love it. I am able to enjoy beautifully cooked meals, by someone who truly experiences a sense of joy by making good food. The most recent expedition is the home made tortellini. What follows are the ricotta lemon zest tortellini, topped with fresh butter crisped sage.

Do you see what I see?

The format of this blog changed recently, and some people have mentioned that they don't see it properly anymore. For those of you who visit regularly, I wonder if you see things as I had planned for them to be seen. I am including a screen view of what I intended. Do you see what I see?

Very Little Moments.

A year ago I was trying to make a decision about which grad school to go to. I was seriously leaning towards New York City. It was a place I had always dreamed of going. Two of my best friends [Ben and Jose] live there, and my family are all in New Jersey, so I knew I wouldn't be lonely. I had visited CCA in San Francisco and liked it, but was trying to talk myself out of that, because I had focused on New York for so long.

When I flew to San Francisco, Max sent me a text beep on my cell:

Have you landed? Missing you... sitting in the library alone. Good luck in SF. (Hope you like it...) Your biggest fan.

Initially I told Max I had made my decision and it was New York. He pretended to be supportive, but I could tell he was not happy. I tried to explain to him that it would be fine. That we would each visit every other month, which would cover every month in between breaks, and then I would come to Berkeley for Summer and Winter vacations. His response was very clear, and very simple = It's not about the big events, it's all about the small moments. The little things.

I chose the CCA program, with my only real reservation being the cost. We found a new home in Nob Hill together. We vacationed in Europe before starting school together. We walked out the door to our new lives together. And life has been really amazing since moving to the Bay Area. If I had chosen New York, I would only be traveling to meet Max now. I can't imagine doing that right now.

He was right. It's Sunday brunch in Cole Valley. It's going to Napa for the day and eating falafel sandwiches with our friends. It's seeing Troy at 3 in the afternoon. It's telling me Britney Spears actually sings a song called 'E-mail me your heart'. It's the good morning kisses, and the singing from the shower. It's all the little things that add up to a better quality of life.

Thank you Max. Thank you for being such a special person and taking care of me the way that you do.

Saying Goodbye

The CCA graduation was so well done! Note that when you walk across the stage to accept your diploma, an image of your work is projected on the screen behind the stage.



Meredith and James


Stephen Goldstine

Show and Tell

The MFA 2004 Show opened with a bang. There was a huge crowd for hours and the vibe was really electric. I hung out with Meredith for a few hours, and then walked through the show with Max while we drank large quantities of white wine. I didn't even get to document all the work I loved because the crowds were too intense, but here are quite a few good picks.

Good people...



Meredith's snazzy bag, and snazzy haircut. The haircut ties into the drawings but I don't realize this connection at first.

Debate about Anna Maltz's piece...


Select work from the graduate show...





The after party. Neolance attempts to play.

Play Ball.

While our dear, sweet friend Katie was here, she wanted to see a ball game. Max was very excited about this, and we traveled across the bay to see the Oakland A's play. We got amazing seats, and I felt a little guilty as I am not a baseball fan by any stretch of the imagination. It was awesome to sit that close, but I really had very little understanding of the game or what was going on. Meredith and James came along too, as James is a big baseball fan. Meredith and I sat together, in order to allow the 'real' fans the opportunity to sit and talk about the game. They drank beer and ate pizza and nachos. Meredith brought her knitting, and I brought a book. I caught people giving us confused or angry looks, as we periodically looked up from what we were doing to see how the game was going. Towards the end of the game, I picked up my purse to get something, and had no idea it had been sitting in gum, which then spread across my dress. It was nasty! A sportsman I am not. (note the sexy baseball hat Max bought me to avoid my passing out from heat exhaustion)

Catching up...

Because my calendar has been so full, I've done very little with the blog in the last two weeks. In the next few days I will be posting events that have taken place. For now, I will leave you all with the penguin phenomenon. I drew a penguin on the blackboard in class one day after lecture. Week after week people added other penguins around it, and faculty wrote notes around them. It was amazing. On the last week of classes, they were still there, so I decided to document the board.

Why is it always Mexico City?

Mexican Air Force pilots filmed 11 unidentified objects in the skies over southern Campeche state, a Defense Department spokesman confirmed Tuesday. More...

I'm with stupid

My friend Katie has been here all week. She loves Scrabble, and games have been played every night. I sat out last night, because it was just becoming too humiliating. My scores both nights were close to 70 each time, while Max topped out at 193, and Katie kicked our asses with 362 at best. This is another definitive example of how grad school has made me dumber.


[Not an example of our games]

Super Puke!

I just saw the documentary Supersize Me with my friend Katie. It was a very shocking but interesting film. I haven't eaten McDonalds since 1996 -- when I was driving cross country with Max from Santa Fe to Worcester, and we made a quick stop to eat while driving -- I vomitted on the side of the highway for hours. Anyway, I haven't eaten there since 1996 and now I never will again. Supersize Me was an educated look at an industry that doesn't have much of an interest in the good health of this country. It was also really sad to see how bad it is for kids, and yet how many parents take their children there because it is cheap and easy. One expert was explaining to him that kids want the playgrounds, and enjoy the food because it's full of sugars and fats, which create a feeling of euphoria in the brain. I laughed at the film maker Morgan Spurlock response, 'Yeah, that's why I will punch my kids in the face everytime we drive by McDonalds so they never assocate it with a happy, warm feeling.' It addressed how lazy adults in America are, and also how lazy parents are. That they don't feed their children well, nor do they educate them on how to eat when not in the home. Particularly in the schools. What the schools feed kids was horrific. It honestly made me feel like I had another reason to homeschool when we have a family. He continued to see 3 doctors during the 30 day period of eating McDonalds, and after 21 days, they explained his liver was in shock, and was starting to turn into pate. It was really scary. This film will not only make you stop eating junk food, but it may also turn you off of eating animal products all together. I gave it an enthusiastic thumbs up!

Proud of my parents

An awesome write up on my parent's business on the vegikitchen.com website today.

"Some time ago, one of my readers wrote to me, inviting me to visit the cafe she owns with her husband, called It’s a Wrap in South Orange, New Jersey. Recently, on a car trip to Philadelphia, my family and I took her up on it. It was just a tad out of the way for us, but hardly a detour, and well worth the stop.

As its name implies, wraps are the specialty here. Though not vegetarian, this eatery is very veg-friendly. Of some 13 featured wraps, 6 are vegetarian (actually vegan); and of 10 sandwiches, half are vegetarian. There is also a freshly made vegetarian soup of the day, and an impressive variety of juices and smoothies, made fresh to order. The owners make it a point to use as much organic produce as possible.

Though It’s a Wrap is relatively new (not even two years old), it’s not hard to see why it has already garnered a loyal clientele, drawn mainly from the local community plus the other “Oranges,” Maplewood, and Newark. I enjoyed meeting the owners, Elaine and Russ Gordon, and agree with Elaine’s simple philosophy: “If you serve good, tasty, healthy food, people will come.” I heartily agree, and hope we will be able to pay a return visit to this charming oasis.

It’s a Wrap is located at 9 Village Plaza, South Orange, New Jersey. For hours, map, and menus, visit their web site at http://www.itsawrap2.com"

Sheep

I want to thank Max for sending me the following image and message. I honestly didnt think it was real at first.
If you ever wondered ...where Merino Wool comes from.

Made me laugh... more than once

My pal Danny has a new (and very funny) piece on the Morning News site. Check it out.

May installation

Just received new pics from Yudi and Monique. These babies get cuter each month!

Mira-white hat | Rucha-blue green check hat

Alias Opera

Watched Alias last night while working on an animation.
I havent seen this show since the first season, and it
didn't matter one bit. I was able to follow along, aside
from a few sopa-opera-esque moments: Isabella Rosellini
being her aunt, and having an affair with her father, and a
sister she never knew she had, the 'evil guy' being the same
one who ripped out her teeth in the FIRST EPISODE!
American TV never lets you down.

New reviews

Created a new blog for the Film Reviews link. Much easier to manage that way.

1 down 1 to go

It's official. The first year of grad school is over.
As with most other 'milestones' [prom, high school graduation, college graduation] it feels completely anti-climactic. I am most sad about the fact that many of the people I befriended in the program were 2nd years, not those who entered the program with me. And many of them will be moving on to different places. Things ended well at a celebration on Friday night at the Il Pirata bar. An event curated by the lovely Tanya Zimbardo. The invite read as follows:

reddoublestar
MATTHEW HIGGS and DAVE MULLER
play DJ PING PONG

2 brilliant DJs - artists - friends
2 sided, silkscreened reddoublestar paddles
2 song portraits on sexy letterpress posters
2 predominant colors - red + black
2 lovely curator friends
2 kisses from me

As usual Higgs played some fantastic music, and I danced for hours. Good drinks, good company, good gig. I also bought one of the paddles from the sale, and I hope it will increase with value over time. (yeah)

Next step is the summer. Four months of doing whatever my heart desires. (sort of)
There is the grad MFA show and the actual graduation ceremony. One of our best friends - Katie - visits in May. I am the Teaching Assistant for the Visiting Artist class through June and July and I have just been offered a counselling position for the Young Artist Studio Program in August. Teaching Assistantships were just announced for the Fall, and I will be TA'ing for Painting 3 with Linda Geary. The course description states:

For senior painting students who are independent and committed. You should expect the results of one project to lend momentum, inspiration, and continuity to the next, and so on. You will learn to bring closure to a painting or to a body of work, and come to grips with the idea of exhibiting your work publicly. You will learn to participate in and value constructive criticism. All students are expected to share insights, explorations and questions during class discussion.

And lastly, I am considering Intensive German 1A at the Goethe Institute. It's four times a week, 2 hours a day. whew.